Miles to go before I sleep

Waiting makes me reflect - especially waiting for a visa to arrive, 'coz that generally means travelling to a new place and starting all over again. And strangely enough, I enjoy relocating myself every now and then. The familiarity of unfamiliar surroundings comforts me. It has become part of me and I couldn't agree more with Alan Alda's words - "You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." 

I left my city of comfort so long ago that I don't know if I will ever be comfortable there again. Travelling has changed me. I can't be any less dramatic, but the day I stepped out of my house to travel on my own I knew that this was a one-way road. I can only move ahead, and see the world to my heart's content. And there is no stopping to that. And that definitely scares my mom, if not anyone else. Like every other parents, my folks did want me to settle down at some point. But now they have given up on the nomad of their daughter. And I am glad they finally understood that I am a free-spirit that belonged not to one region but to the world. I choose to defy conventions and live life as I feel should be lived. Call me impulsive if u want, but we live only once. How many chances will we ever get?

I must have popped the travel pill long back when I spent hours staring at the Atlas my dad gave me. And I happily admit to have succumbed to that addiction, and become a total junkie. I have found myself in the delirious world of self-discovery, thriving friendships and an unquenchable craving to have some more. Life has become one big rave party, with no need to end in rehab. The realization that my dreams are limitless and that life can be more than a planned box of rules, is very liberating. Maybe thats what happens when you live in William Wallace's land for more than 9 months - 'Freedom' is what you perceive!

I consider myself very lucky. Not because I have drop-dead gorgeous looks, nor was I born with silver spoon in my mouth. I am lucky for the people I have met in my life. Many came and went, few stayed..and in whatever way they touched my life, they showed me something new. Earlier I used to assume that everyone thinks and feels like me, and that made me quite judgmental. But when  I met people who saw the world a little differently, caused an immediate shift. It made me realize that the world is a big place, and everyone's different. Every place I went taught me something new - history, culture, human relations, but mostly importantly about me. 


Travelling has helped me get rid of my inhibitions too.  Now I can happily talk to random people, and what I realized is that no matter where you go people love to be heard. You hear their stories and then you share some of yours. And the writer in me loves picking up on little stories here and there - the old couple I met in Dusseldorf airport told me how he (A Brit) fell in love with his Spanish wife without speaking a common language, or the retired marine at Paris CDG sharing his travel plans with his son in Australia. My experience so far has been like a book of world short stories, and its one heck of a page turner!


The road is life. I have been living a nomad's life for last 10 years covering 12 cities, 2 countries and now preparing for my 3rd. I am excited about it, and plan to fill-up my current passport in the next 4-5 years. Whats next? Naturally to keep travelling, making friends and sharing more stories. Travelling, for me,  is not running away from reality. But its my quest of finding what I believe in, and the path I wish to follow.

Everything or nothing

These two words joined together gives my most powerful mantra for life. You either go for everything or nothing at all. But then why is it so difficult for people to admit what they want in their lives? Why should we be shy about our own dreams and desires? Is it the fear of failure or the fear of being laughed at by others that hinders us from being what we can become? I often wonder.

I meet people everyday, who can do wonders in their lives only if they realize their potential.  I think they are mostly scared to admit their extreme potential. 'coz when u know who you are and what you can do, you are immediately alienated from the rest of the crowd. The fact that you are different from others makes you their eye sores. Ironically, these haters can be different too and live up to their potential. But they don't. Instead, they huddle together and gossip about what an effing pain in the ass you have become. 

I have come to believe and now, can openly admit that I can achieve whatever I set my heart to. You may call it a pompous-self-glorified declaration, but for me this is the power of my intention.  Of course I have had my share of failures, but I have tuned myself over the years to find opportunities out of these setbacks. Yes, sometimes it takes time and frustrates me, but I get my heart's desire in the end. I strongly believe in the power of attraction. We get what we attract. Its a very scary truth. I have personally come in contact with people who always claim how unlucky they are and how unfair life is to them. And surprisingly, shit happens to them, all the time.

Now getting back to achieving your heart's desire, you have need to be positive - sometimes terminally positive even when the whole world is against you. There is no middle-path of believing in yourself - Its you, and only you who can do the magic!  Whether you believe it or not, everything up to this point in your life that has or has not happened to you is because of the choices you have made. Of course, we can always blame the fate for it. But the truth is,  fate too is a part of your choice. Because you believe that luck always favors you, you have directed every single molecule of your body, sub-consciously, to act or behave like a winner in life. And without your knowledge you become that charismatic person, who not only attracts other people but also attracts good things in life.

So go ahead, and grab onto your happiness. Go for everything you dream of getting in this life. If you don't go to the extreme, you'd only be doing an universal injustice to yourself. So, pour your heart completely into your cause and make it effect you and everything you believe your world should be about. 

If others can, why can't you??

Relationship Status: NA

Ever since Zuckerberg added this to Facebook, FDA got a whole new meaning. I call it the "Facebook Display of Affection" or "Fake Display of Affection". Its the new PDA after all.  Every one I know or had ever known are constantly changing their statuses. The best part was to see someone on my list go from "in a relationship with" to "single" after valentine's day. I know its mean, but I couldn't help ROFLOLing for 5 whole minutes. I mean he could be the Facebook loser, but he caught my attention for 5 mins, and thats EPIC. I mean who in their right mind, wants the world to know that he/she just got dumped. And more importantly, who in their frigging mind cares??

Yes, i did that once but I never could understand the the importance behind being "Facebook official" (thats what the kids call it these days!) I mean once you change it, you get like 100 likes from people who neither knows you nor your beau. Followed by the gazillions questions with when, how, where…and not to forget the oh-so-fake awwww and how cute  ;) :P :D ( that makes you wanna go _I_ eventually). Yes, for a moment you may get elated thinking your 1000 friends on your list are happy that you are seeing someone, or that you met the "one". But in reality, we are just hoping when you are going to break-up soon enough. We are actually waiting and watching (and in most cases praying) when your "in a relationship with…" changes to "its complicated with.." 'coz if your relationship status says "it's complicated", you aren't fooling anyone. Change it to "single". 

To be honest, none of your FB buddies cares about your status change. The exception to this case could be your parents, family, your close friends and that occasional ex(who might be doing the silent laugh at the current dolt in your life). The rest is all fake. I m guilty of liking status changes too, but Facebook etiquette demands it or else you are outcasted as someone cold and non-humane. The only time I truly "like" someone's status was the change from "engaged" to "marriage" transition, 'coz somehow I could hear Freddie Mercury go "Another one bites the dust" instantly in my head. Every single time. Great song, right?

What surprises me the most (not!) is that your update "no longer in a relationship" will win you even more likes, not to mention the attention with another set of gazillion questions with  when, how, where…and not to forget the oh-so-fake awww and i m sorry :( :P :D" (and the occasional virtual pat on the shoulder with - "good job bro" or "good riddance"). its a vicious cycle, and you don't need me to tell you each explanation you give makes the cut even deeper.

Facebook (Fake) Display of Affection in short, creates this emotional orgy with 100s of odd people in your list, with whom you didn't even talk in real life. Does this idea makes you happy or makes you feel icky? If the latter, why make your personal life, public? Why make your life one big circus to those who gives a rat's ass whether you live or die, happy or sad? For those  who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. Those close to you will always know, appreciate and be part of your life, in happiness and sadness, come what may. Then why the whole Facebook tamasha??

Read ME.NOW.

Wasted two hours of my life attending an English class, for I have recently lost the power to write, and thought "hmm, maybe the English could teach me some English"?  If not, at least give me some muse to write.  Why, oh, why do I ever get such fancy ideas?

Honestly, my 5th grade English teacher did a better job in covering everything I listened to today, 15 years back! And I yawned for 2 hours straight going through an IELTS grade 4 lecture, killing myself in the head in 20 different ways for ever thinking that I lost my love to write. Everybody lies, and this was what I lied. If there is anything I could do with utmost satisfaction is that I can pour out my heart and soul on paper (if not to people). Yeah, and I can also picturise most of you right now smirking - She thinks she can write! But baby, haters will always hate, and writers will write. And I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.

But its true I lacked inspiration - to write, crib and scream out loud here. Mostly because the number of sensitive people around me has increased ten-fold, getting offened at the slightest touch of sarcasm or a pinch of harsh reality. Nobody wants to talk about the bad, ugly and the slap-in-the-face kinnda truth. Everybody became that wishy-washy love dreamboat who live in their concocted world with imaginary happy endings. Wake up you fools, you are not who you think you are! You think you are God's that favoritecreation, but trust me you are just that strand of sperm that survived from getting flushed out. So shut up about how life is unfair to you, man up and deal with life. And for sanity's sake, don't flood my facebook homepage with your love problems. I don't give a damn if you dumped or got dumped by someone. Yeah love happens, so does shit. And if you think you can cure cancer by reposting a stupid status, think again. People are dying anyways, with or without your status. So get the hell outta your mind, and my homepage. There are more serious problems in life. Period.

And if you are one of those losers who thinks your life is not going anywhere, it won't ever will. Thats because you sit on your lazy fatass the whole day tweeting about every single pointless event of your wasted life. So you pooped big brown chunks of cereal you ate today for breakfast, big deal. So did my dog. But I don't facebook that fact. Stop wasting your dad's black money on buying blackberrys and iPhone 4S. Instead get high class prostitutes. That way you won't die young with AIDS, and live happily long enough to reap off public money just like your dad did. 

As for the princesses who are waiting for their Prince Charmings, honey, that will never happen. You gonna die an old maid alone in your Never-Never land. The world has only frogs and toads, and Robinhood's 'gay'men ( or was that 'merry'?). Nevermind. And if you do find your PC, grab him by the collar and tell him, rather than discussing it with your gal pals. If he rejects your offer, he is a pussy or you are just fat. Oh c'mon men are flippant, and so are you? Didn't you run after the hottest bod in the block? Either workout on that muffin-top or just your self-esteem. If neither works, learn to kiss as many frogs as possible, yet stick to the best kisser. But calling me a mean bitch, won't help you at this point.

Anyways if you survived the hatred till now, and have succesfully wasted 10 precious minutes of your life reading me depreciate you, and you still think that I can't write, think again bitch. I not only held your attention for 10 whole minutes, but I also faked you in hating me(hopefully!). And thats what writers do the best - create a world for you that can either suffocate  or revive you. So love me or hate me. But I will strike you now and again with my crazy imagination, and even stronger words. On the other hand, I could just be suffering from multiple personality disorder. Professional hazard.  

PS. If you think you want more such stuff on this platform, 'like' it and drive me nuts with your hatred in writing. Otherwise, just wish you never ever met me at all. I am what your mother warned you about. 

Who needs a Hazare when there is a Pandey?

Today I m in a feisty mood. Maybe its from the sugar rush of eating the wet chocolate cake last night. Or maybe its the Pandey factor! The girl has finally stripped for the failing cricket team, and the nation finally has something new to look forward to than watch Arnav blabber night after night on Annadom.  Anna Hazare and Poonam Pandey, are the heroes of the day! Both are relentlessly fighting the autocracy of the Bourgeoise class - one, of the nation and the other, of the cricket world. If one is shedding kilos, and the other is shedding clothes..just to motivate the people of the nation!

Many thanks to Team India for losing their mojo in the English soil, we finally see Miss Pandey coloring the silver lining in nude. Twitterati has gone amok with her posing semi-nude to cheer up our fallen players on the pitch. One look at that pic, and you wilI know she has given a whole new meaning to 'deep mid wicket' . She plans to post more of such delights for every match the team wins. Now thats quite a 'motivational surprise', not just for the 'chosen 11' but for all the men in the entire nation and the world at large. The girl knows her shit well. Who is the donkey now, Mr. Hussain? Will your English ladies ever dare to bare for the team? 

I don't know if our 'Robinhood Pandeys on field' will be able to make magic happen hereafter, but  Miss 'dis-robin Pandey' has surely opened quite few magical doors for herself! Her nymphomaniacal behavior might make it to the Harvard Case Studies (if not Hollywood), wherein it will be studied and discussed with grave brevity, on how it can inspire and eventually lead to greater good(sic!) Who knows, in future she might even give therapeutical "Nude Motivation" classes in A-class corporates, so that the already sleep-derived zombiefied employees are pushed further to yield more results. Her IIM dreams might have fallen flat on her face, but now that she bared and dared to dream beyond the IIMs , she might soon be co-authoring books about her motivational skills with our egg-hatcher guru. 

Long story short, both Anna and Poonam are superstar material. No matter how bizarre their respective Modus operandi is, they truly understands the mob psychology and can make it work for their benefit. 


Can you do a Poonam Pandey or an Anna Hazare for your country?

Tweaking my memories on 'The Blue Mug'

This is a much delayed post, building a home in my blog kittybag for long time. Thanks to work, fatigue, fever, answering emails, packing and re-packing...its been a no fun blog-less journey for sometime!


If colors were to be associated with days of week, my last Saturday was truly blue - first it was the play, The Blue Mug, and  then my turquoise silk dress (more on that later!)


Fair warning, this post will not be my usual onion of criticism or a mud pie of gossipy disapproval of the play The Blue Mug. Mostly because it was an experimental play and due to my inexperience in such theatre, there were bits I didn't understand. But I love live performance art - in any form. Whether it was the German Philharmonic Orchestra I saw long back in Kolkata or Marina Abramović's "The Artist is Present" at MoMA(New York) last year, there is something about live art that strikes a chord in me.


The Blue Mug boasts of big billboard names - Rajat Kapoor, Vinay Pathak, Ranvir Shorey, Sheeba Chadha, Munish Bharadwaj and Shipra Singh. No wonder the tickets sold like 'hot momos'. I was lucky to get two best seats in the house - second row and center, ftw!  Based on Oliver Sacks' essay on case histories of patients who suffer in bizzare situations due to memory loss, the play was a juxtaposition of the memories of all the actors who played themselves. So if your are going there to watch one particular story with a perfect start and ending, forget it! Enjoy the company of the brilliant cast ensemble, their joie de vivre on recounting strange memories and the excellent comic timing. There was such an easy flow to Atul Kumar's direction that it will blur your mind's eye - whether this was staged play or an  au naturel rendezvous of a bunch of old friends. And as the actors connected, their shadows along with the lively background music made sure that this play stays in our memory for a long time.


Speaking of the cast, I will give personal review on each as they made their signature moves intelligently through 75 mins of monologues. 

Lets start with Rajat Kapoor. Until that evening, I was sure I didn't suffer from the Hefner effect, but this "Mahesh uncle" from DCH made me think otherwise.  Standing just few away, he seemed like the 'man-wine' - getting better with age. Something my mom could never understand as she grilled the 'starry-eyed' me afterwards- "Aren't you half his age!?" But despite his jaw-dropping good looks, there was monotony in his script - the sad middle-aged loner reminiscing his past turned out to be a familiar ho-hum affair.  

But let me assure you there was never a dull moment when you have Vinay Pathak on stage. The whole stage lits up to his Falstaffian gusto for life. A natural comic, he did what he always does the best - exhibiting his man-child innocence. His "Dance of the Pervert" with Sheeba was so well played that I laughed till I had tears in my eyes. 

Sheeba, Munish and Shipra are three actors whose respective work I have not witnessed before, and now regret it - 'coz they are absolutely amazing!! Sheeba's artistic expressions and champion monologue delivery left me, mouth agape. Whether it was her monastic chants of 'We are what we forget' or the bottle feeding fetishization of her 13 year old self, she was like a fresh breath of acting. Munish bagged the some of the funniest scenes from the script and he did justice to them. Shipra proved a good substitute to Konkona Sen Sharma, who plays the concerned doctor to Ranvir Shorey's character.


But the showstopper of the evening was Mr. Shorey, and he re-defined the meaning of "versatility" to a whole new level. He outdid himself playing the middle-aged amnesiac with long term memories. In his mind he was stuck to his 21 year old self, and as he connected with the audience with his rustic Punjabi, you can feel his contradictory emotions with the confusion of time. Gave a total bittersweet angle to this play!


I had a great time experiencing and soaking in this excellent journey with the actors. But I was damn disappointed with the crowd. Its a courtesy that one gives standing ovation at the end of such brilliant act, but the city's crowd thought it to be otherwise. This was something I realized after standing all alone and clapping my heart out, only to be joined a little later by few hesitant audiences. No wonder the actors got pissed (I am sure!) and they didn't come out during the requested encore. And I didn't get a chance to meet them after the play. *sob, sob*


But being a terminally optimist, I just couldn't let that dampen my mood for the evening. I glamed up for the play in my new silk dress, something I did last year when I went for a Broadway show. Yes, I do have my "super-girly doll up" phases and I indulge in them shamelessly.  They totally compliment the hours I have religiously put in the gym everyday, besides being a good break from my usual casual-formal attire(sic!). 


Overall, this whole episode is sure to last as I connected with the play at some point and few narratives did tweak my memory to exclaim, "Ah that happened to me!"