I did it MY WAY

Read ME.NOW.

2012-01-11T21:26:00.002+05:30

Wasted two hours of my life attending an English class, for I have recently lost the power to write, and thought "hmm, maybe the English could teach me some English"? If not, at least give me some muse to write. Why, oh, why do I ever get such fancy ideas?

Honestly, my 5th grade English teacher did a better job in covering everything I listened to today, 15 years back! And I yawned for 2 hours straight going through an IELTS grade 4 lecture, killing myself in the head in 20 different ways for ever thinking that I lost my love to write. Everybody lies, and this was what I lied. If there is anything I could do with utmost satisfaction is that I can pour out my heart and soul on paper (if not to people). Yeah, and I can also picturise most of you right now smirking - She thinks she can write! But baby, haters will always hate, and writers will write. And I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.

But its true I lacked inspiration - to write, crib and scream out loud here. Mostly because the number of sensitive people around me has increased ten-fold, getting offened at the slightest touch of sarcasm or a pinch of harsh reality. Nobody wants to talk about the bad, ugly and the slap-in-the-face kinnda truth. Everybody became that wishy-washy love dreamboat who live in their concocted world with imaginary happy endings. Wake up you fools, you are not who you think you are! You think you are God's that favoritecreation, but trust me you are just that strand of sperm that survived from getting flushed out. So shut up about how life is unfair to you, man up and deal with life. And for sanity's sake, don't flood my facebook homepage with your love problems. I don't give a damn if you dumped or got dumped by someone. Yeah love happens, so does shit. And if you think you can cure cancer by reposting a stupid status, think again. People are dying anyways, with or without your status. So get the hell outta your mind, and my homepage. There are more serious problems in life. Period.

And if you are one of those losers who thinks your life is not going anywhere, it won't ever will. Thats because you sit on your lazy fatass the whole day tweeting about every single pointless event of your wasted life. So you pooped big brown chunks of cereal you ate today for breakfast, big deal. So did my dog. But I don't facebook that fact. Stop wasting your dad's black money on buying blackberrys and iPhone 4S. Instead get high class prostitutes. That way you won't die young with AIDS, and live happily long enough to reap off public money just like your dad did.

As for the princesses who are waiting for their Prince Charmings, honey, that will never happen. You gonna die an old maid alone in your Never-Never land. The world has only frogs and toads, and Robinhood's 'gay'men ( or was that 'merry'?). Nevermind. And if you do find your PC, grab him by the collar and tell him, rather than discussing it with your gal pals. If he rejects your offer, he is a pussy or you are just fat. Oh c'mon men are flippant, and so are you? Didn't you run after the hottest bod in the block? Either workout on that muffin-top or just your self-esteem. If neither works, learn to kiss as many frogs as possible, yet stick to the best kisser. But calling me a mean bitch, won't help you at this point.

Anyways if you survived the hatred till now, and have succesfully wasted 10 precious minutes of your life reading me depreciate you, and you still think that I can't write, think again bitch. I not only held your attention for 10 whole minutes, but I also faked you in hating me(hopefully!). And thats what writers do the best - create a world for you that can either suffocate or revive you. So love me or hate me. But I will strike you now and again with my crazy imagination, and even stronger words. On the other hand, I could just be suffering from multiple personality disorder. Professional hazard.

PS. If you think you want more such stuff on this platform, 'like' it and drive me nuts with your hatred in writing. Otherwise, just wish you never ever met me at all. I am what your mother warned you about.

Who needs a Hazare when there is a Pandey?

2011-09-05T16:04:00.000+05:30

Today I m in a feisty mood. Maybe its from the sugar rush of eating the wet chocolate cake last night. Or maybe its the Pandey factor! The girl has finally stripped for the failing cricket team, and the nation finally has something new to look forward to than watch Arnav blabber night after night on Annadom. Anna Hazare and Poonam Pandey, are the heroes of the day! Both are relentlessly fighting the autocracy of the Bourgeoise class - one, of the nation and the other, of the cricket world. If one is shedding kilos, and the other is shedding clothes..just to motivate the people of the nation!

Many thanks to Team India for losing their mojo in the English soil, we finally see Miss Pandey coloring the silver lining in nude. Twitterati has gone amok with her posing semi-nude to cheer up our fallen players on the pitch. One look at that pic, and you wilI know she has given a whole new meaning to 'deep mid wicket' . She plans to post more of such delights for every match the team wins. Now thats quite a 'motivational surprise', not just for the 'chosen 11' but for all the men in the entire nation and the world at large. The girl knows her shit well. Who is the donkey now, Mr. Hussain? Will your English ladies ever dare to bare for the team?

I don't know if our 'Robinhood Pandeys on field' will be able to make magic happen hereafter, but Miss 'dis-robin Pandey' has surely opened quite few magical doors for herself! Her nymphomaniacal behavior might make it to the Harvard Case Studies (if not Hollywood), wherein it will be studied and discussed with grave brevity, on how it can inspire and eventually lead to greater good(sic!) Who knows, in future she might even give therapeutical "Nude Motivation" classes in A-class corporates, so that the already sleep-derived zombiefied employees are pushed further to yield more results. Her IIM dreams might have fallen flat on her face, but now that she bared and dared to dream beyond the IIMs , she might soon be co-authoring books about her motivational skills with our egg-hatcher guru.

Long story short, both Anna and Poonam are superstar material. No matter how bizarre their respective Modus operandi is, they truly understands the mob psychology and can make it work for their benefit.

Can you do a Poonam Pandey or an Anna Hazare for your country?

Tweaking my memories on 'The Blue Mug'

2011-09-01T10:44:00.001+05:30

This is a much delayed post, building a home in my blog kittybag for long time. Thanks to work, fatigue, fever, answering emails, packing and re-packing...its been a no fun blog-less journey for sometime!

If colors were to be associated with days of week, my last Saturday was truly blue - first it was the play, The Blue Mug, and then my turquoise silk dress (more on that later!)

Fair warning, this post will not be my usual onion of criticism or a mud pie of gossipy disapproval of the play The Blue Mug. Mostly because it was an experimental play and due to my inexperience in such theatre, there were bits I didn't understand. But I love live performance art - in any form. Whether it was the German Philharmonic Orchestra I saw long back in Kolkata or Marina Abramović's "The Artist is Present" at MoMA(New York) last year, there is something about live art that strikes a chord in me.

The Blue Mug boasts of big billboard names - Rajat Kapoor, Vinay Pathak, Ranvir Shorey, Sheeba Chadha, Munish Bharadwaj and Shipra Singh. No wonder the tickets sold like 'hot momos'. I was lucky to get two best seats in the house - second row and center, ftw! Based on Oliver Sacks' essay on case histories of patients who suffer in bizzare situations due to memory loss, the play was a juxtaposition of the memories of all the actors who played themselves. So if your are going there to watch one particular story with a perfect start and ending, forget it! Enjoy the company of the brilliant cast ensemble, their joie de vivre on recounting strange memories and the excellent comic timing. There was such an easy flow to Atul Kumar's direction that it will blur your mind's eye - whether this was staged play or an au naturel rendezvous of a bunch of old friends. And as the actors connected, their shadows along with the lively background music made sure that this play stays in our memory for a long time.

Speaking of the cast, I will give personal review on each as they made their signature moves intelligently through 75 mins of monologues.

Lets start with Rajat Kapoor. Until that evening, I was sure I didn't suffer from the Hefner effect, but this "Mahesh uncle" from DCH made me think otherwise. Standing just few away, he seemed like the 'man-wine' - getting better with age. Something my mom could never understand as she grilled the 'starry-eyed' me afterwards- "Aren't you half his age!?" But despite his jaw-dropping good looks, there was monotony in his script - the sad middle-aged loner reminiscing his past turned out to be a familiar ho-hum affair.

But let me assure you there was never a dull moment when you have Vinay Pathak on stage. The whole stage lits up to his Falstaffian gusto for life. A natural comic, he did what he always does the best - exhibiting his man-child innocence. His "Dance of the Pervert" with Sheeba was so well played that I laughed till I had tears in my eyes.

Sheeba, Munish and Shipra are three actors whose respective work I have not witnessed before, and now regret it - 'coz they are absolutely amazing!! Sheeba's artistic expressions and champion monologue delivery left me, mouth agape. Whether it was her monastic chants of 'We are what we forget' or the bottle feeding fetishization of her 13 year old self, she was like a fresh breath of acting. Munish bagged the some of the funniest scenes from the script and he did justice to them. Shipra proved a good substitute to Konkona Sen Sharma, who plays the concerned doctor to Ranvir Shorey's character.

But the showstopper of the evening was Mr. Shorey, and he re-defined the meaning of "versatility" to a whole new level. He outdid himself playing the middle-aged amnesiac with long term memories. In his mind he was stuck to his 21 year old self, and as he connected with the audience with his rustic Punjabi, you can feel his contradictory emotions with the confusion of time. Gave a total bittersweet angle to this play!

I had a great time experiencing and soaking in this excellent journey with the actors. But I was damn disappointed with the crowd. Its a courtesy that one gives standing ovation at the end of such brilliant act, but the city's crowd thought it to be otherwise. This was something I realized after standing all alone and clapping my heart out, only to be joined a little later by few hesitant audiences. No wonder the actors got pissed (I am sure!) and they didn't come out during the requested encore. And I didn't get a chance to meet them after the play. *sob, sob*

But being a terminally optimist, I just couldn't let that dampen my mood for the evening. I glamed up for the play in my new silk dress, something I did last year when I went for a Broadway show. Yes, I do have my "super-girly doll up" phases and I indulge in them shamelessly. They totally compliment the hours I have religiously put in the gym everyday, besides being a good break from my usual casual-formal attire(sic!).

Overall, this whole episode is sure to last as I connected with the play at some point and few narratives did tweak my memory to exclaim, "Ah that happened to me!"

My perfect breakup and sexy rebound

2011-07-17T15:35:00.003+05:30

It started when I was 13 and ended at 25.
Just like any other teen romance that eventually ends when you reach adulthood, I finally closed the Harry Potter chapter of my life. Thank God its over! The characters of the series I grew up with, progressively grew darker and more complex. The movies were the ultimate testimonial to the once stark moral universe of Harry Potter turning eventually into something increasingly shady with prickly, very confusing questions of good and bad. I m glad Rowling put an to this madness.

But then, I know I will miss waiting for the new HP book every summer; the anticipation of whats going to happen next, the trivia, or simply comparing whether the movies matched up to my imagination. Crazy is, and always will be, the human heart! When its difficult to stay, its also the hardest to leave. And as the set of Hogwarts started falling apart during the final battle scene, an eerie silence took over the audience. And I felt what they were all feeling. This is the last time when we all shall come together as the connoisseurs, fans, or just dreamers of the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. This modern classic gave us something more profound than just a fantasy world. It has let us immerse ourselves in a world of grave danger and relentless evil that is make-believe enough not to bleed into our own messed up Muggle reality. As an adult fan, it was a breathless, compulsive reading, and enthralling cinematic journey for me. And like any other Potter fan, I know that the Master Spell caster(J K Rowling) gave us the full possession of our own power of imagination.

Adieu, my decade old love of magic and spells!
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But every heart (and gut) wrenching breakup needs a great rebound. Zoya Akhtar's Spain odyssey was a tease to the wanderlust in me. Within hours, I was transported from the depressing set of Hogwarts, to the La Tomatina festival in Valencia. Beauty of watching movies back2back! Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara slipped me into the adventure mode, to let things go and let gravity do the rest. Each frame of the movie was charged with high levels of testosterone, friendly banter, romance and the exotic Spain(somebody teach me the Flamenco!). Yes, this is another road movie revolving around 3 men, but this is no Dil Chahta Hain. The movie is more like a poem on reel with all its profound elements. There was the perfect rhythm among the characters fighting their insecurities, fear, letting go of emotional baggage and being free finally. The cast ensemble was brilliant and transitions each of the 3 protagonists goes through, added the iambic meters to this poetry.

Farhan Akhtar did bag most of the witty and pacy dialogues of the movie, but after sometime his "Bagwati" jokes kindda grates the nerves. Hritik looked surprisingly comfortable with his extremely restrained yet lovable character, who had a not-so-surprising transformation(the usual girl effect - brooding bad boy turns Peter-Panish). As for Abhay Deol, nevermind. KJo should cast him in Dostana 2. The Kaif chick was at her best, less scenes and minimal talking. Never liked her so much! And Kalki definitely deserved the "Chudail" alert.

Carlos Catalan's cinematography and Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy's music played a brilliant intonation to the movie's poetical rendition. The songs are hummable and Javed Akhtar's profound lyrics is mind blowing. Its an absolute pleasure to listen to the soulful Toh Zinda Ho Tum. My heart feels richer and my soul feels lighter than before.

But the real hero to me is the script and the positive messages it showcased. This might be no "game-changing" movie but it deals with some of the serious emotional issues faced by the Gen Y. We all seem so burdened and haunted by the ghosts of our pasts, that we have forgotten whats its like to be free and live each moment. In the movie, one of the characters comments on how everything in life is already written. I think its a scary as well as reassuring thought at the same time. Scary because no matter how hard you try, you can't change your fate - shit, gore, happiness, sorrow - everything is included. But its also reassuring to know that there are actually no surprises in life. Everything is planned, we just don't know yet.

Another important aspect of this movie is on how we actually need to get scared while facing our repressed fears and unresolved conflicts. Because being scared lets you know that you are onto something important. I mean, if you are not scared, you are not taking a chance..and if you are not taking a chance, then what the hell you are doing??

Finally I got published!

2011-07-11T22:14:00.002+05:30

Hello blogdosts! Few weeks back I got this surprising email stating that #somewonderfulpeople read my blog and liked it. And they wanted me to be the Guest Columnist in theviewspaper.net. Never have I written anywhere before (besides this sacred space), and little did I knew what would come next.

Ah, the beauty of virgin column writing -- its frustrating to the core! And for the first time I could sympathize with men and their "performance anxiety" fear(maybe for completely different situation but feelings are all the same) - will they like it? will they hate it? did i come on too strong? or was it a phus-phus attempt? did i make any grammatical mistake? were my analogies good enough? were the past writers much better than me? why do they even like my writing 'coz I m sweating my pants off!!

Mind you, sentences don't come easy, especially when you need them the most. Its a frustrating, sad and disappointing journey till you get them right. To battle with each sentence, twist it in different ways and then finally ~~strike~~ them off mercilessly, has been quite a masochistic writing journey. If the Trash folder was turning out to be my new bestfriend, I was being a great torturer for my #bffontheothersideoftheinternet. Everytime I had a "cool idea" I badgered him to listen to me. A quid pro quo for solving ~~all~~ most of his life's problems.

Whether its while crunching data at work or after waking up to a nightmare, the absolute truth is, I get pleasure in my struggle with words. Just like Dravid does everytime he hits through the line.

And without further delay, blogdosts, I give you my Virgin Column.

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Ladies and gentlemen, we’re now ready to start boarding the flight

After spending doggone hours in the transit, these words are like music to my ears. Waiting is no fun; especially when you are in desperate need of rest or just travelling alone at all weird hours of the day. But such experiences can often manifest into various reflections of life.
I love being in an airport, and enjoy the thrill of travel and change that comes with it. Each is unique in itself, buzzing with life and creating a pseudo-reality within its walls. One can witness the vortex of human existence right there. Thousands of lives cross paths everyday, sharing nothing in common but, the air they breathe in and the floor they walk on. The place becomes quite a reminder, that despite our differences, we are not alone in our journeys. Life is synonymous with the airport, and the various flights we take mark the transitions in our respective lives.

It all starts when we reach the airport. We wheel our bags to the airline ticket counter, show our ID to the agent, pass through the security, check the flights chart and then proceed towards the departure gate. We expect the flight to take off on time and fly without incident to its destination. But if there is bad weather, a breakdown in communications, a breach in the security or any other eventuality that might affect our journey, we are normally more than upset.

Similarly, as long as our businesses, our jobs, our studies or our relationships etc. are up and running, wwe pay minimum attention to them and expect everything to just work. But things do go wrong in life. And just like malfunctioned airplanes can’t complete their journeys, we too will not reach our destinations or goals when important aspects of our lives are malfunctioning. It is only then we realize the importance of balancing work and life.
The airport also provides the most interesting backdrops for someone who enjoys observing people and imagining their life stories. It is amusing to watch travelers, specially an hour and half before their flight. That’s when they are naturally vulnerable, open and exposed - the nervous chatter of the first timer, the relaxed gait of the vacationer, or the bored expression of the frequent traveler.
And if you enjoy interacting with people from different walks of life, airports give great opportunities. For a few hours, your paths will cross but once, so why miss this chance on knowing someone in a personal way? Learn people, and you will be surprised to find yourself in the crowd. If you listen to that hum, you can hear individual voices. And if you listen more closely, you may even hear yourself.
Of course, the idea of flying thousands of miles away from everything familiar might make your insides clench. But all you need is some faith in the first step – boarding the plane. The rest comes easy, as incredible experiences await you!

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Bloggingly yours,

T-F-L
Fun-sized creative package.

Who run the world? Girls!

2011-07-05T23:53:00.000+05:30

It's hot up in here
DJ don't be scared to run this, run this back
I'm repping for the girls who taking over the world

While you are grooving to this new peppy number by Beyonce´, the world is actually being taken over by two new superwomen. A big salute to the new IMF chief Christine Lagarde;and also to Yingluck Shinawatra, the new Prime Minister of Thailand. If one is the finance minister of a G-8 economy, the other tasted politics since her embryogenic days. And both of them will be the first women ever to hold their respective new positions.

From today, Christine Legarde will be the managing director of the International Monetary Fund for the next five years. While she's not a trained economist, she has made her mark as the first woman finance minister of France. Her roll-up-your-sleeves attitude and frank manner had set her apart from the lofty figures of French politics. Now as the IMF chief, her main worry will be to avert the resurgent Greek crisis that could quake markets around the world and threaten the future of the euro currency. Eh bien Madame´, you are a trail blazer for women from Chicago to Paris in halls of power long dominated by men. May you save the Euro!

Moving onto Bangkok's Little Sister, Yingluck Shinawatra, she will be joining the ranks of women world leaders such as Indira Gandhi, Shiekh Hasina, Sirimavo Bandaranaike, Benazir Bhutto and Corazon Aquino, after a landslide win of her party Puea Thai(For Thais). One look at her, and you will know that this telegenic woman has all the charisma and the determination to forge a national reconciliation in a politically-divided country that witnessed violent clashes last year. Only six weeks into her political career, she has been often monikered as "the clone" of her self-exiled brother, the ex Prime Minister Thaksin Sinawatra.

So what exactly sets these girls apart? Are they more assertive and persuasive than their male counterparts? Many believe that women leaders are more empathetic and flexible, and also have strong interpersonal skills. But I think its their "I will show you" attitude when faced with adversities and setbacks, thats acts as the biggest driving force.

Closer to home, there is one such woman I would love to see ride to power - the savvy Priyanka Gandhi Vadra. Not only she is the splitting image of her Grandma Gandhi, but she also projects similar political astuteness. And the fact that she chose family over politics, strengthens her candidacy for the country's hot seat. No doubt she is and will be campaigning for her brother, Rahul Gandhi to be the Prime Minister for 2014 Lok Sabha elections. The act itself reflects a sense of self sacrifice on her part to uphold the integrity of the Gandhi family. As much as I would love Rahul Gandhi to be the next PM, he is also disturbingly single. And majority of the Indian janta are family oriented people, who still believes that a man becomes more responsible only through marriage. So unless Rahul Baba decides to tie a knot and actually prove that he can balance his family and country with equal stride, chances of him sitting in that chair are pretty feeble. Besides that strain of DNA is too good to get wasted, it has to replicate(sans the Arnold Schmucker way!).

Long story short, domination as a leadership style is becoming less and less popular. There is a new growing appreciation for traits that women use to keep families together and to organize volunteers to unite and make change in the shared life of communities. These newly admired leadership qualities of shared leadership; nurturance and doing good for others are today not only sought after but also indeed needed to make a difference in the world. A feminine way of leading includes helping the world to understand and be principled about values that really matter.

Piggy is home!

2011-07-04T20:46:00.000+05:30

I m in a super cakelicious mood today. My guinea pig, ie. the little brother, has come home!! Now I can start my next batch crazy cake experiments. The old folks in the house couldn't stomach few of my earlier recipes, like the Masala Chai cake. Mom's verdict - a cake should taste like a cake, not basil soup. Honestly I hate to conform to the familiarity when the creative juices start flowing. And that happens to almost all spheres of my life. No wonder my kitchen lab was temporarily shut down.

But not anymore. My iron-stomach guinea pig is here! Its great to have someone like that in the family. He happily gobbles down my experiments with food. Most were good(as I would like to believe it), and others were bad. And He survived them all.

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Anyways, Delhi-Belly dekh li? Omg, it was filthy yet fun. A movie you will love to hate, or hate to love, whichever suits you better. Not for faint hearted, puritans and old people. Right from the first gaali to the last scene in the car(crazy and unpredictable), iss movie ne toh censor waalon ki vaat laga di! Did I like it? I loved it. The movie was like a chaata(slap) in the face of all the hypocrite moviemakers who does nothing but 'clean' cute and peppy love stories, giving the Indian youth a role model loser image. Guess what, we are not like that!
This movie champions everything tabooed here - incessant use of F-word, sleazy songs, some very graphic use of desi abuse, tiny bits of dry humping and muff diving (the prudish strain of DNA still lingers, give us some of more time. We are only one or two movie away from the actual hump-de-bump show), and lots of toilet humor. This movie maybe no Hangover 2, but the brilliant ensemble did a better job than Zach Galifianakis and the weener jokes. My only dissapointment, Imran Khan's look. I know the role demanded Tashi to have a unshaven look, but I m so used to Imran's cute take-me-home look. I mean he is the kind of guy you can introduce to your mom. But first look at Tashi, and I was like, that facial hair has to go(Even his on-screen girlfriend complained about it, but completely for different purpose). Vijay Raj as the uber-cool gangster with his comical gang of goons and their torture regimes (ass-cracker, hello?) made me fall out of the chair. In short, Abinay Deo's nonchalant direction is quite admirable. He doesn't try hard to shock and awe you, or just drive you crazy with riots of laughter. But the turn of events kinnda kick you in the gut. You can try, but you cannot just not laugh.

This is no cakewalk!

2011-06-14T08:59:00.003+05:30

Hello Blogdosts! I seem to have vanished from this page for quite sometime. But kya karu? I was busy with my latest muse. Baking cakes. Just baked a chocolate-orange cake today morning at 5!! In my defense, there were frequent power cuts last evening and I couldn't bake it. Hence I didn't sleep properly, as I dreamed of the frosting design and the ingredients in my sleep. so before hitting the gym at 6, I had to bake it. And it makes me happy that my parents had slices of freshly baked cake with their morning tea. Yay!

Ever since I have discovered my newfound baking skills(since last post), I have been at my best obsessive-impulsive baking spree. Checking up new recipes on the net,and trying them out in the evening everyday - my kitchen now smells like a pastry shop. Oh yes, I love it! In my defense, Father's Day is around the corner. And papa loves my baking goodies, hence I plan to dedicate my best cake to him. But of course, mom has begged me to stop, because they are too delicious for her to resist. And they just add up to her ever increasing waistline. How I wish my little brother was home this time of the year? Come home soon, ok kiddo? There is cake-o-mania in the house right now. And I need you to finish up my experiments! Because as much as I love baking cakes, I have a habit of shying away from sugar myself.

Anyways, back to Father's Day baking plan, I want to give a shot to fresh fruit cakes. I specially find them complex. The fruit can't get gooey or too dried up. It just have to lock in the right amount of moisture. Which reminds me, a moist-super creamy cake would be the best.

What do you think?

The Virginity Fiasco

2011-06-04T12:59:00.001+05:30

Madhuri Banerjee's virgin book "Losing Virginity and other Dumb Ideas" is a big flop in fiction writing. It lacks creativity, besides flow and spunk in the narration at certain parts of the book. Thanks to the dumb book review by Times of India (The book starts off as a chicklit, goes on to become one of those M&B romantic tales and finally ends in Kaveri’s spiritual contentment very Paulo Coelho-esque..seriously?!?!), it was a mistake buying and then completing it in one sitting. Only cliche´d dialogues and plots sprinkled all over the book, it was a typical B-grade Indian writer literature. In one of her interviews, the writer quoted "I wanted to use the word ‘virginity’ on the cover of an Indian novel because it has never been done before. It opens up a stream of consciousness that can lead to dialogue." That was really a cheap shot at publicity, because even the love scenes in the book were mediocre and lack-lusture. Indian writers are really terrible at writing sex scenes. But the book did live upto its title of having plain "dumb ideas". Just to prove the adventurous creativity of the writer, she makes the protagonist have sex in the beach, the washroom and then finally in a hot air balloon.(Can she get any more typical?!?!) The plots were just pages out of Cosmo and similar glossies.

Not to mention the whole sob story of a single 30 year old lonely yet "intellectual" woman. Its really sad to see how these writers portray woman in their 30s in such poor light. From my recent research on Indian woman writers, there is this whole genre of chick-lit which have very similar protagonists - 30, single, pseudo-independent metropolitan women who likes to go "dutch" even on dates yet desperately seeks a serious relationship. Enters the Prince Charming a.k.a the Great Emancipator or the Source of All Life -sexy, sauve, impeccable table manners and over-the-top bedside manners(sic!). Even the ogre tales sound much more realistic than these fantasy concocted men.

But lets not forget, the biggest selling plot of all times - the emotionally abused woman, how she overcomes the "love-hurdles" and then becomes the lady Buddha with all the enlightenment on men, love and all that bullshit. This is how all the books written by this genre of woman writers goes.

Chapter 1: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Chapter 2: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Chapter 3: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Last before the Final Chapter: So after 99 chapters of emosanal attyachar, victim finally dumps the "bad guy". The fact that it look the protagonist a whole book to dump a guy, shows who is the dumb one.

Final Chapter: The victim now attains the wisdom of Oprah. THE END.

I hate when women loves to wallow in tales of abuse. What happened to the breed of smart, witty protagonists who loves to challenge any situation at hand with great spurts of enthusiasm? They say that there are only seven basic plots in the world of human affairs. And that all stories are simply re-arrangements of these very same plots. Well, when it comes to these female authors, there is usually only one plot.

And we all know what it is.

Sex, Lies and the "Le Perv"

2011-05-27T18:09:00.000+05:30

Birds do it, bees do it, and men in power do it, it appears – yet again – with extravagant abandon. The french came up with the notion of droit du seigneur, the special sexual liberties that the ruling class can enjoy. Take a look at the avalanche of incidents making headlines recently. All the 'Le Perv's have suddenly become 'Le Idiot-Savant's. Just imagine the elite Rhodes scholar assumed that anything in White House goes unnoticed, unrecorded or unrepeated. Or the disgraced ex-IMF chief being publicly warned in 2007 by equally devious French Prime Minister to "avoid taking the elevator alone with interns. France cannot permit a scandal". What about you, Mr. PM?? Not to forget Arnie's lovechild, Tiger Wood's porn-star addiction, Berlusconi's lurid "bunga-bunga" parties etc. Closer to home, we have a shiny example in Shiney Ahuja. Whats wrong with these powerful men ??

I m pretty disappointed with you guys. You are supposed to be shrewd, intelligent, and definitely discreet! Yes, I do understand that with greater power comes greater zipper issues (sic!). Blame it on the flow of blood in the wrong direction, a wife here and a wife there with few mistresses in the middle is not enough. I am not a feminazi, who is here to wallow about the tales of abuse inflicted on your poor victims. Nor am I interested in any transatlantic culture war - the famous European indifference to the private lives of their leaders Vs the American Anglo-Saxon puritan stance on the same. Honestly its very difficult even to sympathize with wives like Anne Sinclair, who told a Paris newspaper that she was "rather proud" of DSK's reputation as a ladies' man, a chaud lapin (hot rabbit) nicknamed as the Great Seducer. "It's important," she said, "for a man in politics to be able to seduce." Nor do I feel sorry for Maria Shriver who defended her husband's izzat in his 2003 campaign, while he was deceiving both her and her voters khullam-khulla!

What matters the most is prudence, a sense that anyone who has the previledge of power over others, should be discouraged from destroying themselves and their families. Power can be the ultimate aphrodisiac. With power comes both opportunity and confidence, and with confidence comes a sense of sexual entitlement. But just because an individual is a public figure, his/her bad behavior should never be overlooked or covered up. Any skills they might have developed for self-control earlier will quickly and easily deteriorate with slight indulgence. Hence I blame the society, the family and the enablers with a personal or political interest in protecting these "sick men" to the point of covering up their follies, indiscretions and crimes. We are the actual 'Le Perv's.

T-F-L had a summer getaway

2011-05-17T20:22:00.001+05:30

Just got back from my weekend getaway Funny I should call that. People travel to nearby places for the weekend, I travelled around 2000 kms for my retreat. And just the weekend was not enough. See here why. :)

Ma, Thank you!

2011-05-04T20:13:00.002+05:30

This year Mother's Day falls on my birthday. I couldn't think of any better way to start the celebration than thanking the woman responsible for my existence. Thank you Ma. I m what I m today because of you.

She is and always will be the most important woman of my life. The woman who shared with me not just her flesh and blood, but name too - our names are the variations of the Indian super Goddess - Shakti. No wonder we have our share of occasional shouting matches - too many Goddesses in the house, as my dad puts.

Women,as they grow older, often complains "Oh no! I have become my mother". For me it would rather be, "Thank God, I have become my mother!" But reaching that status quo is not easy. You see, I have a supermom. She is a doctor and a successful entrepreneur, a doting wife and a loving mother of 3, excellent singer and a fashionista of her own accord. She has the talent and patience to design her own attire, whenever she is not busy saving lives or feeding us! A beautiful woman - inside and out, Ma has always been my hero.

Whenever I come across the quote, "The strength of a woman can carry the weight of the world", I can totally visualize Ma, and the way she deals with the trials and tribulations of her life. What impresses me is how she manages to emanate strength from every molecule of her being. Its the same strength that helps me face my troubles. She has always been my beacon through the darkest of nights. The ardent cheerleader yet my toughest critic, Ma knows me better than anyone else. Maybe thats what being a mother is. But for me, she is more than that. She is my first pillar of strength.

Ma has always supported my decisions. Well maybe not the reckless ones. For example she has been bludgeoning me emotionally not to get involved with water sports in Goa. Sometimes I think Ma loves to worry a lot. Or maybe it could be an occupational hazard of being not only a mom, but also a doctor. She feels that something nasty might happen to her kids if she is not around. Well I have tried to rationalize, argued, and finally begged her to stop worrying so much. And every time I get shushed up by her with, "You will know when you are a mother". Of course, there is no counter attack to that. They say a mother's love is the strongest and the purest of love that stays forever. Maybe worrying comes as easy as loving her kids, doesn't matter if I m 5 or 45. But the best part is - she never holds me back from anything, even if she knows its might not be the right thing for me. She lets me make my own mistakes. She lets me fly. And if I fall in my flight, I know for sure that she will always be there to pick me up and help me start all over again. I love you Ma, for having faith in me.

And this is my ode to you. Thank you for the roots. Thank you for the wings.

Its that time of the year

2011-05-01T10:09:00.001+05:30

Can’t wait to be 25 in a week!! I absolutely go gaga over birthdays-celebrating mine as well as others. Cakes, candles, gifts, treats and a total recall of the all shit done last year… I simply love the frills and ruffles of this occasion. But this birthday has more reasons to be special.

a)I enter the first quarter of my life (Someone once said, when you are 25 everyone will stop advising you..phew finally!)
b)I get to celebrate it with my cul-de-sac group in Goa! Gonna dance my way into 25..woot!woot!
c)I got accepted in my dream MS program. I never imagined I could make it.
d)Leaving home soon(or, rather running away) and happy to be on my own again. (Living with parents has its own perks, but for me, last 6 months was a personal hell)
e)Physically, I got my mojo back. It feels great to get conditioned and be back in the game!
f)My financial condition is still in the gutter. But this time, I m a poor in a zen-like state of life.
g)Emotionally, I m more sure of myself now. All my wants and needs have been neatly separated in rows and columns, never to be mixed and confused again!

But the only downside of being 25 is - marriage, that too arranged! It’s the curse of the Indian society. The assortment of over-zealous parents, relatives and nosy neighbors kindda makes life of a 25 year old singleton hell. Its not like I don’t have faith in this constitution. But everything has its place and time. For me, in the next 2-3 years I don’t see myself getting hitched to a guy and then be the CEO of his DNA. This is the “me-time” of my life, where I want to completely devote my energy and passion for my personal-growth. How difficult is it for the elders to understand this? Bah,humbug!

Anyways, leaving home and everything familiar behind eliminates the whole marriage scenario for good. Because I think I deserve more from this life. 24 saw me through a roller-coaster phase of my life. And there was ruin. But turns out, it was a gift in disguise. I got challenged to test my own limits, get out of my comfort zone and face the scary unknown. Even though I was kicking and screaming then, I kindda of like what it eventually did to me. I had my fair share of lemons thrown at me..but its tequila time now!

And I learned the most important lesson till date.

"You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find- you get what you need" ~ The Rolling Stones

Why India needs 7 star prison facilties

2011-04-27T13:40:00.000+05:30

While different countries are coming up with pompous state-of-the-art designs for buildings to mark their economic, technical and political hold in the world, India should focus on upgrading its prison facilities. Why?

With the recent "arrested development" of the country's corrupted Who's-Who, there is no dum in the prison facilities like Tihar. India's prisons now houses A-list inmates like ex-cabinet ministers - A Raja and Suresh Kalmadi, besides business honchos like Shahid Balwa, Vinod Goenka, Sanjay Chandra, Ramalinga Raju, and several other high-profile "chors and luteraas". A business-class is now a must in prisons. For you never know who will grace the prisondom hereafter(I m pretty sure Tamil Nadu's first family is next on the list)!

I m not sure what punishment is suitable for disgracing the nation. But these high-profile goons should never be let out of prison in their lifetime. Infact all the corrupted rich should invest in something called "prison-plan" rather than the usual retirement plans. The prison plan money can be used to build grand correction facilities that will include spas, beauty salons, gyms,presidential suites, honeymoon suites for couple miscreants(Talwars, anyone?), wine and good food served à la carte...infact a Hilton at Prison is not at all a bad idea! Atleast the black money in their Swiss bank accounts can be used to have a better prison life. Also nothing good can ever come out of blood money; even when used for society's cause it will carry the stain. Hence it should be perished with the owner.

I personally do not support crime and corruption, but sometimes one resorts to weirdest of ideas with the hope of keeping the neighborhood clean. If a 7 star correction facility can attract these high profile goons out of the streets, then why not? Maybe tomorrow the common man might get a chance to live in a much less corrupted society!

Love in the times of Obesity

2011-04-25T12:50:00.003+05:30

"Lets grow fat together" sounds really romantic and cute....but only in Hallmark cards! Because after sometime it becomes "lets grow fat and unhappy together"(courtesy: end of a year)..which might have the worst possible outcome of "till obesity do us part".

Sounds selfish, eh? I m sure I ticked all the ladies reading this post. You are possibly arguing this very second with -"this can't possibly happen to me!"

But it is happening. Unfortunately. Research shows not only are married people more likely to become obese than those who are single, but young people who are in committed relationships tend to pack on the pounds too. Obviously staying single can't be the solution. Nor picking on your partner is!

Often, I hear most of my girlfriends complain how their respective boyfriends criticizes them for gaining weight. My only question for the girls - why do you let yourself face that amount of self loathing? There are only two solutions for that - a) dump the guy. b) Get enrolled in a fitness program. Not to impress anyone, but yourself. Staying fit is a serious commitment. It should not start or end with respect to your love life.

As for guys who are seriously concerned with their girlfriends' health, you should actively participate in it too and help her. Criticism alone will not help, it will just make things worse. Do not expect her to go on a salad diet, while you are enjoying your munchies with your beer diet. It doesn't work that way. Amy Gorin, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Connecticut, published a study in 2008 that showed if one partner participates in a weight-loss program, the unenrolled partner tends to lose about 5 lb. As a couple if you support each other, you both can lose pounds and stay fit - how about some "Lets grow healthy and happy together" times?

Now girls, when I mentioned staying fit, I did not mean unhealthy and artificial ways to stay slim. The worst, even though quickest and easiest method to lose weight is, dieting. I can rant on and on how much harm you do to your body by excessive dieting. Just to fit in your little black dress or get married in a week, you need not get suicidal with your body. What I have observed is that, dieting often leaves you with stretch marks in places you don't want and a funnel-shaped body. But my scariest red-alert for you is - "Gravity: This time its personal."(TMI ??!)

As for the singletons dealing with weight issues, you guys need a workout buddy. She's the one who'll force you to exercise away those extra calories. She'll motivate you to run - "just one more lap" or do "a few more crunches". She can be worse than a task master, but when you see the stunning effect it's had on you, you know exactly who to thank. In this case, its your friendly neighborhood T-F-L!

Happy burning those calories!!

Tongue-Fu now has a face!

2011-04-24T00:08:00.001+05:30

And a new blog too! Stalk the traveller in me in my new travel blog here

On my face..Finally I outgrew my upside-down blog image. And now its the real me. More like coming out of iPhoto closet. And I have to blame my new "going to be 25" avatar, for this. Oh how excited I am to enter the first quarter of my life!(more on that later). Plus I recently got a fresh lease of life.(promise to talk about it soon!!!) I guess 25 will add a whole new KISS KISS BANG BANG chapter in my life.

Follow me as I unfold this chapter!

The Great Indian Disease..and why we don't need a cure

2011-03-25T16:25:00.000+05:30

"Worse than dengue or polio or tuberculosis. They should vaccinate us against it while we're born." ~The Zoya Factor.

Yes, that's cricket fever for you! And I don't think medical science will ever discover a cricket resistant drug and curb the ongoing insanity among the Indians. Why should they?

Indians hate Indians, most of the time. But last night a billion brown hearts dhak-dhakked manically in unison. Knocking the stuffing out of the three times world champion Australia, atleast bonded us over a common enemy in the cricket world. And I m glad the historic win took place in none other than the much communally clashed Gujrat.

Not that I support violence, but its great to see a passionate India once in a while. Generally we are a bunch of overly cautious and accomodating types. But when it comes to cricket, we surely make HBO's Spartacus run for their money. There might not be the graphic violence and explicit sex, but hey, the atmosphere got charged with high levels of testosterone. A possible baby boom might have even occurred after the last night's match. After all the nation did explode into a massive, riotious celebration.

My facebook homepage was flooded with victory messages, most of them sounding like warcries sugar-coated with gaalis. Blame it on the heat of the moment. I too did shout, whistled and made some unlady-like dance moves infront of the TV screen, much to my mom's horror. But what amazed me the most is that my Indian friends abroad were equally excited about the win, if not more, like the rest of my friends here. This proves one thing. You may take an Indian out of India, but you can never take cricket out of an Indian!

Come 30th March. India Vs.Pakistan won't be just a match. Its drama, tragedy, emotion..its like twin siblings with bleeding umbilical chords. There will be heartache, ulcers, loss in stupid bets followed by possible suicides, and definitely a plunge in the world's productivity that day...and the pitch will bleed BLUE once again!

Sunday morning thoughts..the Physics of the Quest

2010-12-12T08:35:00.004+05:30

When I woke up today, I just had two desires : coffee and blogging. The first was easy to satisfy. But the latter..not so much. Its been ages since I wrote last. I have been denying myself the sheer pleasure of writing. It was like being on a writing-abstinence, an act of blasphemy in my blog shrine. Anyway, my original desire to wake up early on a Sunday morning and have coffee while blogging is turning to be a disastrous affair. By end of the third line, I burnt my tongue with my piping hot fix. Not what I exactly had in mind for this morning, but still fairly happy nonetheless.

Speaking of this idea, I suppose I feel quite the same of where I'm at in life right now. Life is so funny that way. You just never know where you'll end up. The ancients used to call it “fatum” or destiny, as we know it. This reminds me of the book I read recently, Eat, pray, love (by Elizabeth Gilbert), and let me tell you blog dost, this is not a typical chick lit( even though the tagline boasts of, one woman’s search for everything). Its more of an example on how to deal transformations in life. There are many idiologies in this book that I neither accept nor can relate to, since the ingénue was a 30 something divorcee. But there was this one short monologue towards the end of the movie, based on this book:

"I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call 'The Physics of The Quest' -- a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: 'If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared - most of all - to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself... then truth will not be withheld from you.' Or so I've come to believe. I can't help but believe it, given my experience."

Don’t ask me why, but I was deeply moved by this line. Maybe because I feel like this is all I ever do. If you have been on such a journey for long time, it is really easy to feel like you're running in circles... that you're simply going nowhere, that you just run and run, chasing after whatever seems to be the right thing for you at the time. Being in this grey zone is not that bad. But do you know what is more annoying? People asking me almost incessantly, “What do you want to do next in life?” And then I realize I am in serious trouble here. I really don’t know where I see myself year from now, let alone life.

Going back to our protagonist of the book, she keeps repeating this catchy Italian phrase "Attravarsiamo", which means lets cross over. Something she did to follow what her heart wants. Easier said than done concept, because crossing over in reality often leads to transgression of many norms of the society. But when I do crossover, I hope to find it although manifested in different forms-to be happy and content in life.

The greatest story ever written: PART 3, What if..

2010-06-10T09:51:00.003+05:30

Every once in a while you meet that person in your life, you wish you hadn't met. 'coz they enter your life like a breeze and leave like a raging storm. Sadly I met someone and realized it much later, how that one collateral damage left me emotionally mishapen.

So one fine morning I wake up, put a gun to my head and ask, "What if we never met? What if I never returned that smile? Would I be at a much happier place today?" They say a "butterfly effect" is next to a death wish. But if those wings actually flapped, I am not sure if any of the Fijian islands would be hit by tsunami, but my life would be short of one.

I met Jim on a Sunday morning. I saw him when I walked out of the church. His smile was like a Hawaiian sunrise, and made by heart do a Hula. Only there was a small problem. You see, Jim was dead. Blame it on that bright sunny Sunday, I didn't notice when he walked out of that cemetery...

I know you don't believe me, but this is my story.

I am Tom and I am a fucking retard.

Being 24

2010-05-08T19:53:00.002+05:30

I turn 24 today..woohoo! Unlike my girlfriends, who has issues with the addition of a new candle in their cakes of life..I am not at all ashamed of growing older(although I prefer being a bit more wiser!). Maybe ‘coz I haven’t got my wrinkles yet? Well I can wait till 40 to crib about it. Anyways today I am going to celebrate my 23 years of existence. Not trying to dramatize the drama here, but the journey was really exciting. I mean I’ve learned a lot in these years. I could almost compare it to a sleazy Bollywood movie- there was drama, action, romance, tragedy! I couldn’t ask for more. I would really like to give a big hug and a kiss to that scriptwriter up there for making each moment of my full of surprises. One moment I m on top of the world, the next, I am on a free fall. There was never a moment or one particular situation that remained static for me. Keeps me at the edge of my seat, and so I end up eating more than I could chew. Call me greedy, but I have come in terms with myself of going to live every moment to the fullest. ‘coz there is this huge Billboard stuck in my head which reads, “ You never know whats gonna hit u next? Stay tuned for the next big shit, baby!”

Now this shit has been both good and bad. Remember, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger?? I have learnt, the hard way, that every kick below the belt may take your breathe away, but so does the “special” moments. Either way you just can’t stop breathing if they cease to exist. That’s what you get for 23 years of being me! And I am glad it gave me nothing, but a new-found independence. I, no longer, am part of the Declaration of Dependence that I signed 10 years ago. As a 14 year old kid, I carried around a huge baggage of doubts and fears. But the more I see, the more I learn to get rid of my emotional crippledom. And finally after all these years, I think I can part me of getting cured. Yes, old fears do lead to news one but I guess life has taught me to sober down. So my next free fall would be more like spreading my wings and say “aane de”.

Its amazing to see how much my life has changed past 10 years. Talk about being on a topsy-turvy ride. But then it wouldn’t have been possible without all the people who had been, are and going to be part of my life. Thank you all! Its worth mentioning that the thank-you even goes out to those who could no longer be a part of this celebration called my-life. I have no regret or remorse knowing you all, ‘coz if you didn’t leave me then, I wouldn’t be able to welcome the new wonderful people to enter my life now. And trust me, this is not the 12-step program I am going through, its just the downside of being happy! And I have learnt to fight for happiness. But my biggest Thank-you goes to one woman, who was actually responsible for making my 24 happen.. but more on her tomorrow. ;)

But whats its worth, birthday is one day when I can actually have the cake and eat it too. Plus all the 1001 FB notifications have taught me two things: People cares, and I am getting old coz I ran outta breath saying Thank you’s :P

P.S. I don’t feel a day older than 16 though!

The greatest story ever written: PART 2, MIRROR

2010-03-18T15:07:00.005+05:30

I try not to stare at her, but those black eyes stare back at me.

what if she finds out??

hey you!

oh no, not now..

me?

yes you! what are you hiding?

umm, nothing.

what a lousy liar! you do realize you can't hide anything from me.

wasn't trying to..

so, whats eating u tonight?

well, i was only thinking..

oh, keep those crazy voices out of your head! they never did you any good

you telling me this?? you must be crazy..

..and you are stupid. Aren't you still regretting the last time you listened to them?

but..

but what? now u r stuck in your own golden cage

how dare you say that!! my husband won't like it..

hahaha..like he really cares.

yes he does.. he is only busy.

busy? stop lying to yourself.. all he cares about is his job, his jaugar and maybe his girlfriend..

enough! and leave me alone..

seriously, do you even love him?

none of your business..

sometimes i wonder, if you ever loved anyone of them?

yes i did, and still do..

waitamin.. you can't possibly love all four of them at the same time?

well, i have my reasons..

..and i have all the time in the world.

well.. if one showed me the truth, the second one taught me to love. The third one was fun to be with, and the fourth gave me stability.

yeah, the way i see it..the first one, asshole. the second, so full of shit. the third, boy toy. the fourth, credit card without limit.

stop it!... see, thats why i hate telling you stuff.

and yet you always come back to me...so, whom do you love the most?

oh, its difficult for me to pick one

why ? are you afraid of the answer?

maybe.. i cant face the truth..

but honey, the truth has been staring at you...the whole time!

The greatest story ever written: PART 1, DEATH

2010-03-14T06:25:00.003+05:30

somewhere in an old dingy building in downtown. while the city stays awake, as a mind slowly goes into deep oblivion...

its working. i can feel it in my blood. it will be slow and excruciating. but somehow it makes me terribly happy. i m a bird in flight. and this is not a dream. but if i sleep tonight, this dream will be over. my dream, her dream.

oh, how i wish she was here to witness this moment. i must show it to her. she must know, her faith actually worked. like a firefly's prayer on a dark night.

yes. it is a dark night. can it be an omen or just a figment of my twisted imagination? haha..twists! always loved them..they have always invigorated my frozen thoughts.

thoughts. now i m waiting for that final thought looking at the ceiling as the old fan creeks above. voices. i hear voices. not in my mind, but my neighbors' as they fight over money.

fight. i believe i fought many silly battles. they molded and marred me, like the clay in a potter's wheel. but i am willing to lose my last battle. for there is no joy than losing for one thing you love.

love. never understood why so many complications hover over this four lettered word. when it is the first n simplest act a human knows.

act. everything real is nothing but a surreal act. Maya. an illusion that ends with death.

death. an end to everything. but for me, its the beginning of an end. for i shall rise from the shackles of life as my mission is over.

mission....

Emosanal Attyachar

2010-01-12T17:14:00.002+05:30

Well the other day I had the great misfortune of watching the reality show “emosanal attyachar”. Since flipping through the TV channels has become my latest hobby, I guess there is no scope of complaining much either. Coming back to the show, this is a very cheap unworthy version of Steven Sodenberg’s “sex, lies and videotape”, minus the sex. If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, contact the TV crew and they will prove it. They will record the suspect’s infidelity in a videotape and show it to the devastated boyfriend/girlfriend. All this will be aired on TV, plus the mayhem that follows. The viewers being sadistic and bored in their own frustrating lives actually enjoy the public humiliation of the “cheater” and the agony of the “cheated”. “Achha hua, the bastard/bitch deserves it” is all they can say. Its sad because they are the same people who champion “love” and search for “love” their whole lives. But when the bubble of this over-rated “feeling” bursts, they simply condemn it. Hypocrites!..We all are.

So I decided to do a small pathology on “love”. This is something I observed in my “quest” to find out “where love went wrong”. I maybe wrong or absolutely right! Just try to see it my way before throwing the hate bombs at me.

Why do people fall in love? I think its mainly to kill their loneliness. Strike one! reason to fall in love. Nobody wants to be alone. Everybody wants somebody. And in the haste to fill their “empty cup”, they get into relationships. No wonder “cheating” becomes a second nature. After all, the very root of love is poisoned. You don’t love your woman, you are simply using her not to be lonely, and neither she loves you. You both suffer from the same disease of “loneliness” and reduce each other into things to escape this inner hell (Remember Britney singing “My loneliness is killing me..”. Well it really did kill her.) No doubt first few months you both will be on seventh heaven, but when the “commitment” monster comes along, the relationship will get ugly. Love never grows out of fear. Fear begets only more fear. Suddenly they can’t stand each other and eventually will start looking for greener, better pasture. Or lead a more frustrating life by getting married and covering their unhappiness with the façade of “love”.

What about “made for each other” concept? That’s Strike two! reason to fall in love. Nobody is made for anyone. This is only in our heads. For example, Jack carries the image of his mother as the model woman, and Jill thinks her dad as the model man. So Jack and Jill goes round the hill to fetch “the one”. Unfortunately, they took the imprints of their respective models in their minds. When Jack met Jill, his brain cried out loud “she is the one! She is the one!” even Jill’s brain shouts ”he is your soulmate”. So, the brains analyzed and then finalized that the blueprints match the model. This is not a lame hypothesis but a Freudian fact. You fall in love with your head. Don’t believe me? Read this . Now Jack and Jill “falls in love” and gets married. And then something went wrong. One fine morning, Jack wakes up to realize Jill no longer fits the ideal he carries in his head. Now the trouble is multiplied ‘coz even Jill feels “he is not the man”. No wonder, Jack and Jill came tumbling down with an ugly divorce and broken hearts. 90% of the marriages die because of this and the rest 10% live miserably with the hope that “someday they will change”. But in rare occasions few marriages are successful. Wanna know whose? The one between a sadist and a masochist. One loves to torture and the other loves to be tortured; together they make the happiest couple. Both are psychopaths and they love to live a life of torture. Otherwise every marriage will fail, if imprints were the reason why the couple came together in the first place.

So what is love? Love is belongingness. Strike three! reason to fall in love. Love is like a ladder - from sex to super consciousness. At the lowest rung, love is nothing but, power politics. It’s like sugar-coated politics that exists between husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. Poets, musicians, movies talk about great love but its all about a desire how to exploit the other. No wonder possessiveness and jealousy is an intrinsic part of love. Your over protectiveness is not that you love that person more, its simply your insecurity that you will lose that person. Nobody wants to lose their favorite thing. That’s why love is 99% of bitterness and only 1 % of sugar that you coat on top. We often come across the term “object of affection”. Humans, by nature, always need to posses that one thing they love. Ironically, these days people are falling more in love with their pets, their cars, clothes etc. After all, to be in love with human is utter hell. It’s a continuous conflict -nagging, always at each other’s throat. And when this kind of love turns into marriage, its definitely World War III. So please meditate over a few of Murphy’s sutras before you do the“I do”:

1. 1. Its good to be married occasionally.

2. 2. Marriage is a three-ringed circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer-ring.

3. 3. Marriage may make the world go round, but so does a punch in the nose.

4. 4.Saving a marriage from divorce: do not show up at your wedding.

5. 5.A woman is God’s second mistake -man is the first, obviously- the two wrongs together don’t make a right.

6. 6.A woman is entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of the “bakra”.(ok, I made that up but it still makes sense ;))

So go home today and take a good look at your partner(or their picture) and ask why you “love” him/her. Is it because you have a hidden/subconscious agenda? Or is it because you don’t really need a reason to be in love with them? And this is the Ugly truth, my friend. Don’t you think life is too short to live a Beautiful lie??

In my defense, I would say “only fools rush in”, fall in love and commit the same mistakes all over again. But you know why? ‘Coz those freaking moments of being in “love”, will be some of the best moments in your life-even if it happened at the very last moment of your life. So stay foolish, stay happy.

“NAKED SEARCH” AT HEATHROW…. Umm, not cool!

2010-01-04T21:55:00.002+05:30

Flying to US via Heathrow? Welcome to the latest 3D- full body scanners! Talk about virtually being stripped at the price of air travel. The scanner apparently see through the clothes but has no effect if anything is hidden inside the body. What happened to the good ole X-ray machines?? Won’t it be hilarious, looking at a smiling skeleton air–kissing or waving at the camera? Could definitely spread some much- needed laugh. But I guess the security won’t be complaining much either with the new body scanners.

Yeah, I know I am ranting like a village rustic about downside of technology (upside for anyone?). Anyways, if I get much-delayed visa (I know, they did it again!), I will be flying the British Airways back to Philly. And that’s why the horror of the scanner! Its not like I am hiding something, but I am very uncomfortable climbing a conveyor belt and lying like luggage. It’slike living my own perpetual nightmare. If only that Nigerian shit head didn’t carry out the orders of that equally dumb organization. Which brings forth another uncomfortable procedure. Passengers with Muslim names such as Khan can be detained and questioned. Not only this will be humiliating for them, but also create an ill feeling between communities. This gets me to think why I was double-checked before boarding my flight back to India? Was it because I am brown or because I don’t have a Christian name? Funny, because the newspapers are currently buzzing with headlines having an American-Pakistani name, David Coleman Hadley. Now I am thinking hard, but laughing even harder.

I totally understand that people in the West are currently paranoid with the terrorist threats. But do you think it is justified that someone in the American embassy decides that I shouldn’t attend school on time? Of course, you can’t question the authority about this recurring nightmare. Just because they may have some “doubts” about my profile, not only will I miss an entire term of coursework, but also four months of research. I mean you go for your visa interview with all the required documents (Mind you, everything is legitimate), you won’t be asked any question, but simply given a green paper saying the visa is delayed due to “administrative processing”. You then answer a series of questions online and wait for 4-5 weeks, depending on the workload of the embassy.This is not a one-time thing, it happened twice! So my friends have come up with some of the stupidest and funniest theories behind my “delayed-visa” mystery.

Anyways, my biggest and only console is that I get to spend some with my family, but how long? The happiness changes to boredom after few weeks. No work and all play makes T-F-L a lousy writer(as you can see it!).

It take 3(idiots) to tango!

2009-12-31T08:29:00.004+05:30

Yes..I am too bitten by the Idiotmania! (Maina ko Mania ho gaya..hehehe) As Sid says, "What an end to the year!" No doubt, kudos to Mr. Aamir Perfectionist Khan and the cast, but I would like to thank two two other guys who made it happen.

Director Rajkumar Hirani for one. The man drove the nation frenzy with "Jaddu ki Jhappi"(Magical hug) earlier and now "All izz well". True, Aamir co-directed "3 idiots", but thanks to Hiranisaab for taking this project. Seriously, Amritsar se Amrica hil gaya!(oops, SRK don't kill me) . I mean who comes out with philosophy like, Jab Life Ho Out of Control, Dil Pe Haath Rakh Ke Bol All Iz Well...(when life goes out of control, put your hand on your heart and say, All is well) . We Indians are very emotional people, and the director did a good job in touching our hearts with some of the best one-liners in the movie. I mean where in world, can you make the entire audience cheer, clap and sing in a movie? Its was definitely the Veni Vidi Vici moment for the entire cast of 3 idiots. Yes, a great end to 2009.

Last but not the least, I like to thank Chetan Bhagat, the mind who conspired and then inspired the creation of 3 idiots. If 5 point someone didn't happen, Bollywood would not have witnessed this Idiotmania. Apparently, the writer was not happy 'coz they didn't mention his name in the movie credits. Agreed, the movie was not a complete adaptation of the book but the storyline was somewhat borrowed. It was really unfair not to mention his name. It was his brainchild afterall. Chetan, koi nai..your fans acknowledge your sheer genius.

With this, I will take a bow and thank Bollywood for giving the nation a reason to laugh, cry,sing and dance together thereby somewhat creating a diversion from the depressing anti-elements news around. India, tussi great ho... for everything!

This being my last post for the year 2009, I would also like to thank all my blog homies for reading my blog and giving their valuable comments. I have/had a great time knowing y'all. Hope "All izz well" with you guys and Have a Rocking 2010! =)

Follow you into the dark

2009-12-12T05:16:00.004+05:30

He pulled the car into the driveway. She ran down the stairs to let him in.

It will be alright. Breathe.Now, smile. And it did radiate the room as she opened the door.

...I knew it will be alright, that drop of sun never fails... And he smiled back.

"Happy Anniversary, honey!"

"Happy Anniversary, love. Wow! that was quite a hug. Is it like my last?"

Yes baby. "C'mon, can't a wife hug her husband without being questioned?"

"Sorry my bad..You look beautiful."

"Well, thank you. So how was your day?"

"It was bloody hectic, now that Christmas is around the corner. The boss is making us take extra shifts."

"Well you can always tell your boss that you married his daughter. And you need to be at home early."

"...so that my colleagues make fun of me?"

"C'mon, they are simply jealous. After all, you got the boss's daughter. Not them."

"We will see."

"Hey why don't you take a shower, while I heat the dinner?"

"Nah, I am good. Lemme help you set the table-candles,music and wine, what say?

"Still wooing your wife after 5 years of marriage?"

" A man's gotta do what he gotta do to make his wife happy."

She laughed as she walked into the kitchen.

Few minutes later.

"Come.Dinner is served. "

"Hmm..it smells good."

"Trust me, it tastes even better. I used your mom's recipe."

"Did I say how amazing you are?I love you."

"I love you too."

"5 years, eh? Never thought I would get so lucky."

"Why don't you start eating before the food gets cold? We can sweet talk after that."

"Ummm...this is delicious. You sure its just my mom's recipe? Nothing extra?"

"Well it has my secret ingredient-Love."

"Cheers to that! Do you like the wine?"

"Its fantastic. Much better than the '99 vintage. Hey whats wrong?"

"My hand has gone numb."

"You ok?"

"My heart aches. Call the ambulance."

She smiles. "Not so soon, sweetheart."

"What have you done?"

"2 years. 2 bloody years you have been maintaining a secret bank account. When were you planning to leave me?" She sipped some more wine.

"Please call the ambulance. The money was for our future, for you and the kids."

"Don't you lie anymore! Ah! my heart..did you?" The glass slips from her hand.

"Your drink was poisoned too."

Suddenly they both bursts into fits of wild laughter.

"How did we get so good?"

"I am surprised that it still works after 5 years."

"Never thought we would kill each other the same way."

"It like you snatched the thoughts outta my mind."

"The same way you always took words from my lips."

"I love you. See you in another life, honey."

"I love you too. GoodBye for now."

Somewhere in the room, the music player starts playing...

"Love of mine some day you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark..."

What happens when you OD on someone?

2009-12-08T06:33:00.002+05:30

...its equally bad as when you OD on drugs. Helen Fisher tells you why . So is there actually a cupid or some kind of Magic, or just plain biology gone astray?

2009-12-06T22:15:00.001+05:30

Last night I had a revelation
Somehow I have to make you pay
It's all about manipulation
And what it takes to get my way
I don't believe in soft solutions
No one makes a fool of me
Without receiving retribution
No one hurts me and goes free

I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears
You'll never be the same, my friend
You're walking a line, it's a matter of time
You'll never rest easy again

I've got the power to bring you down

I've heard it said, to err is human
It's forgiveness that's divine
I thought about forgiving you, but
I want revenge, I want what's mine
I think it's time to settle scores now
It's time to set the record straight
You'll know it's coming, you won't know how
Or when, you'll have to watch and wait

I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears
You'll never be the same, my friend
You're walking a line, it's a matter of time
You'll never rest easy again

I've got the power to bring you down

You know, it feels intoxicating
To be intimidating
It's invigorating
To see you shaking

I've got the power to bring you down

You know something, you see it coming,
You know I will stop at nothing.”

You know you have too many guy friends when...

2009-11-23T05:01:00.005+05:30

1. You've spend many Saturday afternoons playing basketball in the sun instead of getting a pedicure or a manicure.

2. You never understand why girls maintain long nails.

3. Going to a spa or a beauty parlor seems to be a waste of time.

4.Never understood why there are so many types of dresses when jeans and tee are the best thing ever happened.

5.You have spend some rainy morning playing soccer in the muddy field with your buddies.

6.You think SAW VI is the coolest movie of the year.

7.You openly admit that you have seen porn when the girls you know, pretend they haven't and consider it to be a sin. And you NEVER question why guys like girl-on-girl action.

8.You enjoy fart jokes and laugh out loud at sex jokes, when girls think its inappropriate.

9.You know more swear words than your brother and can win any trivia on swearing!

10.You call everyone "Dude!", "Man","Maccha" etc. and mostly call your dad "Boss".

11.You hate flowers especially rose.

12. Love songs are a complete no-no. You'd rather listen to Led Zepp, Maiden, Aerosmith, Ozzy Osbourne,Slayer.

13. You prefer headbanging in a rock concert to waltzing.

14.You spend your childhood collecting Trump cards rather than collecting Barbies.

15. You looked like a boy in your teenage years.

16.You love your music loud.

17. You preferred Hardy boys to Nancy Drew.

18. You believe the movies Godfather and Fightclub have the answers to all your life problems.

19.Your mother questions your sexuality when she finds 3/4th of your phone list are guys and you are dating none.

20.You prefer martial arts class to piano lessons.

21.You hate romantic chick-flicks and probably slept off in the first 10 mins of Casablanca.

22.Nothing disgusting disgusts you anymore, 'coz you have seen, heard and discussed them all with your buddies.

23.You love Manga so much that you almost created few.

24.You spent your childhood climbing trees, walls or fences and scraping your knees eventually.

25.Everything is a game for you.

26.You believe riding a bike, bungee jumping, skydiving, rock climbing are the important stuff in life.

27.You despise soap operas and rather watch a comedy or a thriller.

28.You never understood the "Aww.." moments.

29.You hate soft toys and find it weird that some girls likes to sleep with them.

30.Pink is a disgusting color, black is cool.

31. You are allergic to the flowery over sweetened perfumes girls wear.

32.You wish you were on Fast and Furious or 300.

33. You talk loud and have a boisterous laugh.

34.You hate Chihuahuas and prefer a Labrador/Bulldog as a pet.

35.You practised WWE moves on your younger brother.

36.Your mother begged you not to buy anymore sneakers and try something more feminine for a change.

37.You don't understand why some girls watch the calories they eat.

38.You find it weird that girls complain not understanding guys-they are the simplest creatures of all, "What-you-see-is-what-you-get " is their motto.

39. You are someone with the extremes-either you "love" or "hate" something, there are no in-betweens.

40.You are selfish,rude,impractical and the most commitment-phobic girl ever known.

41.You can never date a guy without doubting his motives, 'coz your over-protective buddies have warned you way too much.

P.S. I feel lucky to have met all my guy friends and I have shared some of the great moments of my life with them. And I still believe being friends with guys is less complicated than with a girl!

Essential plot twists for bloggers

2009-10-23T23:13:00.003+05:30

The moment I start blogging a short fiction, the first thing that strikes me is The Plot..a solid one. I guess the same goes for my fellow homies who write some of the best short-yet-exciting stories. Here are some good tips for that great story you type out next time(But do I hear a, "These are the stories I would like 2 read."instead)
~So long, keep writing...love T-F-L

I did it my way

2009-09-28T01:49:00.003+05:30

Revolution Renaissance did justify my blog with their song, not to mention the awesome video of Kungfu-Panda I found, showcasing my favorite animated character of all time, Tigress. Its one character I can relate to very well.

Look at me
Do you see all the things
I want you, you to see?
You're telling me
Sure I know you so well?
But you just act when you are
Back against the wall

What is true, what is fake?
Everything that you make
Or you take, it's plain to see
Image wise, you're okay
But is there anything
Inside of you?

Hear me say:

I don't wanna do the things you say
I don't wanna play the game you play
I just wanna be myself
And walk the road without pretending
I just wanna live my life, be true
So many things there are that I will do
When I'm looking back the road
At least I can say: I did it my way

There you are once again telling
Me how the things all should be
And that I care far too much about
My art, 'cause you know they
Will never understand

I am me, I cannot be
What I'm not, I am real and I feel
But you can never stop, you forgot
'Cause no one's gonna tell
Me what to do

Why do single guys don't mingle?

2009-09-17T07:50:00.002+05:30

This seems to be a very serious issue with many of my guy friends and also, my baby brother(well he is 17, but still a kid for me!) Now this post is not about the so called oversexed-players or the 'chadmachine's or the wanna-be 'Joey Tribbaini's, who says no-no to commitment. They are the idiot savants in matters of romance.

Here I am talking about the cute, shy single guys. I have met alot of them. You must have tagged them as the typical geeks or nerds in your class/workplace. But dear girlies, you may just not realize that these shy soft spoken creatures may have deep deep crush on you, whilst you were busy chasing the "bull". But then who is to be blamed? They hardly speak, and you don't realize they actually exist!

In my attempt to train my brother to talk to girls in general, and his CRUSH in particular, I have just told him one thing. Go and talk. The first line, no doubt, is the hardest but still go ahead and talk. I understand that guys have this incurable fear of rejection. What will she think of me? What if her friends make fun of me? What if I say something wrong? What if she knows how I feel about her? So on and so forth. But guys, the truth is, we don't judge you the whole time. Some of us find it difficult to start a conversation. Unlike some chatty girl like me, who can talk any crap, anytime, with anyone, majority of the girls have this kindda inhibition. So dear men take a deep breath, be brave and just talk. Who knows she may even like your goofy jokes. After all, we are also humans with limitations.(We may not show it, but we know it ;) ) And we are definitely not some praying mantis ready to bite your head off!

Now your opening lines may not be outta Mr. Cassanova's handbook(Trust me, weirdest lines make the longest impression ;) ) But don't say something totally weird and disgusting either, to get tagged as the weirdo or the crackhead. There is always the very trusty "hi" or "hello", followed by "how was your day" etc. And of course, her likes and dislikes are always there to talk about.(I am sure you must have done a total background check by now. Thats really a creepy thought though.) Now hold on to your horses, I am not trying to make you sound gay. But then,if you are not much into flirting, make sure you don't try to sound too cheesy. It simply sucks.

Also, you really don't have to be that uber-cool dude your crush is actually crushing on. Just be yourself. It works 98 percent of the time.Quoting my favorite Audioslave song:

"Someone finds salvation in everyone, another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself, down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love until the end of time
Another runs away, separate or united, healthy or insane

And to be yourself is all that you can do,yeah."

Last but not the least, if your feelings don't get reciprocated please don't get disheartened. I know its easier said than done. But who said love comes easy. And thats definitely the end of the world.You can go two ways now. Either stick to your guns and pursue your lady love, or go find another hobby! After all, aaj Pooja toh kal dooja. Life is too short and too important to cry over one person,baby! But then that doesn't mean you don't ever take that first step to know her. 'coz sometimes, to find diamonds you need to crawl through the entire desert. All the best!

P.S. Please feel free to add on something extra. Its always a pleasure to learn more, after all I am no certified Love-Guru.

A week that was!!

2009-08-17T08:22:00.003+05:30

So I survived my first week in US of A. Not that it was difficult. I mean I am from INDIA, we live there by chance(thousands of diseases, occasional peek-a-bo0 from neighbouring terrorists bhais all set to blow us up, natural calamities, yada yada). Hence we can survive anywhere! =)

My first week in Philly is "mixed-emotions". Its frustrating to get lost on my way to Drexel on a sunny morning, but its equally fun to discover a new place around the wrong corner. Whats more, people are really friendly. I know its hard to believe that they are the same Americans who can detain SRK 'coz of the KHAN in his name. I am sorry but he is my favorite and so I am still a bit shocked!

Anyways back to discovering Philly. There is so much happening here. Nothing big but small joys in life. My people at work are really great. Alex been really patient as I make mistakes while doing the Compression tests. And Aaron showed how a half a million dollar SEM works! Its brilliant. Lunchtime is really fun. Trying out from the various lunch trucks is quite handful. But my first experience with Cheese Steak wasn't that great. I just felt a bit weird 'coz I found beef taste weird! Speaking of food, American lunch proportions are quite huge. So agrees my Spanish and French friends. None of us could finish the whole lunch.

Also the food is kindda bland and always mayo laden. So then I had to try my hand in cooking, its more like my very own spicy retreat! My cooking skills were always quite questionable, but now I actually enjoy making my dinner. Nothing lavish, but I love this ritual. I knew I would inherit those genes from Papa :P And I am proud that I haven't burnt the place down with my newly discovered culinary skills!

Oh, and I am really excited to meet Prof. Barsoum tomorrow. Finally I get to meet the person who made this research possible for me. And I hope I get my Dragon card and a desk tomorrow. I better sign off now, coz I see my bowl of icecream is slowly turning into chocolate milkshake. See ya homies..soon!

Traveling riverside(rather, airway) blues!

2009-08-10T05:06:00.004+05:30

My 22 hours of flight from Mumbai to Philadelphia couldn't have been more eventful. Lets start with who sits next to me. Well if last time it was old and farty men, this time it upgraded to babies.CRYING BABIES. Before I start off, lemme tell you I am not a baby hater. But this time, things have changed, atleast for now. Not only they( read, babies) cry throughout the whole flight, they even manage 2 puke on the person sitting beside. No matter how much I love those "cute little things", I just can't be happy about getting myself puked on! Lemme be more precise about my "journey". I know you may doze off in the middle of this post, but I NEED TO LET IT OUT. (Btw, you will notice many CAPS in this post. Go figure why!)

PART 1:Mumbai-Paris ~ Osama on board

Okay, my French sucks. All I can manage are the formal courtesies. So when this cute air host says I got a good French accent in replying to his customary "Bonjour!", I, for some reason(read, stupid reason) thought its gonna be a good journey. But the I was wrong. Comes a mother with her baby and two other kids. And right behind my seat, another family with noisy kids. And of the kid was called Osama. I did 180 turn just to see the kid with that name. I am not kidding, but that Osama did have fiery eyes and his expression was nothing, but anger. This is pure coincidence but it did creep me out. Anyways, the baby beside me started off wailing at the take off. And there I was thinking, well its just for now, maybe he will sleep off after some time. Wrong! It simply went on from loud to louder and finally to loudest. And the worst part, the mother was clueless. Everytime I was about to sleep or watch a movie, the wailing just gets louder. Even a bottle of red wine didn't help me to sleep(I wish I had my bottle of Grillinctus cough syrup with me!). But Led Zepp and Jimi Hendrix did help later on to shut out the noise.( Kudos to Air France's music collection). So by the time I landed Paris, I was a drunk and sleep-deprived zombie. If I had a camera, I would have posted my pic here.

PART 2:Paris 2 Philly~ The French stain

If last time it was one crying baby, this time it got doubled up. Some great sadist UP ABOVE was laughing His at his work. This cute little girl baby right beside me was all smiling during the take-off. I too was smiling, thinking that flight will be my personal "Stairway to Heaven". And I dozed off only to wake few minutes later to the sound of wailing. The baby beside the smilin baby starts crying. Smiling baby starts crying too and leans enough to puke something white n gooey on me! What happened next was a blurry of incidents: me fuming, the two babies having crying competition throughout the flight, the French guy on my other side tearing his hair apart with that noise.

So when the Customs officer asked me how I was doing...all I could answer " Tired". But then I was "Dazed and Confused" too. I still haven't slept and its been more than 30 hours. And my sweater smells of puke. I would continue further, but my head is doing a cha-cha-cha now. GTG!

Why I "almost" got fired?

2009-07-04T11:36:00.004+05:30

Well I have been working as a non-paid trainee in my parents' firm for past few weeks. Parents expectations are always high, and when you are working for them, it shoots off the ceiling! So finally I gathered up my courage and went to my boss(err, dad) to demand my paycheck. I thought a passive-aggressive approach would work out.(And I was damn wrong!) . So I write him something that I read long time ago somewhere(heights of vagueness!). It goes like this:

"When I take a long time, I am slow.

When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don’t do it, I am lazy.

When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart.

When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, that’s brown nosing.

When my boss pleases his boss, that’s co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.

When I do wrong, he never forgets."

And so pay me or I will be my own BOSS.

Here I was expecting a paycheck at this point. But then he gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. Resign from the trainee position, be your own boss and find your own place to live. Or, continue the training till you get your senses back. These Indian parents are crazy! They always catch your bluff. And so I am back to being a cubist again!

Right to live and love

2009-07-03T12:00:00.007+05:30

A twist in a colonial law opens many a fate. Delhi HC's ruling on Section 377 has finally (atleast by law) liberated my country India and her gay children. For justice is blind and cannot discriminate on the basis of one's sexual orientation. Hence, consensual sex involving two adults of the same sex can no longer be a criminal offence. There is no reason for the hetero India to get paranoid. The ruling is only paving a way for this sexual minority to lead a normal and open life, at the same time get equal legal protection. Justice for all...isn't that whats law is all about??

The extent to which the government will support this is quite questionable. It will definitely be a political suicide, but atleast, we will (proudly) acknowledge the ruling party has balls to accept reality. Already the self-appointed guardians of Hindutwa, BJP is vehemently opposing it. Gay sex is immoral and unnatural and Indian society does not approve of it, they say. Sadly majority of the public still agrees with them reasoning that its against Indian "culture". But is it worth having such a culture where few live a life of lies and in the shadows of shame, just because of their plain "biological oreintations"?? THINK INDIA.THINK. Here I would like to add something that my cousin told me about gay-ism and ancient India. In his words:

"the shastras celebrate same-sex pairs, like co-mothers, rivers or friends. (but minors experimenting with same sex was punished with lashes but that was because losing virginity was said to reduce thechance of marriage) Agni, to whom most of the hymns of the Rig Veda are dedicated, is born of lesbian mothers. Some King of the Matsya Purana was turned by Shiva into a woman who then married the son of the moon. Mughal rulers openly accepted gay love. Scientifically everyone (can you handle the truth) at the very basic level is a female and male hormones are present in both males and females. super males & females are real abnormalities and you don't even want to know about that. What cause all the difference is the Hormones & Brain Wiring. So it boils down to your social morality, prejudice and plain fear of the unfamiliar."

Hence being gay is not a disease. And its one thing you have no control over. Ya you can hide it and live a life full of lies, but thats entirely your choice. If you ask me, its more of an ability. Your different choice doesn't make you a freak or a weirdo, you are just different than the rest of us. In plain english, you are unique. On a funnier note, the bis are damn lucky. They get the best of both the worlds. So walk with your head held high. And for the rest of you who are overwhelmed by "GAY SEX" and think its a western influence, kindly re-arrange your thoughts.

You may think that the country is swept off by the West Winds in a wrong way, in matters of homosexual liberation. But isn't it also true that this influence has made people more open and aware? Ignorance is no longer a bliss if you want to survive this age. Its time we actually learn to embrace and accept people and situations as they are. True, you just can't shake off your generations-old conservative beliefs in a day, but atleast make an effort to educate the public and raise public awareness about sexual minorities. It may be done in small steps but atleast towards the right direction.

For, love knows no boundaries, no sexual orientations either.

Who moved my Boards??

2009-06-25T22:07:00.004+05:30

So finally an attempt to revive the long-dead education system of India. Jai Ho! CBSE. One country, one education system. But will this reform bring "equality in education" in a severely diverse country like ours? Specially a country, neck deep with self-pitied citizens, who believe their "caste" will make their lives easy. Are we finally getting a fair arena of competition where talent comes forth social standings? If yes, its time for some cool revolution, baby!

But its a tricky road ahead, marinated with 'netagiri'. Many of the rural votes will be at stake after all. If you must know, the government funded schools in rural India are run by petty thieves, who entitle themselves as "teachers". This class of rats live entirely for the steady monthly salary, and definitely not for educating young minds. Their level of knowledge is pathetic and imparting even that bare minimum turns out to be a Herculean task for them. So I hope when our reverend and wise lawmakers passed the law of one education board, they are visionary enough to understand the fact that educating these pathetic "educators" will take another decade to come at par to the CBSE level.For that, they have to visit every school in every nook and corner of the country. You think they can do it?

Next comes the question on removing the 10th boards examination. Now I call it as "Half-baked" funda from the West. I mean their whole education system is flexible, maybe a little bit too flexible (no wonder, Obama is crying out loud!).The students can choose their own course,can jump classes if they are advanced for it and yada yada. None of which is easy to implement in the grass root level of our education system. Every state has their own education board where most of the time the medium of education is their regional language. Do you understand the difficulty of undoing what they have learnt and then re-learn everything again? Let alone the students but also the teacher.

Definitely most of the kinks of our auto-pilot education system (like, parrot-reading methods, extreme grading system etc.) will be smoothened out, but whether the true objective will be reached? Its still questionable.

An apology

2009-06-20T10:36:00.004+05:30

Hello guys! I know its been really long sinceI wrote something..I am so sorry. Call it a lame excuse, but past few weeks I am going through a total body shock- the paid torture called" gym"! Yeah, before this I thought working out was fun. I mean, I was doing it on my own albeit without a trainer. A lil' bit of cardio and weights was no bigga deal. But now, with a super serious instructor who not only sticks with the usual weights, but also yoga and aerobics, things are kindda jittery for me. Plus, when a foodie's diet narrows down to all non-spicy and well-balanced healthy food, the torture heightens. I m even planning to entitle him as "jallad"(read, aamir khan inspired) :P

But then, this shock is all temporary. I won't quit writing for sure. In Rab ne's style "Never fear, T-F-L is here" ;) (cant help quoting SRK, unnecessarily though!)Soon the body will get adjusted to the all-new diet and disciplined routine. Hopefully, I will also come up with better and improved version of fictions. Btw guys, I have been following your work, I see great changes and I like it. Will join you folks soon! Bye!

Head or Tale

2009-05-23T18:15:00.000+05:30

"The police found it in the trunk of her car.Neatly wrapped inside a wooden box."

"Did she claim it was hers?Or did they force her to?"

"She admitted it was her husband's gift to her on their first anniversary."

"But, isn't it foolish to keep it there? That proves her guilty of murder."

"She seemed too calm to feel sorry for what she did."

"Then why not dispose it like the rest of the body?"

"She said it was like a souvenir. It was his intelligence that always attracted her. Sadly, it also made her destroy him."

"Thats really creepy. Why would a wife ever do such horrible thing?"

"Strange are the workings of a woman's mind. I hope you won't do that if I cheat on you, right?"

"Evan, its not funny. And why the hell are you laughing?!?!"

Before she fainted...

2009-05-13T23:51:00.004+05:30

"You bastard! How can you do this to me?"

"I didn't do anything. You are thinking too much."

"I know you are having an affair. Who is she?!?"

"What?!?! Have you lost your mind?"

"C'mon Jason, I know the signs."

"Of course, you do. You've been exhibiting them past few weeks."

"JASON!Stop it!"

"You think I don't know about your affair with Mark? Sad."

"You have no right to say that."

"Really? Oh, I thought it was any husband's right."

"A husband who has no time for his wife. What else do you expect?"

"I expect you to divorce me.I can't live with a woman who slept with my boss."

"Fair enough. So how long you been having the affair?"

"Long before we got married."

"And you've lied to me all these while. Why?"

"There were certain complications."

"Who is she? Do I know her?"

"Yeah. You guys met at the wedding."

"Who is she?? Tell me."

"Its not she. Its a he. Sam, the bestman at our wedding."

Cathy faints.

A woman should...

2009-05-07T10:17:00.005+05:30

"be a feminist during her college days,

be career minded and care oriented,

play the game of hide and seek with her suitor,

dare to stay happily unmarried all her life,

love being a woman,

buy flowers for herself,

feel the wind on her face,

go camping,trekking,

be shy, be bold,

trust men occasionally,

give the second chance to everyone,

be a romantic,

get emotionally hyped over nothing and cool down suddenly,

go on a diet, yet, eat chocolates and ice-creams,

get high and stay high on life, love her man and her reflection,

learn to love herself,

kiss herself good night in the mirror,

get wild, tame her tears,

break rules- lead the dances,

drive her man's car,

run his bank account,

manage his business, wear his clothes,

yet know that he's a man and she's the woman,

get flattered,

wear latest fashion and wear fine diamonds,

for no special reason,

lay down principles in her life,

go out for window shopping all alone,

know the way to her man's heart,

never forget the little girl within."

Destination:DEATH

2009-04-28T20:45:00.005+05:30

"Hey kid, whats your name?"

"Amanda. Whats yours?"

"George. How old are you? And where are your folks? Kids shouldn't be moving around alone in this ward."

"Nice to meet you,George. I am eight. How old are you?"

"75. Kid, your parents?"

"I don't have any. I am from Good Shepherd Orphanage. You see that fat nun over the reception? She is Sister Cecilia. I came with her."

"Is she sick?"

"No. I am.Doctor said its terminal. Whats terminal?"

"It means, there is no turning back. Like me."

"Turning back from where?"

"Death kid. Death."

"But you are old. And I am only eight. Why should I die?"

"I dunno kid. Its fate."

"But I don't want to die, George. I still have to be picked up by some family. Like, you know, my friend Clarissa, went across the river to stay with her new parents. She even has a dog now. I miss her though.

Sister Maria says, if I say my prayers daily and do the chores, I too will go to some good family."

"Really? Did Sister Maria say why you weren't picked up till now?"

"She said I am a bit sick. And the families don't want sick kids.But if I take my medicine and say 100 Hail Marys daily, some family will take me too."

"Why do you want a family so badly? Listen kid, you will do good on your own. Family is not worth 100 Hail Marys ."

"Because everybody has one.I too want one who will take me to park like Toby's does. Or buy me a doll house like Bess's. Don't you have one??"

"Yeah, I do. A son and a daughter. But they are busy with their work and their own families.Nobody has time for a bitter old man."

"Do they hate you because you have the disease?"

"Maybe. Or maybe, they are glad that I am dying..finally. After all, I am just an unwanted baggage."

"George, did my mother leave me beacuse I am an unwanted baggage too?"

"I dunno kid. But you are a good kid. Not unwanted."

"George, are you scared of dying?"

"Yes kid, I am. Terrified."

"I am scared too. Can I hug you?"

"Sure kid."

"George, can I die with you? I was always alone. I don't want to die alone."

"Kid, I ...."

"Promise me, George."

"I promise I will not leave without you."

"If I should die,

And you should live,

And time should gurgle on,

And morn should beam,

And noon should burn,

As it has usual done;

If birds should build as early,

And bees as bustling go, --

One might depart at option

From enterprise below!

'T is sweet to know that stocks will stand

When we with daisies lie,

That commerce will continue,

And trades as briskly fly.

It makes the parting tranquil

And keeps the soul serene,

That gentlemen so sprightly

Conduct the pleasing scene!"

~ Emily Dickinson

Whats in a name?

2009-04-22T17:53:00.004+05:30

Every picture tells a story, says a friend. This is my first attempt to include one for this picture.

"Shit! Christ!All I need now is a coffee stain."

"A wet napkin can do the trick. Here, let me help you."

"Excuse me? Does it look like I need your help?" Wow Ryan, you are super clumsy. Even a stranger can tell.

"Well, I can't say much about your look. But you better remove the stain quickly.Or else it will cling to your shirt like a whiny wife."

"Haha. Very funny.Go ahead and laugh. After all, The joke's on me!"

"zzissss..! You are hotter than your coffee!"

"What?! Are you flirting with me?"

"Totally.Are you my Prince Charming? Your table manners bowled me over."

"We are not even sharing a table. Listen lady, why don't you let me enjoy my 30-min break in silence?"

"Sure. Sip in silence. While I enjoy my shake. Slluurrppp...!"

Aarrggh! "Why are you doing this?What you want?"

"To remove that stain of yours. And maybe...talk a little, share a few laughs, what say?"

"Sorry, I am not into small talks with strangers. And thanks for the unwanted advice."

"So, you work near-by?"

"Still talking! What did I tell you about my no-talk policy?"

"Didn't hear that. I am a bit deaf on the left."

"Brilliant! Err..ok I am sorry about that. But, look at me? I really don't want to talk to you."

"Can't do that either. I am blind too. "

"What?? Then, how did you know I spilled my coffee?"

"Hehe..You swore out loud."

"Hmmm... You are too beautiful to be blind."

"Thats what everybody says. Life's a bitch, isn't it?"

"Tell me about it."

"So, your wife left you,huh?"

"What? How did you know?!"

"You didn't take the whiny wife joke well..simple!"

"Ya, she left me. But its not that simple. Anyways, you sit in this cafe everyday to talk to strangers?"

"Oh, I love the cafe no doubt. I specially love to sit here and feel the afternoon sun in my face. Also, Marco makes the best shake in this part of the town. Yeah, I occasionally talk to people here. After all, the voices are my only connection to the world."

"So, why me? I wasn't even polite to you."

"You sounded troubled. Like, you need someone to talk to."

"No, I don't."

"There you go again. Getting all defensive. Relax. Enjoy your coffee and the afternoon."

"So, how did you lose your sight?"

"Well, it so happened that I was on a road trip with my friends to........................."

And so, 30 mins led to five hours and after three rounds of coffee down.

"Oh, its almost evening. I can smell it.Listen, I have to go now.I have a bus to catch. And you have your boss to report your absence."

"That can wait. I doubt they even noticed that I was missing."

"Wow. No wonder you are so popular."

"So, I guess you can wait."

"No, can't do. The bus stop is around the corner. Why don't you walk me to the bus stop?"

"Sure, would love to.So, what bus do you catch?"

"The 5 o'clock one. Its almost time, isn't it?"

"Yeah. 5 mins left. Amazing. How did you know?"

"Creature of habit...simple!"

"For you, everything seems to be simple, isn't it?"

"Not exactly. Anyways, thanks for walking me till here. Is that my bus coming?"

"Yes. It was really nice talking to you. By the way, I am Ryan. And, you are?"

"I knew you wanted to talk to someone. I am glad it was me. And I enjoyed this afternoon as much as you did. 1520 Harrington, please. Thanks!"

"So, we meet tomorrow again??"

"Lets see."

"Atleast tell me your name!"

"Whats in a name, Ryan?!?" She smiles. The door closes and the bus leaves.

My most memorable affairs...so far!

2009-04-17T10:25:00.001+05:30

4 years in Vellore, and the only places I loved here(read, no other options) are the eating joints. Of course, we also have a fort housing a temple, a mosque and a church inside it, none of which interests me anyway. I even heard that people go for boating in the mosquito-algae infested moat surrounding the fort, a ho-hum affair which strangely, people find romantic in the Vellore heat. Yes, the heat is so terrible that it makes Siberia the best place on earth. Thus, the only good thing about my graduation exile to this uber-boring place are mygastronomical affairs.

China Valley delight:

I love the Chinese invasion in VIT. I really love it. Not only did they flex the University rules, but also brought momos here. Yes, these steamy drops of heaven are well appreciated. Obviously, they can't beat the momos of Momo Ghar in Guwahati.But still,thanks to this really small China Valley resaturant, which my myopic eyes have missed, like, zillion times earlier. And today, I tried the BBQ Chicken there, which was no better than ambrosia for me. The kebab styled chicken was cooked in the perfect Schezwan sauce- spicy and tangy with a hint of honey. It was worth the 45 minutes of waiting in the heat and ducking the thousand makkhis ke attack. Man, I have never seen so many flies at the same time. I guess, they too love chinese.

**************************************************
KFC ishtyle at Amala's:

Uncle makes the best chicken burger here.He did beat the Colonel on this.The chicken is crispy on outside, tender inside. Oh, and the pasta is equally awesome. Uncle, a 60-something returnee from London, is the cook cum owner of Amala. He amuses us not only with his culinary skills but also his gift of gab. The first thing he asks me and my friends, "Which branch you guys are from? And please don't tell you are from Biotech." He gave us a toothy smile when he knew that we are from Chemical. Apparently he finds the Boitechs very arrogant. He sat and chatted with us all the while. Nice Brit humor to go with the funny little Brit accent of his. Amala's is a different experience all together. In the evening the place turns into a coffee shop. You sit around and read some books, play carrom or simply devour the yummy sandwiches with coffee. A very laid back affair!
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Afghani @ Darling Residency:

The Afghani Chicken is a hot favorite out here. Covered with a thick layer of cheese and served with mint chutney, this is the only cheesy stuff I adore. I also love the grilled fish and the steaks. Best part is the roof-top restaurant, especially in the evening. In a town that gets over in the blink of an eye, Darling Residency surely stands tall(read, big building)
************************************************
Quick Bites:

There was not one time that I passed by QB without having the Barbeque roll. Thats the power it has over me. Not to forget the fresh cream cakes, death by chocolate and the caramel cake, an indulgence for my sweet tooth.
************************************************
Lalit Bihar:

Being a total carnivore, chicken is my vice. But the only place I don't mind being a vegetarian is Lalit Bihar. Pakka home styled Indian food. From lassi to parantha, this is a total desi-ghee cooked madness. The place is always crammed with people and its so small that sometimes you may get a bit claustrophobic inside. But the food can make you forget the world outside.
************************************************

The list is not complete without a special mention of these: SBR chicken biryani, peking noodles and chicken taronest of China Town, chicken winglet of Punjabi Dhaba( but, at your life's risk. Don't be surprised if you backfire after this spicy treat.). But no meal is complete without a king-size dessert. Ladies and gentlemen, I present GellatoPazo. The generous servings of icecream does a total "Yuppie" to your stomach- DBC, Choca-Moca, icecream with fruit salad etc. Oh, almost forgot the hot jalebis served in the evening at Dhaba Express.They simply melt in your mouth. Try it out with Vanilla icecream.Bon Appetite!

The night that was...

2009-04-09T18:07:00.004+05:30

Bob and Sharleen entered the house through the patio. The house was dark in the dead silence of the night.

"Bob, the staircase is to the left of the dining hall. We take the first flight and then right. That's where it is."

"How do you know the inside so well?"

"Oh, I worked as a maid here. Until Mrs. Black fired me."

Her creamy complexion looked too royal for a maid. For a moment, Bob was troubled.

"So you doing this all for a silly revenge?"

"Bob, this is no time to discuss. The patrol car passes by in another half an hour. We have to hurry."

"Fine. I got it." Bossy woman. He hates when she is in control. Except, maybe, the bedroom. He grinned.

"And Bob, be careful." She touches his arm.

Damn woman! Concentrate, Bob. Concentrate.

5 minutes later, they reach the staircase. Bob was amazed by the huge chandelier at the centre.

"Here, take the gun. Just incase."

"Sharleeenn! Where didja...?"

"Later Bob. Now take it."

The mahagony door was slightly ajar. Bob went agape when he looked in. The master bedroom was an image in white marble and mirrors.

"Stop drooling, you idiot!" She angrily hissed.

"Hey its my first big fish, dontcha get it?"

Inside, a body was under the covers of the kingsize bed.

"Hey, you said the Blacks were on a holiday. What is he doing here?And where is she?"

"Looks like change of plan. You go over the bed and keep an eye on James. I will work on the safe."

"You call him by name?"

"Ya, we slept few times. That's when she found out and fired me."

"And so you stealing the Heart of Gold? A revenge?"Damn women and their vendetta!

"Ya, sorta." Damn kid, you ask too much.

Sleek as a leopard, she moves towards walk-in closet. Just few more minutes to waste, before the game is over. Honey, you so gonna pay. She couldn't help, but grin in the dark.

Bob moved nervously over the bed. The man in bed seemed to be in troubled sleep. No wonder, the rich never sleeps in peace. Suddenly, his eyes hovered over the huge picture above the bed. A wedding photo. The dark haired bride looked familiar. She looked like..like.. He let out a small cry!

"Sharon honey, is that you?" Suddenly the body in bed was awake.

Bang!Bang!Bang! Three shots through the head, and James Black was dead. Bob didn't realise that he pulled the trigger. Before he could react, something hit him on his knees. He sprawled into the floor.

"Thank you, Bob. It was sooner than expected."

Against the moonlight, she looked like an angel. My death angel.

"Let me introduce myself. I am Sharon Black. And you've just killed my husband. Congratulations." And she laughed like a maniac.

This is a mad woman. Not my Sharleen. "Why me?"

"You were just my pawn, kid. And you just opened the doors to the Black empire, for me. Now that you know the secret. I have to kill you."

"But I love you."

"Too bad. I never loved you anyway. Goodbye lover!"

Early morning, a week later. She goes over the newspaper until one item caught her eyes.

"...It was just a week ago that Mr. James Black was murdered at his home by an amateur thief. And even under such trauma, Mrs. Sharon Black successfully holds the fort as the new CEO of the Black Corporation. Friends and family is still mourning over the loss with the Black widow."

Yes, I am the Black widow.

My new Blog skin

2009-04-09T13:10:00.001+05:30

I have this annoying habit of changing my blog template. Its nothing but the outcome of my constant need for change of surroundings. No guess needed, I am a restless soul! Anyways, I love my new blog skin. It a typical Piet Mondrian template. There is something about his work that always fascinated me.

Those of you don't know, Piet Mondrian was a dutch painter. It was, he who introduced Neo-Plasticism, the non-representational form of art. Also known as De Stijl, the famous Dutch artistic movement in 1912. This art consisted only of vertical and horizontal black lines and the use of the three primary colors-red, blue and yellow.

This genre of art expresses the spiritual harmony and order. The Guggenheim Museum's online article on De Stijl summarizes these traits in similar terms: "It [De Stijl] was posited on the fundamental principle of the geometry of the straight line, the square, and the rectangle, combined with a strong asymmetricality; the predominant use of pure primary colors with black and white; and the relationship between positive and negative elements in an arrangement of non-objective forms and lines."

A very peculiar form of art, for those interest can click here.

Will I ever see this again?

2009-04-05T14:08:00.004+05:30

Today morning I woke up suddenly at 5. The sight I saw through the two huge windows on the opposite wall, was so outta nature's canvas. Early morning light through the clouds. The hills afar had a bluish tinge with the sky in the horizon adorned a pink glaze. The greens below were greener than usual. For a moment I felt as if I was dreaming. Such a pristine sight. I feared moving just incase it was a dream. Like holding on the beautiful moments to last a lifetime. Such moments hardly come by or simply gets unnoticed in d humdrum routine of life. And I simply stared, quenching my thirst like on a hot day. Didn't realise when I drifted off to sleep. And I still wonder-Was this a dream? Or just my luck with reality?

Calling out to the universe...

2009-03-30T13:28:00.002+05:30

The moment I saw The Secret, I seriously didn't believe a word. It sounded too good to be true. I mean you ask the universe, and it gives you your heart's desires. Then I thought a little more. Scarily funny, it happened with me. 6 years ago, I was a dosa-idli loving kid. 'coz I could eat those delicacies at restaurant. Then I made a terrible wish. Since then I am stuck in a place where I get to eat them daily. Daily to the point of making me pukesville. My once "love" has now turned to bad case of taste allergy. So much for a wishful wish!

Shit! I am talking about food again! I guess I fancy food like a fat tub of lard.

2009-03-23T22:54:00.008+05:30

..What the hell was I thinking? I have gone righty tighty!lefty! loosey! for quite sometime. Spluttered my blog with wasted thoughts. Shit I have gone soft!So I am bracing myself up for the 'comeback' from hell. BitchynessUnlimited.com Thanks Kshitij for passing on the torch. The marathon has just begun.

Side effects of Loveria

2009-03-18T11:49:00.014+05:30

I don't understand why the couples break-up so frequently. I mean if they have zero tolerance level, why even commit in the first place. Kindly refer to The Revolutionary Road if you are so duh-huh at this.But recently I got a completely new perspective on this whole issue.

One newly single guy said that he broke-up 'coz he kindda got bored.Apparently the girl loved him way too much. I was totally 'WTF!!' when I heard it. But behind the wtfness I found the truth. Being regular at male bashing, I have always blamed the guys who broke my friends' hearts. Now when I recall those situations, I see something else. The fault lies with the girls too.These fluffy-little-walking-hearts loves and cares too much. So the moment they became dedicated-ly "available", their guys whole hearted-ly got bored. Call me cynical morbid bitch, but fellas thats the truth. And my dear girlies, better accept it sooner, before someone else does trapeze with your heart again. Taking things for granted is a selfish human nature embedded in our genes. And this seems to be more prominent with organisms having high testosterone levels.

My heartbroken friends have often recounted their "burning paradise" stories. But somehow they fail to see the cause and the symptoms of the imminent fallout. You see, when this Ishq-Visk happens, the stakes get really high in terms of expectations."I expect you to do this and that,sacrifice this and that, in return for my selfless love". (Well, I am expecting many war-cries at this juncture to prove me wrong with the sanctimony of "Love demands Nothing".) Unfortunately, its the girl who usually initiates this blunder. This is shortly followed by the even deadlier "Commit to me" phase. No doubt the guy chokes in love.I don't blame him. I just blame the girl for being a total angel in loving an A**hole in the guise of a man!

Now that the guy feels trapped, he goes helter-skelter. Sadly his lady love fails to notice.But like the third umpire, I too saw when love got bowled out. So,for the sake of damage-control, just look out for these tell-tale signs. His love for you is losing its life-blood, if you find that, most of the time, he behaves in the following ways:

1. He no longer makes time to spend with you on a weekly/daily basis.

2. He prefers to go out with his friends than take you out.

3. He is easily annoyed by things that never bothered him in the past.

4. He finds it difficult to tell you that he loves you.

5. He constantly talks about how fat/boring/nagging you are.

6. He talks you down.

7. He has started being dissatisfied with things you do for him.

8. He suddenly gets very busy so that he will have less time to spend with you.

9. He has stopped doing you any favors.

10. He has told you that perhaps both of you should slow things down a bit.

11. He encourages you to go out and have fun without him.

12. He forgets your birthdays/anniversaries and makes no effort to buy you gifts.

13. He laughs out loud when he talks to his friends or family members, and never laughs out loud with you.

14. He flirts openly with other women in your presence.

15. He has started comparing you to other women in terms of how you should look or behave.

16. He has started lying about where he has been and who he's been with.

(Incase there are more signs, please feel free to add.)

BTW, these signs are not applicable if you are in love with a guy who is terminally sarcastic, a compulsive liar, or simply brain dead. There is no cure for that itch. Its applicable only for your Mr. NiceGuy-turned-HellBoy. But at the end of the day, its upto you. If you believe that its worth making few changes to save your relationship, go for it! Otherwise, leave the guy immediately, get overdosed on chocolate and say it out loud, "Yeh nahi toh koi aur sahi". I know its easier said than done. But I am no love atheist and I believe that there are few good men still left.

Recession hits Tongue-fu too!

2009-03-01T20:17:00.003+05:30

One of my Gtalk buddies has this status message:

No more status msgs to show: India has really gone into recession

I was totally rofloled over this. Every corner we walk into today, all we hear is Recession. Its this huge monster slowly eating up the planet. The other day my mom called up to say how bad the hospital business is going on. Apparently people have stopped falling sick due to Recession

I do get the impact of recession, but lately things are going way too over the head. At this rate I won't be surprised if a newborn's first words are "Raa-Saa-Shaan" rather than "Mama Dada.." Oh even better, what if a baby refuses to come outta mother's womb crying "Whaa! Mommy, not now...after recession only"( That comic strip is just conjuring up in my mind starring The Recession Baby.)

No doubt the Recession Plague is mostly affecting the great minds . Politicians like B S Yeddyurappa , Muthalik and Co. making an ass outta themselves with their Return to the Dark Age schemes, filmakers making the worst films ever, the cricket team is losing( well, they lose every now n then..but thats a different issue altogether), not to mention the new panga with H-1B Visa (Poor westward looking Indian fellas now have to look inwards...classic case of Recession hitting the Brain Drain) and obviously topping the list are the Indian IT companies. Even the 54th Idea Filmfare Awards last night showed signs of the Great Depression. The Vadde Khans were replaced by the Bacchas of Industry. I missed their wicked humor and it depressed me..alot!

But look at the brighter side, everyone is singing the same note. World leaders are chanting the same mantra: Deglobalization! to save their socio-political-college degrees stuffed-asses. And also its fun to see when their well-orchestrated decisions go down the drain, and all they come up with, "Sorry, I screwed up!' It getting fantabulous every second.

Now whether the Woody Allens, the Richard Linklaters, and the Madhu Bhandarkars are making movies on this Period or not, I will definitely tell my kids and grandkids the Great Depression story starring the brave Tongue-fu hero, who is now going to enjoy her Choco-Nut Cookie listening to Vivaldi...Gnite!

Victory of the slumdogs, what next?

2009-02-24T12:13:00.003+05:30

"Slumdog Miilionaire" won 8 Oscars! The Indians around the globe are gushing with pride. This is a rags-to-riches fairy tale of a slum dweller and the miserable life he led in the shanties of Mumbai. He is not just a character in a film, we feel his pain. But most importantly,we are celebrating his pain through the awards. Doesn't that make us masochists in our own little worlds??

We enjoy showing off the world our miseries and all we ask in return is a damn good "Happy ending" no matter how unrealistic it is.And no doubt Hollywood takes the advantage of this fact. Poor India!Hungry India!Deprived and sad Indians! The world is our stage and we gain the sympathy votes. A nice market strategy. And I am sure Hollywood is hoping it can do the same trick what the cosmetic industry did with the Indian beauty pageant winners.

I know what you are thinking. I am an ungrateful and unpatriotic Indian who should be summoned by the House of Un-Indian Activities. But here is a fact. I am an Indian who loves to see India as a super-power not as a developing Third World country. I do acknowledge the problems we face, but I hate to celebrate them. And I hate when they make films which looks like "an instant coffee illumination of a dark continent for the underexposed waspy American who is, of late, finding it kindda cool to engage with the rest of the world."

Headlines like"India's Jamals can't afford dal-roti daily" are flooding the national newspapers today. Looks like the whole country has awakened from a deep slumber to show their concern for the slum dwellers. Do you think we really care for the likes of Jamal, Latika and Salim? Hell no! We are bloody hypocrites. Noboby changes overnight over a British-American film about India with some Indian collaboration. No doubt the "slum story" can be a good topic to discuss over the brunch on a Sunday morning, but nothing beyond it. Till the new found hype and glamour of the slums is there,I say its Christmas for the people in the shanties- Health camps, donations etc. Maybe people on the better side cares or maybe they just want to earn some Good Karma in their free time. Either ways its short-lived.

But Mr. Boyle good job! And I agree small is beautiful. I am sure India will deliver you many such storylines. And why not? We love being SMALL. So what do you plan to tell the world next? Hmmm..how about the deprived SC/STs in India and how they require quotas in everything they do?? 'coz after all, Indians are the only people who take pride in being from backward society.

Jamini

2009-02-21T19:20:00.005+05:30

Today I would like to tell you about a woman named Jamini. She is neither a politician nor a page 3 socialite. Nor someone important who can make a difference in this world. She is my housekeeper cum sentry who looks after my brother and the house, when my parents are away. A complete nobody...then why should I talk about her? But this tall and lean boring character has a different story to tell.

I don't know how old Jamini is. The flecks of white hair and the pigmentation in her face tells me she must be something around 40. Her unique feature is her pockmarked face. It has no sign of life. I could never figure out whether she is happy or sad. Never heard her complain about the work or ask for leave. Whether its diwali celebration or a funeral, that blank slate always has a morbid expression. When I first read about the Death Kiss of Dementors and its aftermath, the face that first came to my mind was hers. Obviously thats impossible in the real world. Jamini's abnormality was not from birth.

Twenty something years ago Jamini was married in her village (a-name-I-never cared to remember!) She was continuously beaten up by her drunkard of a husband. The torture not just scarred her body but her mind also permanently. After the birth of her daughter, she was thrown out of her house. The husband remarried and Jamini was never allowed to step in her house. The young mother lost her right to feed her own baby. And this deprivation eventually sucked out her last drop of happiness.

Now all she does is work. And the way she gets things done is that of a plain idiot. Recently she threw away my passport along with the trash. No doubt such antics earned her the name "Jomoni" meaning funny. There are times when my mother has urged her to go and meet her daughter. But she never seem interested and always says "Hobo diyok baideo, bapek aase nohoi saboloi". I guess this tortured soul now refuses to be happy. Last time when I was in town, I got her a pair of earrings. That was the only time I saw her smile but her eyes were listless.

A woman like Jamini has seen only pain and she suffers in silence. I am sure she must have cried all alone before turning into a stone. And there must millions of people out there who suffers like her in silence. Ironically, sharing that same space and time are also people like me, who cry out loud how unfair life is, at the slightest of trouble. And as I write this, I am filled with shame and remorse for being such a weak-hearted fool. But then again, tomorrow is a brand new day to learn and start afresh. :)

Its all in the head,Honey!

2009-02-14T10:39:00.004+05:30

This post is dedicated to all the people in "loouvve", the hopeless romantics and those who believe that heart is where the love is. It may crash that beautiful fiction called love you hold so close to your heart.

Recently I read this article where researchers from Albert Einstein College of Medicine,New York said" The source of love is in the head, not the heart." Hah! I felt so. The red lumpy pumping machine can't make you fall in love. No doubt it sounds unpoetical and unromantic when you get to know that love mostly can be understood through brain images, hormones and genetics. Imagine the gross image of the folds in brain in your V-day card saying "Sweetheart, this got us together". Love will definitely look nauseous. Businesses will drop. Hypocrites are we, believing love is a miracle sent from Heaven, so lets give credits to the unseen cupids and the red heart.

But here is the truth.The brain has four tiny parts which form the love circuit.(cupids and love charms are stupid!!) The hotspot is the teardrop shaped VTA. Apparently it "lights up" in a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine, whenever you see that special person. Thus a rush of of adrenaline-like chemicals-PEA takes place. And this speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells, dopamine and norepinephrine. Dopamine makes you happy and norepinephrine stimulates the production of adrenaline. Oh that heady feeling! with the heart beating faster. :P

Now this chemical reaction works in the brain like drug addiction. You feel light-headed, things start to look more colorful, the world seems to be a happy place and yada yada...the crap people say!So wake up dopeheads...This addiction is good as along as everything is well, but gets dangerous when things go down the drain. The brains of recently heartbrokens create a craving very similar to that of cocaine craving. "People kill for love. Die for love".

Addicted to love, after all ;)

I am fat and ugly

2009-02-11T13:16:00.006+05:30

Anyone who saw the Korean movie 200 Pounds Beauty know exactly what I will talk about today. But the solution is not always going under the knife or other quick-fix solutions

Many of my friends often complain about their weight problem. They crib and cry how unfair life is giving them the few extra pounds. But very often they fail to see that they are the "doers of the doing"(wow! that rhymes somewhere in my mind :P) . Only hogging and no playing makes Jill a fat cow. I have come across the following three types.

1. I don't care cow: Very dangerous type. Once upon a time they decided to do some dieting. When it didn't work but made them more hungry instead, they simply gave up. Now they just don't care 'coz they are overly depressed with their appearance. They hog double giving their depression as an excuse. A serious case of overeating

2.Diet till I die cow: They are the hyper cousins of the above variety of cows. One morning they wake up to find out that they won't fit into their favorite pair of jeans. And then they stop eating completely, maybe just one meal a day. Often leads to serious eating disorders like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa etc. This leads to very dangerous symptoms. Trying to quick-fix their problems, they slowly become the third type.

3.Pill popping cow:If the last ones were dangerous, this one is suicidal. There is no coming back because the market is filled with loads of Orlistats, Sibutramines, Symlins etc. and you have easy access to them. Also available are the cellulite treatments. A little bit of snooping in Allmart showed there are three types of weight loss creams being sold at present in the VIT campus. Next best sell to the fairness cream products.

Now I may continue ranting about the pitfalls of dieting etc. But thats not the point. You may be on the heavier side but its not the end of the world. Instead of resorting to the short-cuts, do it the right way. Do exercise. A little bit of workout won't kill anyone(Unless you are medically adviced not to.) So put on your running shoes and sweat your fats out. Its not just about looking beautiful, its about staying healthy. And working out will not make you any less feminine. Do the cardios regularly and you may not even have to cut out your favorite chocolate!The path is difficult and the results are slow. Atleast it won't harm you.

Instant weight reducing regime does this. Blow the bubblegum and then burst it. Continue it for sometime and after the 5th-6th time, the gum becomes loose.Same thing happens to your body. It sags at unwanted places owing to the sudden weight loss, followed by ugly stretch marks. And the body takes a funnel-shape.Most importantly you lose the glow in your face.

Controlling the palate is again very difficult task. Cut down the fattening foods but do treat yourself once in a while. In the end, its a win-win situation. Drink lots and lots of water.If you are not into work outs, try yoga. But never starve yourself. Its a crime. Our body is the most amazing gift of nature. Love and respect it.

If nothing mentioned above works for you, try the Vatsyayana way of losing weight! ;)

Random thoughts

2009-02-06T15:33:00.001+05:30

Ever since the high court of Tamil Nadu passed the decision of closing of all the colleges in the region, students have been homebound in flocks. Its interesting to see their eagerness in “going home” for they tend to forget everything else. The world around them becomes blur coz then they just move towards one single goal. Home. What a beauty!

Somehow I didn’t catch this home fever and stayed back. Not that I don’t have a home and don’t enjoy the company of the people I love. Its just that strangely, the eagerness wasn’t there. Or maybe I was plain lazy. My dear mother, God bless her soul, was worried about me staying in the almost empty campus. But how can I make her understand that I enjoy this emptiness. Many would say that I am under some kind of weird depression mumbo-jumbo. But the truth is I love the empty hallways, the almost empty campus and mostly the empty hostel corridors. Sounds ghastly to some, but its beautiful. Lesser the people, lesser is the effort required to connect with them. Humans have this strange behavior of finding connection with others. But I don’t see anything humane enough when a person has to forgo himself inorder to blend in.

Being a chronic loner, I like this sudden change in campus. Atleast I don’t have to pretend that I am having a great time in the crowd and connecting with people. Its not that I hate human contact, but after sometime its unbearable. They talk, shout, scream, laugh, cry a lot…making a lot of noise. Unfortunately you can’t “mute” them and so you adjust or simply blend in.

The advertisements scream offers like “Run away to the exotic Caribbean” or “Enjoy quality family time in Europe” or “Find paradise in the Greek islands” or “Celebrate the silence of the Himalayas”. Unfortunately these promises are short lived and very commercial. These places are always way too crowded with tourists. You just can’t escape the noise. If I ever had a chance of such retreats, I believe I would find myself in some place surrounded by hills. Just standing on the edge of the cliff and facing the wide void ahead, the green valley below with the river flowing towards the rising sun, can be out of some artist’s canvas. Or maybe somewhere such a beauty do exists. I wonder how it would feel falling off that cliff with the air rushing past my face and engulfing me. Its not like dying but more of flying away over the valley seconds before hitting the ground….

A musical hangover

2009-01-31T08:32:00.000+05:30

Last evening was the craziest in months...its Riviera'09! celebrating the 25th year of VITU. The best part of the 1st day of this fest is the musical pot-pourri. In one day, u simply get a taste of different types of music. Sometimes u tend to miss some because there ain't enough time to catch up with all of them.

12.30 PM: Prelims of HEADBANGER'S KALL. College bands especially from south(I wonder why they never call any1 4rm north!) did their gig. Some of them were really sad to the core. There was this one girl vocalist band and they made us listen a torturous version of "Zombie". Trust me sister, u better stick to classical music!

The worse part is my favorite drummer was missing. Last year he enthralled the crowd with his superb drumming plus leading the vocals.

4.10 PM: Finals of HEADBANGER'S KALL: Madhouse shook the entire crowd with their innovative Arabic fusion. Followed by the powerful chinese rock. Hi5 to Pritam on vocals! E-Flat too amazed us with their Indian fusion. At the same time, Touchwood was a great disappointment. Their music was way too bleak and had strains of pop in it. Sadly that was the inhouse band and they were awesomely shitty. Finally towards the end, there was this band(ummm....greyshack?!?! Dont rem d name) who thrashed the crowd. Now this is what the stage was meant for. They had the style, the guts and some real hardcore music. My neck almost snaped and my ears went deaf after their performance. They did justice to that event.

7.45 PM: RAGHU DIXIT PROJECT: They did the opening of the evening extravaganza. Beautiful original piece of work. My personal favorites "I still love you" and "Smoking". But the crowd response was too low. Thats what happens when you perform in a total diverse crowd. Many of them were not familiar to that music and many of them didn't even bother to listen. Many of them couldn't even even make out whether he was singing in Hindi, English or Kannada. Result: More boo-s than yay-s!

9.20 PM: VISHAL-SHEKHAR:The crowd loves dhin-chak and they delivered it. For the next 3 hours the stage was on fire. They sang their top bollywood numbers and the whole crowed screamed,danced and jumped. And then there were the inbetween repartees which just added to the onstage magic. Crazy numbers like "Dil dance maare" to romantic ballads like "Suno na" simply entralled the crowd. Even songs like "Allah ke bande" and "Tu aashiqui hain" captured our hearts. Hard stuff like "Dil haara" drove the crowd to frenzy! The duo gave us a night to remember. My personal favorite was "Desi girl" which they played in the end. What A NIGHT!

It was after midnight when we returned to hostel. My neck, throat, head, legs.....gone baby gone! I woke up today with a headache and a very hazy mind....cluttered with music. What a hangover!

Chasing Dreams and Butterflies- Part 1

2008-08-21T00:11:00.002+05:30

This is the story of a girl called Red who loves chasing Yellow butterflies. Red lives in the Green mountains which touches the Blue skies. This was her world. It was her dream was to catch all the Yellow butterflies and make them into a beautiful ladder, so that she could climb high up the Blue skies. Now these butterflies lived in the White valley. Red had no idea where this valley was. All she knew was that she needed those butterflies. Thus began her journey of chasing dreams and butterflies....

My Industrial Visit

2008-07-28T22:01:00.005+05:30

Thats my class....more or less :P(in the CPCL township)

Finally the chemical batch ’09 went for the much pending industrial visit. And it was fun. Actually, FUN. The 10 hrs journey to Chennai Petro Chemical Limited was really tiresome. Initially I was really skeptical about taking the trip for my batch was infamous troublemakers in the entire school. But I was wrong. The entire 36hrs that I spent with my class was amazing. Never in 4 years I had so much fun. And it would be really unfair to tell about my trip in just one post. Lets ‘fractionate’ the trip to the refining industry and back, into 3 ‘cuts’ :P

Cut 1: it all started with a “Jo bole so nihal..” around 11pm. With top numbers blaring from the speakers, the bus “floor” was on fire. Our class Pappu (Devansh) was all in mood to prove that he can really dance ;) Few of them joined him in what looked more like jumping than dancing. Along with the hootings, it was just a warm up. Dreading a disaster, I simply looked out of the window and turned on my player. Didn’t realize when I dozed off but on waking up, found the dance session was over. It was past 1 am and this time something else was on cards – Antakshiri. Now this was too good to miss for typical “driver collection” songs were being sung. I joined Pappu and Bansal’s team. It was more of shouting and having fun then singing. It began with just few of us but then the entire bus was crooning expect the 8 other girls of my class. Now Megha and Afrin were on vomiting spree and the rest 6 were sleeping?!?!?!
It was past 3am when we were all exhausted of songs and energy. Even our throats hurt. Finally the two faculty members there asked us to shut up and let them sleep. So when the lights went off, Bansal’s “Chutkule” session started. Anand has an awesome gift of gab. Each joke killed us with laughter and ended with us shouting “Encore! Encore!”
Slept around 5.30 am only to wake up to the sound of Mote(Mohit) clicking pictures of the rising sun and the sleeping beauties..lol
We reached CPCL township around 7am and after a 2 hr break we started for the refinery. Now what we learned there was doubtable for when the presentation started, we all dozed off in the ac conference hall. The tour of the plant was awesome though. Finally I got 2 see the “stripper” of chemical plants (btw,it’s a gas/liquid stripping column ;)). By midday it was really hot and after lunch in the plant canteen, we hurried back to our bus which was like a furnace. We then started for the second part of the journey : the BEACH.

Surving Life and Love

2008-07-24T23:15:00.004+05:30

Lately I have been noticing that people come to me asking for advice on relationships.. I mean its ironical 'coz I am the last person to know about relationships...lol.. And these people are my friends so I m in a fix. I mean what do I say to a girl whoz been dumped recently and now hates men.. ?!?! Even though I am a feminist at heart,paint my toenails pink n black and listen 2 rock only....that doesn't mean I am a man-hater. I love my dad, my bro and my dear BFFs (Sid n Chey) and do believe that there are few good men still left.
My pathetic advice 2 her on being indifferent to the entire situation was received with a sigh. I realised she expected something more filmy like calling her ex names, or planning something evil to trouble him until he is sorry etc. etc. But that was old ME. I just don't believe in such extremes anymore. I have fallen so many times and picked myself up that now I welcome and acknowledge the presence of setbacks in life. And so when I couldn't give my friend any better advice, I just made her listen to Let It Be and let John,Paul,Ringo and George teach her this imprtant lesson on life and love.

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be. Let it be, let it be, .....

Job Vs. Business

2008-06-05T20:08:00.000+05:30

Today 1075 of my batch mates got placed in TCS out of 1400 something who cleared the prelims. All for a package of Rs. 3.15 lacs per annunm. I wasn’t one of them. Infact I didn’t even register for PAT centre. Meaning, I m not applying for any on-campus jobs. For I want to start my own business. I would rather work for myself than for some corporate. Also, I believe my ability and creativity weighs much more than 3.15 lacs.
I don’t know yet what business I will venture into. Many of my friends and relatives call me a “fool” for my rash decision. After all, we are a part of the great Indian middle class. Maybe I m a fool, and I m hungry for being “someone who made a difference”. Every year India produces around 3 lakhs of engineers out of which a mere .5-.2% starts their own business. Starting a business is not easy and sadly India lacks the spirit of entrepreneurialism. The majority of the youth settles for an 8-2-8 job. We spend and spend, but production is negligible.
Ironically, half of the American economy is boosted by the millions of small scale industries of the country (now we know why the Indians get these much coveted software jobs!!). No doubt USA’s “one-door” policy has helped many startups to turn into successful businesses compared to the “snakes-and- ladders” industrial policy of the Indian government. Also, I blame the education system of the country. Its creating nothing but generations after generations of cheap labors. They make zombies outta us and train us 24x7 to get jobs. Its really unfortunate to see great minds go waste.
But a new wave of entrepreneurs is surfacing lately. They are young and passionate professionals who run their own business instead of joining the corporate bandwagon. They are the Young Turks of India. CNBC has very efficiently showcased these young achievers whose innovative ideas have given them the right place in the market. For India to rise into a Superpower, we need more of these Young Turks who will turn into Business Titans and eventually be Multinational Giants.

Life is like that

2008-06-03T09:34:00.004+05:30

Every evening after my 2 hrs of swimming session, I just come back home hungry as a hippo. Now swimming has done wonders to my appetite and also I m gradually overcoming my fear of drowning. Yesterday was my 4th day of training and I completed 2 laps. I feel great! I guess I m no longer afraid of water.
By the time I came out of the pool, it was 8pm. Already hungry and tired, and to add to my woes, it started raining and there was a power-cut. My 20 mins of leisure night-walk to home turned into a frenzied run for dry shelter. In my hurry to take a shortcut, I climbed a 6 feet wall, only to slip, fall and chip my nail. Now I was tired, hungry and bruised. I think I cursed everything for ruining my evening...from the rain to the algae growing on that wall.
Little did I know that something else awaits me at home. Something that worked like a panacea to my Pandora's box. Papa cooked dinner of pork and rice...it was fantastic!! When he cooks, its more of an art than cooking. And he always says that his secret ingredient is LOVE.The pork curry was like a symphony of flavors. Four of us had an amazing candlelight dinner( Thank you, ASEB!) with the amazing pitter-patter of the rain outside. A memorable ending to my twisted evening.

What if.....

2008-05-03T23:16:00.005+05:30

My series of what ifs is never ending. This is a new to me- " What if I studied medicine? "
Well, I have been watchin Scrubs alot lately, not to mention reading Eric Segal's Doctors at the same time. My confused brain has to play its part as always. As I lay in my bed contemplating my future as a doctor, some of the good stuffs I see:
1. My parents own a hospital.
2. My mom is a doc and I come from a family of doctors.
3. The Hyde-NJC episode would have never taken place, and eventually I would not have ended up in VIT.
4.I get to cut open cadavers and see whats actually inside...(I have just imagined in my imagination, a wonder-fool spoof of the Ramsay brothers' horror movies :P)
5.I get to live practically with a skeleton. Everyday will be a Halloween for me...Yuppie!!
6.I would have been a crazy-cool shrink ;) Only kind of doctor not in my family. I know its not considered "real" medicine, but boy, everyone does need to visit a shrink these days. The crazies of the world are catching up. Sooner or later you will defintely get humped by one of them and be a full time crazy. More about shrinks and humping crazies later. Its not just sitting on an easy chair your entire life acquiring adipose tissue on your ass telling people its ok to be crazy , its more like looking into their heads, as Kotler puts it "personal orientation". Remember JLo in "The cell" ?? Obviously you won't get patients outta a Hitchcock movie, but still, I guess it will be interesting to delve into other's brains.
Then why didn't I study medicine?!?!
1. In high school, I failed in Bio miserably . My human heart diagrams somehow always looked like a multicoloured raddishes( oh yes! we had to colour them) and the sperm diagram looked like a balloon tied by a string :P
2. My mom practically dissuaded me saying-by the time I become a full fledged doctor, half of my life will be over( which is true :( )
3. Doctors never have enough time. They are ever-busy.
4.Somehow they always smell like disinfectants .
5.I could have never remembered those 1001 names of tissues, diseases yada yada.
But oh! The beauty of rewinding back time and starting all over again, doing something new... although in my imagination! My best 60 seconds.

Yay!! Its never too late...

2008-05-02T22:43:00.002+05:30

....to start blogging again :P
The only thing I wrote past few days was my SOP and filling up few forms. Writing exams are compulsion..thus not to be counted. Few hundreds of thoughts to blog( the "un-classified" ones) did burst up since my last entry, but damnnit!! yet again the evil power of "laziness" took over me. With the cracking of my knuckles i hereby announce my comeback! (Har! Har! I bet noboby even noticed that I was gone...lol) But what the heck? My space...MY WAY!!

Its 5 in the morNING...

2007-12-29T05:18:00.001+05:30

....and i have absolutely no idea what to do now,other than not getting sleep....
6am..time to hit the gym but its still an hour away...so what do i do??
... i find myself surfing through a greek holiday page(i have absolutely no idea why!!!) and another page on diatomaceous earth(work!)

what can i possibly blog about?!?!.....no politics,no games,no food....at this hour nothing absolutely interests me...(sid, i hope that answers your question)

Grooms for sale..!!

2007-12-02T15:30:00.000+05:30

It happens only in India. Well two days from now my cousin was supposed to get married. Now it’s cancelled. Reason: DOWRY!! (Very much prevalent in many Indian communities. Fortunately it doesn’t exist in my Assamese community. And this is why we were hit below the belt.) It was another boy-meets-girl story. He is a Jhat and she is an Assamese. They fell in love and decided to get married after dating for 3 years. Everything was picture perfect until a dowry of 50 lakhs was demanded a week before the marriage. Well if it wasn’t paid on the day of “sagaii” (which was two days before the marriage and to be held at Delhi), the “baraat” won’t come down to Assam for the wedding. Sounds like a stupid Sooraj Barjhatiya plot, eh? Well this has what happened in reality and that too in my family!!

Thought that in such a helpless situation the bride’s family would comply with it. But they just missed a single point. They are dealing with the Sarmas. Blame it on our genes, but we do strike back when unexpected. My sister simply told the groom: “Bhad mein jai tu aur teri ma…the marriage is off!!” I bet he didn’t see that coming. And if marriage is all about respecting one another, then dude, I can never respect a guy who asks money from my dad.

Calling off the marriage was really brave of her and the entire family supports her decision. Her only lament is that she couldn’t recognize earlier what schmuck and weakling he was. I mean who would expect an educated guy with a secured job to act like an invalid. Ironically, Indian grooms come with price tags. The marriage market is an auction house indeed. Higher your degree and your position, the dowry amount increases exponentially. No consideration even if the bride is equally qualified.

Taking dowry can never be an age-old tradition. It is just another means for filling our endless pit of greed. And the new-age Indians are crazy about easy money. So unless you clean the skeletons in your closet, there is no stopping to DOWRY.

Clouds, a book, pringles…perfect day!

2007-11-02T00:44:00.000+05:30

Its been a cloudy day today and oh, what a respite! I mean after the ever existing scorching heat of Vellore, the rains are like “mama mia”… winter here is nothing more than the rains.. But I ain’t complaining. I m just at my laziest best. Spending an entire rainy day doing nothing. Just reading one your favorites in the warmth of the quilt…hmmm I could trade it with any day of my life. Well Gone With The Wind still spins the same magic everytime I read it. Simply can’t get over the beautiful yet fiery Scarlett O’ Hara and her struggle during the war, and the audacious Rhett Butler (we all fell in love with him!) and his snide remarks. Been reading it since morning and never realized it was almost dinnertime when I finished this thousand page epic( okay, I missed breakfast and lunch in a row but saved by a pack of pringles J). Had it not been for my nosy neighbour who banged my door 2 check on vitality signs, I wouldn’t have come out of this reverie. Now this is the beauty of living in a single room on the seventh floor. Nobody bothers and this is my own seventh haven. Wish my term end examination wasn’t round the corner, or else I would have devoured the entire literary section of the library(the section I ever visited..lol). Now that my book is over and I had a totally messy dinner of the mess, alas there ain’t much to do around than sleeping. Hope its another rainy day tomorrow for another good book to read. The importance of being idle is learnt and respected after all.

le mur sans tristesse

2007-09-23T23:51:00.000+05:30

CAMs are round the corner...and this is the time of the semester that i really hate..not dat i m an exam-o-phobic...its just that u kindda feel tensed,as if a heavy cloud of bad moods is hovering over u..i mean exams are imminent n so are these times..an erre silence falls over the hostel corridors(now now this isn't some r.l.stine tale)..the place gets a demented look..at times even my room gets stuffy and the sight of so many texts on my table makes me feel like puking..so this time i m nt taking a chance and thats when i got the idea of creating my "snappy wall"...now don't take the literal meaning...its the wall infront of my table and i stuck it with pictures from my albums..little did i know that the outcome would be so good..the entire wall looks like a collage of my life..its so full of people and so full of life..people who are part of my life or people who momentarily touched my life at some point..all of them together at one place and smiling down at u is truly amazing..i am not a romantic but watchin these snaps make me feel as if i m watchin the movie of my life minus the sad parts...and that makes a light feel good movie?? a comedy rather coz there are these embarrasing pics where i had really short hair or the ones where i played the role of devil in school drama and i apparently had two red horns, a tail and my face painted black...!! i mean that drama was a mistake but now i laugh looking back at it...and i m not ashamed of telling about it... hey wait a min..isn't this what life is all about?? sometimes you make certain mistakes and later on have a good laugh thinking about them..and what a fool u had been!! now looking at these pics i kindda feel elated at any time of the day and i just simply smile...and i just hope this works during the dark times a.k.a the exam times...the only wish unfulfilled is..the pictures aren't moving!!

life is beautiful...infact it always was...

2007-08-27T23:24:00.000+05:30

well today morning i woke up with a hollow feeling... i felt really miserable...i just realised what i was missing the most in life...surprisingly it was life itself!! i felt so sorry about my foolishness to waste the precious moments in my life cribbing about (my college, my bad grades,my course subjects...),my stupid bouts of depression and loneliness, crying out loud how good my past was and how much i hate the present, feeling sad about people i lost, things i didnt do or said at the right moment, some wrong choices in my life etc. etc.. now i know and have thus learnt that it was all BULLSHIT!! life was never a sad place for me to live in... it was i who made it sad...pathetic to be more precise..there were times in my life when i wanted to erase certain memories of my life cause it haunted me..didnt realise i was trying to rob away my own happiness in this futile pursuit... but now, trying to live with them, and accepting it as part of this cycle called life actually made my life much more simpler..and happier..

i mean wat was i so sad about all these years?!?! i got everything i wanted ...a healthy life,an amazing dad(oh!! hez "papa the great"), an awesome mom(more of a friend than a mother), a very naughty yet cute brother(kiddo, u rock!!), a set of very good friends( u r the "darlings")...and above all i get to live everyday..i mean wat more can i ask for?? life is really beautiful for me..i was once a happy kid and intend to remain the same in future...enough of the so called "depression phase" of my life..its time to wake up after this long hibernation and face the reality...

"the phoenix will rise from its ashes"...infact it already has.

This SUCKS!!

2007-08-20T01:38:00.000+05:30

Its 1.39 am.. and i m not getting sleep..excellent !!i have a paper 2 write after 9 hrs. and here i am not getting a wink of sleep...its not d 1st time i m writing an exam..nor m i nervous due to my lack of preperation...then why i ain't getting sleep?? i feel totally demented coz i hate to enter d class with dark circles or puffy eyes..maybe i will fall asleep after the reading the 1st question itself...

i even walked around the entire 9 floors of my hostel (a fruitless attempt 2 tire myself out!!), sat on the roof top garden listening to the intoxicating "coldplay"( mind you there were no stars n moon out 2nite..its cloudy)and ate an entire packet of "milano"..read a boring cheminope its still no helping...now here i m typing away aimlessly (in other words..blogging!!) and murdering around hundreds of mosquitoes past 5 mins in my room...n yet i m not sleepy!!

aww..c'mon this can't happen to me?!?!...i love sleeping and lazying around...no this is real bad news..waitamin..i jus yawned!! yippee...boring as hell u r o' blogging...but a good way to get some sleeping..nite

LSD

2007-08-14T00:00:00.000+05:30

..."Lysergic acid diethylamide. When taken with adequate amount of coke in the right way, u r high for the next 27 hrs max..."

Now this is what i wanted 2 work on as my 3rd year chemical mini-project..Alas my project partner, Aashish wanted to work on environmental issues...Baah!! Had i worked on it, imaGINE how many personal inputs i would have got from my "reliable sources"..it would be a real big -time project helping the ever-stoned student community of our college...

Dancing My Stress Away...

2007-08-10T23:48:00.000+05:30

My 3rd year @VIT is proving to be really fatal...mentally and physically. The work load has increased thousand times more with the donkey load of backlogs to overcome.. I mean there is hardly any time to eat breakfast 'coz if u r even 5 mins late for this 1st hr..you are simply thrown out...I m experiencing it every week...and it sucks when d prof. says "Next class!!" and the jackasses of my class shouts "LATE!LATE!LATE!".. With the compulsion of 75% attendance in every subject to be eligible to write the exams...life sucks here big time...

Not to mention the hot and humid climate of this place and the excellent behaviour of my department profs., i have become permanently hyper-irritated, allergic to people..picking up fights every other day was getting to familiar to me..Just the other day i shouted at the substitute lab in charge "Mr. CHIDKUT" .. I mean that guy got some problem with me.. He always picks me out when the entire batch is talking or laughing(at him!!)...That day my boiling point was really low ...and my patience just vaporised..I guess it hit him real hard ...Never did he expect that kind of retort...I did get a few pats on the back..I guess i spoke what was on everyone's minds...newayz dats not the point...its jus that my irritated behaviour irritates me more than anyone else...

Tried yoga, long talks, watched few comedies, listened to music, read books....nah!nothing was helping..until one fine something real good happened...dancing!!..well to start off with i m hell of a dancer...i suffer from the lead legs on the dance floor syndrome...so the other day when the music was loud in my room and there was nothing to do at all...i just got a crazy idea of shaking my leg a bit.. result : i was dancing for half an hour.. and i liked it!! i mean those 30 mins were stress free, anger free, irritation free...whoop!! that was jus the start..now i got the complete collection of Jane Fonda's workout with high power music...Not a regular though but whenever i get a chance i love dancing my stress away....jus lovin' it!

why i ain't posting nemore??

2007-07-20T17:49:00.000+05:30

coz i m stuck in dis bloody hell hole called vit @v(H)ellore...here everything is stagnant...not only air n water even the grey cells...they literally die here...reason: 85% of the insty ppl r either stoned, drunk or asleep,...10% of them have infected their grey cells with infinite boredom...n the rest 5%(yeah dats d faculty) are simply born without them...so guys n gals if u r a creative genius and quite bored with dat image....JOIN US!!
HAVE A NICE STAY!!

Bheja Fry

2007-06-13T19:51:00.000+05:30

finally a movie where you can laugh your brains out...

nice, warm intellectual comedy..don't expect any great stuff as in great sets n hunks n damsels for the characters(yeah milind soman is an exceptional here!! xoxoxo)

must watch in theatres and since its not that popular you will find almost empty theatres.

advantage:you can kick the empty chair infront of you while being the "laughing hyena".

when ur running..n u can't talk..u know u r fast

2007-06-13T07:10:00.000+05:30

every morning as i put on my favorite pair of Nike n start jogging with dad....this song keeps ringing on my head on n on...

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head(...my head sings that even on sunny days too)
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head,
they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head,
they keep fallin'......nananana

..coz d dunno d rest. as i jog past the riverside the same scenes keep on reapeating since i was 3...old,young , thin, fat,sportsmen,businessmen...all sorts of joggers..only difference..the young became old and few thin ones became fat with age...the only thing that remained same was the serene atmosphere....its actually fun to watch people in the joggers' park...old people busy in their laughter therapy and yoga...d young and the hopeless(like me) busy in watchin other people...
for me, i guess my jogging schedule is divided in2 three parts...1st round is rather "sleep" jogging...eyes refuse 2 open at 5am...2nd is actually when i start my day...running...3rd round is all i think of is running and chicken cheese burger...well no motivation works here though...i imagine my burger running infront me...thats it...i complete my run before time...only at the end i still don't get my burger but end up sweating from head to toes...i guess not all stories have a happy ending...

And good day continues...

2007-06-06T20:09:00.000+05:30

finally i didnt screw up my cooking....i made the perfect tuna sandwich(dats what rahul told!!)...seriously my lady luck is really smiling on me today...isn't it looking yummy??

hmm...its perfect

2007-06-06T15:29:00.000+05:30

well finally i can call it the perfect day of my vacation..its raining outside now...little droplets are entering through the open window...frank sinatra, nnenna freelon, peggy lee n bobby drain are crooning in my player...n i m reading one of the amazing book of all time.... "love in the time of cholera"...everything is just so fine that i feel as if i m on a vacation in a dream...so i guess penning it down will keep this moment fresh 4ever...

The Pasta Disaster

2007-05-17T22:54:00.000+05:30

It was a sultry evening and there was nothing to occupy my mind..just flipping through the web pages wasn't a joy either..so i tried doing the unthinkable-cooking...and that too PASTA!!
now it wasn't that terrifying at the start although i m in a total alien territory-the KITCHEN!! well...to start off with i burnt my hand while draining the hot water...the amount of tomatoes weren't enough...the sauce was undercooked...the pasta was overboiled n looked like loose skin(yeww!!)..but that was not d worst part...it was the aftermath-the kitchen was total mess(mom freaked out!!) and ya how can i forget the part called "EATING"...where i made ma,pa n bro to eat that gooey stuff...well mom n dad gobbled it down with litres of water and rahul coudn't eat more than 3 spoons(i know he did that too outta pity or maybe courtesy)and this is what he said:

"Sis,do whatever u want in life except...cooking!!"

ah! it was a real shame especially when both your parents are awesome cook...not my fault(zaroor genes mein koi chemical locha hua tha!!)

The Bastard Theory

2007-05-09T16:21:00.000+05:30

well the other day i came across this hilarious yet a very controversial theory.its by Anthony Sherratt concerning how/why it's the bastards who end up with women(hey!!not all women..)..here goes the theory:
"Women find confidence attractive. The only problem with this is that quite often the other traits a woman may look for are not present in the most common form of Confi-magnon man: the Bastard. Bastards are very confident particularly in social situations because they have less invested in it. That is, they don't really care. And when you don't care there's little or no nerves, a nonchalant attitude and sometimes a touch of arrogance. This lack of caring (the very lack of the sensitivity that women also want) is easily disguised when The Charm needs to be turned on: true bastards do this easily. Their philosophy is that women are for just their pleasure and I've even had one offer his "hunting philosophy" that went along the lines of "I'll get/ask for sex and I get it or I don't. 99 rejections are worth 1 acceptance."(bloody bastards!!) (paraphrased) In summary they see women as a sex toy or meat and it's their low care factor that gives them their confidence, their strongest weapon.

The real problem lies in the fact that most females seem unable to distinguish between confident bastard (common) and confident man (rarer and becoming disillusioned). After all bastards camouflage themselves well and have more opportunity to practice the charm (ie lies). But unlike confident man the bastards don't follow through. Occasionally they will for awhile but their selfishness will shine through.

The truly sad thing is that because of the higher profile the bastards enjoy a lot of women will generalise and categorise all men into the bastards genre(and they love doing it!!). This is obviously untrue (and unfair) but the sensitive man is the one who is a little less likely to play the games and may often be rebuffed early. Going off on a tangent now... But most men can distinguish between the sleaze/player/bastard (confidant-eructus) and the dying breed of confidant romantics??Ironic that the shallower (and retrospectively less attractive) man is more attractive in the short-term. Is humanity doomed by our own genes? Or just our emotional desires? "

finally the song that inspired my blog...

2007-05-05T00:04:00.000+05:30

MY WAY:
-Frank Sinatra(yeah i do listen 2 jazz 2..thanks 2 him...mesmerised me with his album "Strangers in the night"....i still go gaga over that golden voice...way to go sinatra!!)

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

THE BEST PART OF MY DAY...

2007-04-06T11:57:00.000+05:30

Seriously it’s the most unexpected thing that can happen to me coz I study in such an insty where I hate everything about it. Ask my best friend and he’ll tell u how much I complain about my college. But a strange thing happened n now I actually started liking my insty. Well I joined this Techno-preneurship Training Program (TET) conducted by VITTBI and I love it. It’s the missing link of my restlessness. Here I m taught the basics of starting my own business – from finding a business opportunity to marketing the product.

Its love at first sight. From day1 it’s a magical tour for me. Every moment of these classes I learn something new. And I m enjoying the whole experience. It’s generally after my class hours. From 5pm it sometimes extends up to 9pm. And hey I m not complaining about the dinners I missed or my basketball practices or hanging out with my friends. The whole idea of starting my own business actually scared me in the beginning. But now that I know its same feeling for any damn entrepreneur, I m no longer scared to take a dive in the business world. Infact my first business venture is in its incubation period. I m not an MBA (nor intend to be one!!), so I m vulnerable to making mistakes in my first venture. But I love to learn my lessons always the hard way. It’s a real time challenge and nothing excites me more than a tough challenge.

Number crunching in finance class or solving the tricky case studies actually makes my day. Besides, the numerous camps and seminars I attended have opened a new vista for me. And the best part is I m meeting people from the business world. Industrialists, venture capitalists, entrepreneurs, marketing scholars…you name it. Just sitting next to them and sharing their experiences is euphoric. There is so much to learn from them. Its like I m an empty glass which never gets full. I remember my Taekwondo Master saying “Never stop learning. If u ever have to bow ur head in front of someone to gain knowledge never give a second thought. Go for it”. And its so true.

Business world is my world. This is where I belong. It’s a tough and lonely road ahead. But who cares? After all its what I love. And nothing else matters.

Big apple… Britain…. Big brother…. Brown… "B" factor surely affects us

2007-03-20T18:56:00.000+05:30

That's the crap we have been reading for "quite" sometime. Seriously it's a worthy piece of shit 'coz every one is having a good time from it. Right from the celebrity herself to the readers. It's a beautiful chain reaction. We Indians are always good at making issues (literally n biologically too!!) I mean aren't we the ones who love kissing the phirangis' white asses since they first landed on our soil. No doubt the British left is us in 1947 but we surely did follow them back to their homes(like faithful dogs!!).

I don't know what's wrong with the so called "rich n famous n intellectuals" of our country. Why are they so prone to kissing white asses n become proud immigrants in foreign lands?? Fine! U get good money, better lifestyle….blah blah blah and what! Hordes of racist remarks and slave treatments!! And I don't blame the whites for this. U know why?? 'Coz they are so used to Indians behaving no better than slaves. Whether u are a businessman in Britain or a Silicon Valley worker or a celebrity or just a college student they will always laugh at ur back. They don't give a damn being called as racists. 'Coz they know very well that at the end of the day we need to come crawling back to them. Doesn't the value of dollar decide how many Indians will get to have their dinner tonight?

But media is giving a different picture altogether. I mean look at this sequence of headlines: "Shilpa faces racist slurs in celebrity show", "Indians around the world protest at the misbehavior of the house inmates", "British condemns Goody's behavior", "Goody apologises to the world", "Shilpa wins the Big Brother", "Shilpa meets the queen", "Goody comes down to India", "Commons all praise for Shilpa"….. And on and on…

I mean what crap picture is media painting to us. Don't they know we Indians love being insulted. Our forefathers happily received it and we are just following their steps. Now look at this irony. The British leaders are calling "our" Shilpa (pun intended) an "epitome of grace"… hey wait a minute! Aren't they from the same families who called Gandhi the " naked fakir"?? Poor white men! Look what all they have to do to save their dirty white asses!!

Now look at us. At this moment there is so-called "uprising" among us. And we are fighting for our human rights, condemning racism. But how long do u think will this continue? Unless we believe in ourselves and "we can do it on our own" becomes the mantra , these are of no help. Now I m not talking about total isolation but I m saying no to "decent slavery". I agree ours is not a perfect country, but we can actually work for it. Look at our Japanese friends. Their "been there, done that" attitude have catapulted them to the topmost slot amongst the Asians. Now people if u think u had enough of "ass kissing", its time that u do a bit more of "kicking asses" and show them what u are made of. I m ready…. are you??

Is this heaven?

2007-03-15T14:36:00.000+05:30

Ever felt rain on ur face and sunshine too at the same time? For one fraction of second your whole body shivers and then…u smile. Hmmm… I don’t know what heaven is, but maybe it feels like this. Well I was thinking of my summer trip to Gangtok. It was awesome. As the bus was moving through the winding mountain roads, I swear it was one of my best trysts with nature. Ya, I m a nature lover and the mountains tops my list. So as I was saying, it started raining lightly though it was sunny. (I loovve the “sun n rain” combo pack.) You see I had the advantage of occupying the entire last seat of the bus (by the way, there were hardly 20 people in it!!).So I opened the windows there, at the expense of getting disapproving looks from the passengers. But who cares??? That was my moment and I didn’t let it go. And I had my trip to heaven. The scenery was outrageously beautiful. I mean you can see river Teesta below flowing madly, the tall dark green pines passing by and my oh my smell of rain on dry earth!! Adding flavors to it, the sun was just peeking through the clouds …this whole conspiracy seemed straight out of the Wordsworths or the Robert Frosts. Incidentally at that moment my Discman was playing Shania Twain’s “C’est la vie”. Slightly soaked in rain and humming one of my favorites, I felt detached. No boredom, no tensions of “how to survive the remaining semesters at VIT”, I was almost flying. (remember the Krackjack ad!!) Suddenly I was smiling by myself. (Yeah the passengers gave me a “she’s a mental” look.)Now thinking about it, I remember these lines by Robert Frost:

“These woods are lovely,
Dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.”

Promises???...... Nah! Not exactly, rather compulsion. Like completing my “donkey load” of pending lab work which I need to complete tonight before I get thrown out of the lab tomorrow (again?!?!). Ah! Reality hits real hard. Now back to work….. (With loads of grumblin and cussin…)

the beauty of "letting it go"

2007-03-06T16:26:00.001+05:30

all of our lives we tend to do stuff what others will like.eons ago many wise "dinos" said "we live for others". i say "bullshit". coz the moment u start pleasing others ...do stuff stuff what they like..u lose ur individuality..unknowingly u become sad...by the time u realise its all too late...the beautiful moments are gone when u could have enjoyed your life...but the bloody society will praise u saying" u sacrificed ur life for whomsoever it was"...and you will have a sense of false happiness..
my question is"why to sacrifice ur happiness for some petty praises??" instead why don't we jus live every moment for ourselves..doing what we like and giving a damn what others will say(gotta take a lot of risk here)...but then the so-called"conscience"(very much influenced by the society!!)will kindda say "hey man dats being selfish!!" and we hold ourselves back and never dare to take dat risk again...so whoz the loser here we or the society??

hence i believe that the moment we let go of this we are sure to be the happiest souls on earth.religion teaches the exact opposite and so i lost faith in it.it always holds us back from what we want.so why can't we be free like the air??or the animals in the jungle??just be free from such invisible cages...

this is not a poem....

2007-03-03T15:55:00.000+05:30

they love to hate us,
they mock at us,
they do their best to crush us,
'coz they know they can never be us,
for we are the "born fighters"
life is a never-ending war for us,
nothing is ever easy for us,
we strive n fail
but never give up...
'coz we always get what we want
maybe in the hardest way,
n hell we are proud to say
"we don't need no godfathers" anyway....

what do you do...

2007-01-11T17:49:00.000+05:30

well what do u do when things go terribly wrong when u r on d verge of winning,when mind gets blocked at the point when it needs 2 b at its best,and most importantly when u don't know why this is happening to you...do you simply say "thank you life for the misery" and give up ...or u simply hold on 4 a ray of hope??

confusion..confusion...holy shit!! somebody show me the way....i m totally lost...dead end..

When chocolate cake weds fresh cream..

2007-01-07T11:12:00.000+05:30

You are my fire,
The one desire,
Believe when i say
I want it that way....
Sounds like a Backstreet Boys songs huh? But this is my humble ode to this epitome of beauty-FRESH CREAM BLACK FOREST CAKE...yummm..

This 4 inch chocolate paradise is covered with 2 inch of fresh white cream sprinkled with chocolate chips and fresh red cherries.
Bite 1. Your heart does bungee jumping.
Bite 2. Along with the chocolate, your heart melts too.
Bite 3. You are in trance.
Bite 4. You attain Nirvana.

Excerpts from life. If food can kill with pleasure, this is one of the deadliest fusions on earth.

the next amazing story....

2007-01-06T17:26:00.000+05:30

mind u people out there...the next amazing story to be published in this blog will be MY STORY...and i mean it...muhahaha(wicked high pitched witchy laughter)....unleash the monster within!!

The amazing success story of K B Chandrasekhar

2006-12-05T09:23:00.000+05:30

The story of K B Chandrasekhar, founder-CEO, Jamcracker Inc, is highly inspirational. Especially, for all the enterprising young Indian men who desire to be successful entrepreneurs.
Chandra's journey started at Kumbakonam in Tamil Nadu where he was born, moving on to Trichy where he spent his early years, and then to Chennai where he did his school and college education, and finally to Silicon Valley in the United States.
It was at Silicon Valley that he struck gold. That too in a big way. It is the classic, modern-day story of a middle class young man-turned-multi-millionaire.
Chandra describes himself as "a serial entrepreneur and risk-taker who empowers others to accomplish their dream."
This is his story.
The Early Years
I come from a classic middle-class family: my grandfather, grandmother, father, mother... all living together in a joint family. Family values were strongly embedded into me as a result of this.
I was born in Kumbakonam, but was in Trichy till 1968. I did my schooling at Ramakrishna School in Chennai and then joined the Vivekananda College to do my BSc in physics because I couldn't get into engineering. In 1980, I got admission to the Madras Institute of Technology at Anna University.
I was not exposed to business of any sort, but my father, in those days, dabbled in shares. He encouraged me to have freewheeling discussions on various aspects of business. Those were the seventies, but I was given enough freedom to think freely. My parents were there all the time supporting me and encouraging me.
I didn't realise the value of it all then, but later on I understood the kind of impact those discussions had upon my thinking. More importantly, they encouraged me to take risks. In the eighties, when working in a public sector was considered safe, I was encouraged to go into a field that was uncharted, like computers.
I entered the world of computers very early, way back in 1983 when I joined Wipro. Wipro is an entrepreneurial company that gave me the opportunity to try out various things.
To the USA
In 1990, I moved to the US on a job assignment. Would I have the courage to start something on my own had I been in India? I think I would have done the same thing even if I was in India. Actually, I had packed my things to come back to India in 1992 because my wife and I decided we were going to do something on our own in Bangalore. It just happened that we got an opportunity to get started in the US itself.
What I mean is, the willingness to do something on my own has always been there. In 1983, I wrote a small business plan to create 'Casio calculator-based ticket punching machines' for bus conductors, and sent it to Casio. We even dabbled in starting companies by importing game kits from Korea and Taiwan for $1 a kit.
Somehow, those things did not click because of our middle-class background, not having the money, and also because of our inexperience.
I would have done business in India too, but probably not on the same scale. Indian companies had the benefit of time. If you look at some of the successful companies in India, you will see that it took them almost 20 years to reach the first $100 million. But when you are in the US, you don't have that luxury; you have to grow fast. The willingness to take risks was more there, and that I got because I was in the US.
I would not have had that courage if I was in India because I would have been more concerned about safety.
First venture: Fouress
When we had packed and were ready to come back to India, one of my friends at Sun Microsystems told me that he had a project. However, he wanted me to stay back and do it in the US. That was where my real entrepreneurial spirit came into play.
At that time, BFL and Mastech had just started. B V Venkatesh, who had started BFL, was my colleague at Wipro. Venkatesh and Sundar -- one of the founders of Mastech -- told me: 'Chandra, you do it. We will back you.'
I jumped at it with just $4,500 in my hand, and no capital. I leveraged on Venkatesh and Sundar. We started Fouress, a software design company. I could do it because we had a great understanding, because we believed in each other and trusted each other.
We took the company from nothing to over a million dollars a year in the first two years.
I attribute my success mostly to my wife for her moral and physical support for standing by me and sacrificing everything. For several months, we used to live on basic food because we couldn't afford anything else. I need not have done it because I had an $80,000 job in my hand at that time. That means it was a self-inflicted pain, and that you cannot go through unless you are in it together.
Secondly, we were leading a nomadic life; we didn't have a car or a house. So, we were not stuck. I feel if I had gone to the US to study, I would not have done all this that quickly.
Starts Exodus Communications
By 1993-end, Venkatesh joined me as a co-founder. We then started dreaming of building a bigger company, something that would be revolutionary. Internet had not started at that time but we started the Internet business in 1993 itself.
That means we were ahead of the times. Probably, we did not even realise the risk we were taking. By sheer chance, after we started, the Internet bloomed and we were in the right place at the right time.
Destiny and Kanwal Rekhi
I believe in destiny. Venkatesh and I faced bankruptcy many a time; we borrowed money with no assets but we survived.
It was destiny which brought people like Kanwal Rekhi to us. He is one of the pioneer entrepreneurs of Silicon Valley. He started his first company in 1982 which went public in 1987.
By chance, I happened to go to a TiE (The IndUS Entrepreneurs) meeting and saw Kanwal Rekhi there. There were very few people there, so after the meeting I told him, 'I want to send you a business plan.' He wrote his fax number and gave it to me. I still remember it was in May 1995.
The very next day, I sent him a five-page executive summary of my business plan. There was no news from him for three months. One day, we get a voice mail from him saying that he wanted to come and see us. That was the biggest day of our life; somebody was willing to listen to us.
He came to our office and on the first day, he ripped us apart. Yes, our naivety showed in our business plan. But he saw that we were passionate, hungry, and willing to take all kinds of risks to make our idea successful.
Over the next two months, I used to talk to him at his house till late at night about my dreams; we were like Krishna and Arjuna. I still remember how I told him on a rainy day why he needed to support me. And he did. He gave us a cheque of $250,000.
Exodus Communications went public in 1998 and became one of the most successful IPOs (initial public offerings) of that year.
Jamcracker Inc
Jamcracker Inc is a continuation of Exodus Communications. Exodus created a utility for the infrastructure, while Jamcracker's role was very simple; IT as a utility. With that simple dream, we (Chandra, along with two MBA graduates from Stanford, Herald Chen and Mark Terbeek) started Jamcracker Inc in 1999.
We struggled initially, but today Jamcracker has become a leader in on-demand IT as a utility.
For rural India
I started doing something for rural India with n-Logue because I saw a big divide between urban and rural India. The question was 'how do we ensure that the masses are able to get the benefits of IT?' I was not doing it as charity because I don't believe in charity for charity's sake.
Our 11-month-old company Akshaya -- which is doubling every quarter -- was created as a combination of communication and people on the ground. The biggest satisfaction to me is that I have been able to establish some innovative methods in how we settle payments between transactions in rural set-ups, the way we are able to aggregate smaller volumes into larger volumes, how we do branding and create a larger distribution system. We are slowly telling the farmers, 'why don't you do it this way? We can do a lot more in productivity.' My role in this is that of a fulfiller.
Indians, crabs?
Indians were referred to as 'crabs' because we were not known for helping each other. People always said two Indians would never help each other. But today whatever I am, is because of an Indian. I have been helped globally also. My first $200,000 loan was given by a Pakistani.
I always tell budding entrepreneurs; 'Don't think if you don't have money, you cannot do anything. All you need is a big dream! And the willingness to give up everything in the pursuit of that dream. Others will take a risk with you only if you are totally committed to your dream.'
Indians, cautious?
In our upbringing, we are always told, 'be careful, be careful.' Rather than, 'go, try and let there be failure.' We are a savings-oriented economy, not a spending-oriented economy. We are always worried about tomorrow. That maybe because opportunities were limited for us.
Indians, innovators?
Absolutely. Innovations were pulled back because of the system that prevented us from taking the risk. That is why when Indians go to other places they are willing to take risks. It has nothing to do with our nature; it is the environment. But it is changing quite a bit now, especially in the past five years.
I set up the Anna University-K B Chandrasekhar Research Centre and also an incubator -- at the Chrompet-based Anna University campus which is not at all flashy -- just to prove that the best brains are available here, and we are capable of producing world-beaters.
I want to prove that Indian innovation can be marketed globally. We have a great future. My motto is, 'you be the thinker of what the world needs and not do what others tell you to do.'
Why a research centre at Anna University?
I believe that India will become the knowledge capital of the world. If that has to happen, we need world-class research. India had research but it was done within the four walls of various institutes.
Another reason why I started the centre is because of my love for my alma mater. I want to set an example that your alma mater matters and educational institutions have a larger role beyond churning out students into becoming centres of excellence for future.
And I was willing to show that with my cheque book, my time, commitment and willingness to plough through it during tough times.
We are launching the first two start-ups in the next few weeks.
Marketing
I believe this country needs strong roots in marketing for it to become a global leader. That is why I have started -- along with Dr Bala V Balachandran -- the Great Lakes Institute of Management in Chennai.
I am establishing a chair for marketing at the Institute and as the first step, we have Dr Philip Kotler, the guru of marketing, on a one week visit to India (See: India is on a roll: An exclusive chat with Philip Kotler).
So, I am looking at everything as an ecosystem. Doing one thing and not having the follow-up will only destroy what you have done before. Everything -- education, research, marketing -- is interlinked.
Asia, a giant in IT
I believe Asia will soon be the giant in the field of IT, but at the same time we can't be complacent because you have got regions like Eastern Europe from where great innovations like Skype are coming. You will see that in the future, innovations will come not from the US alone but outside of the US also.
And, India will become a very important place for innovation.
China and India
Together, India and China will become major global players. China and India also will become competitive and also increasingly collaborative.
You will see three ecosystems developing in the future: the Asian Ecosystem, the European Ecosystem and the American Ecosystem (not North America alone, but South America too). These three ecosystems will compete and collaborate.

Hehehe...The toon in me..

2006-12-05T09:03:00.000+05:30

You scored as Goofy. Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things.

Goofy

100%

Peter Pan

100%

Donald Duck

100%

Ariel

63%

Sleeping Beauty

63%

Cinderella

56%

The Beast

56%

Pinocchio

38%

Cruella De Ville

31%

Snow White

31%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
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now dis is better...

2006-12-04T10:26:00.000+05:30

Athletic Tomboy

100%

Hippy

63%

Slut

50%

Popular Bitch

44%

Preppy Girl

25%

Nerdy Girl

25%

Loser

Goth

What type of girl are you?!!
created with QuizFarm.com

Whoa is dis me???

2006-12-04T10:13:00.000+05:30

You scored as Goth. Your A Goth!

Goth

80%

Rocker, Mosher

75%

Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev

70%

Emo

60%

Trendy

35%

Skater

30%

Prepy

25%

What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy Ect
created with QuizFarm.com

And it was beautiful...

2006-12-03T15:45:00.000+05:30

I had an unusal experience today. I DARED to enter the operation theatre. Using my medical privileges i attended an ongoing caesarean case . i saw how the surgeons "burn" a bit of fats to cut through the layers of flesh. as a layman i would say " it was gross".finally when the docs reached the womb i could no longer bear 2 see it. (thanks to all the psycho-thrillers i saw..i survived the ordeal..did not faint!!) as soon as they cut the "bag" there was sudden gush of blood and some yellowish semi liquid (aarrrghh!!). and then they saw the head of the baby. one of the surgeons pulled the baby out n cut the umbilical cord. and then the first cry of the baby boy - firm but low. they showed the child to the "semi consious" mother. and it was beautiful....the whole "nightmarish" ordeal was worth for that fraction of second when the mother smiled at her baby before falling back into slight slumber.here i learn one of the greatest truth THERE IS JOY IN THIS PAIN...

why am i blogging?

2006-12-02T09:38:00.000+05:30

I dunno why....i have deleted two of my blogs in past six months and still making an attempt 2 start 4 the third time. I was too lazy to post anything on my dead blogs. Now that i m having a "teeth cluttering" Winter Vacation and can't step outside my house,i found nothing better than this.well i must say "god bless d blog creator"(pun intended).

i hope i will and can continue blogging beyond my vacation.basically i m not a computer buff n so in college blogging seems like an "extra" job 4 me.i prefer a game of basky to blogging.but on rainy days i guess this gonna be a blessing.again i hope i continue.

i can't say i enjoy typing away my feelings n my experiences on a computer screen , so i m still not sure why m i still blogging ...lets say this is a common trait of my highy "cluttered confused mind". papa says i m always in the state of "to be or not to be". hehehe..i still dunno why m i blogging...