Comments on I did it MY WAY: Destination:DEATH

@coffeeis... Will do next time :)

2009-05-04T16:38:00.000+05:30

@coffeeis...
Will do next time :)

@Serendipity Happy romantic endings...very diffic...

2009-05-04T16:35:00.000+05:30

@Serendipity

Happy romantic endings...very difficult for me 2 imagine ;) Will give it a shot though!

@L-G-L: Thanks 4 the input...I am glad that u guys...

2009-05-04T16:33:00.000+05:30

@L-G-L:
Thanks 4 the input...I am glad that u guys r reading my stuff and helping me improve literally :P

I liked this. Made my eyes almost moist. A wee bit...

2009-04-30T10:06:00.000+05:30

I liked this. Made my eyes almost moist. A wee bit more description would've been nice...but this was pretty good...

Ok, here's my amateur opinion : I like it. its soo...

2009-04-29T17:01:00.000+05:30

Ok, here's my amateur opinion : I like it. its soo sad though :(

How about a ncie romantic happy ending story for me? Im a sucker for those...and could use one right now.

TFL- what a sad, lovely story! i dont think it was...

2009-04-29T16:02:00.000+05:30

TFL- what a sad, lovely story! i dont think it was cliched. i think it was a very nice plot.

but a few things you might want to keep in mind- 1. the kid's lines didn't exactly sound like a 8-year old speaking. please try to make dialogues fit the charecter, so that the reader can visualise it.

2. you might want to use less words and more suggestions in your dialogues. people dont always say every thing they feel. they suggest a lot.

3. you could have made the old man a bit gruff, to set off the kid's innocence.

this doesnt however take away the fact that the story was beautiful. and i loved the poem too :)

@Aniket: Thanks alot! That a very important piece ...

2009-04-29T07:47:00.000+05:30

@Aniket:
Thanks alot! That a very important piece of advice I got. Will work on those lines for the next read. Keep reading and criticizing. I am looking for loads of improvement. :)

Thanks for putting Emily's poem. It gave the peace...

2009-04-29T01:33:00.000+05:30

Thanks for putting Emily's poem. It gave the peace its meaning. :-)

And since you are one to call spade, a spade... I go tough with you:

I liked your earlier piece better. Somehow some dialogues felt forced in. To throw in some advice I got from the pro's like Jason and Sarah is... Not to put in multiple questions or statements in one dialogue. It takes the attention away from the words. And to feel the voice of the character... whether he/she would actually say that.

But I loved the overall plot of it.
The longing to belong to someone and be acknowledged is a very powerful emotion.

@ki: glad u read the actual message behind the sto...

2009-04-28T23:16:00.000+05:30

@ki:
glad u read the actual message behind the story :)

@ashwin: will definitely try 2 un-cliche it next t...

2009-04-28T23:15:00.000+05:30

@ashwin:
will definitely try 2 un-cliche it next time ;)

I don't agree with the above comment. I liked the ...

2009-04-28T22:20:00.000+05:30

I don't agree with the above comment. I liked the story a lot. :)

Makes you think about life coming full circle, the futility of death... nice! In a really sad way, of course.

old man alone, young boy dreaming and alone - both...

2009-04-28T22:19:00.000+05:30

old man alone, young boy dreaming and alone - both terminal. cliche.

nice poem in the end.