52 weeks to experiment

When 2014 rolled in and the world went busy making a list of resolutions they will eventually discard in a month or two, I decided to experiment the next 52 weeks ahead. No lists, no maps, no rules. Just saying yes to experiential experiments, and see how life molds itself around me. So yes to rock concerts, building startups, impromptu trips, double chocolate cheesecakes, and great ..... *she leaves that to well-intended interpretations*

The truth of life is - nothing matters. All our lives we are imprisoned in worry, self-doubt, fear and disbelief, while crossing off the checkboxes of society's life plan for us. And before we realize it, we are heading towards the nearest psychiatrist's office and popping anti-depressants. 


What if we ditch these checkboxes altogether?

What if we make our own rules?

What if we turn our work and perhaps, our lives into piece of art?  Rich and colorful with stories, interesting characters and scenic backdrops, and music that makes you wanna sing with delight.

What would happen if we are truly honest to ourselves and say what we are actually thinking - raw, imperfect, unedited and unfiltered?

Yes its scary to think about, maybe inherently selfish to some. But to be the no-bullshit version of yourself is a challenge to take on. To be the one who is not afraid to take risks, not afraid to tell the truth, giving a damn about others' validation, and most importantly to create for the joy of creating, nothing more. 

When I am creating something - whether writing a blog post,  or working on my pet project, I have this need to create it like a bad girl. It becomes my right to authentic self-expression, especially when it cuts against the grain of a society that would have me be someone, something else. We are what we make.  Our creations show the truth of who we truly are.  And this is a scared dance. This demands nothing less than everything I’ve got to give it.

When you come into intention, you say : I want. You embody a goal and start believing in it so fiercely that you will piss off some people. Actually scratch the last part. Most people will hate you. Maybe because you no longer start  living according to the perceptions they have for you. Or maybe because you start becoming your own rebellion.

This is not just a challenge to conventional wisdom, the status quo, the established Establishment, etc. etc....but this is a challenge to self. The day I started to listen to the voice of my inner misfit, all of my 'why's turned to 'why not's. And then I started to wonder, what would happen if I gave piece of my heart everytime I create anything? It’s a bust your ass to shine, honest to a fault, no bullshit, zero apology performance. Something that makes heart and soul bleed.

What would happen if we pursued being unmistakable instead of wildly successful by external measures?

52 weeks to find answers. 52 weeks to ask more. I do not know what lays ahead for I do not own a map, but have a compass.

And this compass do not point North,
It points to the thing I want the most in the world. 

Girls are beautiful, boys are smart

.... says my 5 year old niece whilst discussing her peers. What followed next was a good 5-10 mins serious debate on why girls are pretty and boys are smart according to this 5 year old (Mind you, women in my family, irrespective of age or generation, comes with a strong opinions of their own.) Let me tell you about this kiddo. My niece is fluent in three languages (English, French, Assamese), does ballet, has a knack for painting and will probably master the guitar someday too soon and yet, she feels the boys in her class are smarter than her. Reason being, her girl friends (all 4-5 year olds) convinced that girls should only look pretty and do stuff to stay pretty. So when I pointed out that girls can be both smart and pretty, her counter reply was - "But you can't call boys pretty, can you??" Clearly, she has not heard the likes of Justin Bieber. 

But jokes apart, it got me to thinking - if this how baby girls are brought up, how can we expect overcome gender inequality in technology?

I have been recently following Y combinator co-founder Paul Graham's interview and the brouhaha it created about his statement on why 13 year old girls should get engaged to coding. And this is where this guy gets it wrong. To get 13 year old girls interested in computers one needs to check the eco-system the girl was raised in. Secondly, don't set the bar of learning at 13 - its horribly demotivating for girls and women of other ages!

Lets start with the eco-system. What I have seen, especially in the West, is that from the moment  a girl child is born she is associated with the color pink holistically to the point that its nauseating. With Indian girl babies (atleast in my generation), I have observed that this pink mayhem was much less. Of course we all played "house" and other girly games at some point, but equal stress was also given to learn math and science. Maybe its a family thing, or maybe something cultural that society expects you to be- whatever it is, India definitely has a good amount of women in technology. However, its not discrimination free zone, and I shall talk about it a bit later. 

Now, there is nothing wrong with the idea of "pretty in pink", and I bet social scientists can confirm that color pink has nothing to do with general intelligence level of a woman. However, the idea of playing with a doll and then the societal pressure of being just a doll, is definitely questionable in the mental growth of a girl child.  Why playing with the plastic, anorexic "Barbie" more popular among little girls than solving puzzle games, or building toys like GoldieBlox? Why doesn't the popular pop-culture make teenage boys think that brainy teenage girls who take math/computer science are hot and dateable? Speaking of tech majors in college, I have witnessed how engineering women students, especially from hard engineering like mechanical or chemical, are often demeaned to be unsexy. Derogatory terms like "she-males" have also been used in such situations. Eventually these women who undergo such humiliations will end up discouraging their daughters to take up technology related education. And that is so wrong! Smart is the new sexy! I mean look at the list of amazing role model women engineers. My personal favorite is Radha Basu, maybe because I have met her, spoken with her and definitely believe in her cause. I think having someone to look up to or can relate to in the field of technology, definitely helps.

Another way is, to encourage participation in technology-related events to showcase one's intelligence in the field of technology. During my first Startup Weekend last November, what I witnessed was the low intake of women participants - couple of them with business expertise but very less women developers. This year I am organizing Startup Weekend in Leuven with fellow startup enthusiasts, and I am looking forward to more women participants, and even higher number of women developers!

I think its important that women, all women, irrespective of age and culture, should be encouraged to learn about technology, start startups, etc. But most importantly, she should be encouraged to accept and acknowledge her intelligence and her capability. Most of the times, women feel that they don't deserve success and are apologetic about it. Don't be sorry for being smart! You are your biggest cheerleader, whether in business or in life, so you must be confident and proud of your capabilities. And not chock up your success to luck. I believe women of ALL ages can master their technical skills, do bad ass things developing the technology, and show the whole world that women and girls can rock the tech world, and still look pretty hot in pink!

Thank y'all!

The only wish I had for 2013 was to have an adventurous 365 days ahead. Damn this universe loves granting my wishes! I have been blessed with absurd, exhilarating, and fantastic things I would have never dreamed up on my own. *pinches herself to check if this is for real*

I am lucky because of the people I met/have in my life this year.  What an influx of interesting minds that crossed my path! Its amazing to reflect how each stranger added a new flavor to life with knowledge, character and sheer brilliance. I have now come to believe that the world is full of people who spikes my interests in ways, I otherwise thought, would not have existed. Whether its was talking about spirituality with the guy from the piercing studio, or discussing the importance of celebrating failures with a Silicon Valley trailblazer - I am humbled by what I have learnt, seen and experienced! It feels great to be surrounded by creative and highly passionate people who wants to make a difference in the world. Animated conversations with such individuals always translated into infectious enthusiasm that ultimately fed my energy and drive for past one year. And the more I seek, the more I meet such minds! So thank you, thank you all for the amazing moments we shared!

But 2013 will be incomplete without acknowledging my inner circle (you know who you all are!) You guys have been my worst critics and the most enthusiastic cheerleaders this year. You pushed me when I slacked, and helped me slow down when I moved too fast. Thank you all for always being by my side and silently sharing that much talked about but little understood thing called love. However, I am sorry for being that absentee friend/cousin/sister/daughter on your birthdays, graduation ceremonies, weddings, childbirths and other important events of your lives (I promise I will definitely make it to your retirement parties!) 

Last but not the least, thank you dear readers for bearing with my very irregular writing this year. Trust me I have loads to share, but I have been like this child in the candy store of life - trying out the new and getting excited at the sight of the colourful offerings, so documenting each phase took a back seat. However, one of my resolutions for 2014 is to write a little bit more than today. Maybe make an effort for deeper communication levels as people have complained about my monosyllable replies before.

So whoever you are, and however our paths crossed, I am glad we met, even if for few minutes. Because sometime a few minutes can make an impact for a lifetime. Thank you all for such impacts. I would have hugged you all till you turned blue, but I guess it would inappropriate and life threatening. And so I end this year's final note the traditional Indian way by saying "Namaste", which means I bow to the Almighty (the creative energy) in you.

Project John Galt

"What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere." - Inception, 2010.

For someone who makes her living out of training people how to find the next BIG idea, I personally am infected with this one idea past few months. Actually it started as incoherent jumble of thoughts, something I brushed off for a long time because it didn't make sense. The more I ran away from them, the more intensely I got chased. I didn't realize how bad this cat-and-mouse chase became, until one dawn I woke up, called my dad and asked to put mom on speaker. I needed an intervention. I spoke non-stop for the next few moments, and they listened  - about this crazy trail of thoughts chasing me and how restless I got to the point of thinking if I am losing my mind. After a long pause (which seemed like forever), my dad said - "No, you are not going mad. Being restless is a good sign. It means you are ready to take the risk." And to which my mom added -" Embrace your thoughts. Don't fight them, see where they lead you. You have nothing to lose." Thank God for having entrepreneur parents, nothing ever seems crazy!

But for me, it was still an unsettling thought. I had to remove myself from that situation and think from a different perspective. So I booked the next flight to Paris, spent the whole weekend with friends eating cheese and drinking wine, and basically trying not to think about the conversation I had with my parents the week before. However in one of those long walks along Seine, finally the thoughts started morphing into shapes in my mind's canvas. Talk about woman being obsessed with an idea. Hah! 

Days changed to weeks, weeks changed to months and I was not perturbed by those thoughts again. Until that fateful Startup Weekend Hamburg event. While sound boarding few ideas with another "start-upper" over one breakfast, my fuzzy thoughts started clearing up. One thing led to another, and by the end of that event, this whole 'craziness' seemed like a rational doable entity with few like-minded crazy thinkers. I don't know what comes next, but last night during a Skype meeting, Project John Galt was officially conceived. 

Why John Galt? If you know what the character stands for, you have basically figured out by now what is the underlying philosophy behind this idea. I haven't had a wink of sleep since last night. I am excited about finding where this new journey is leading me to. Endless possibilities. And I think I am ready this time - Ready to face John Galt.

It happened last night

Ever wondered how much a situation can go worse  on an otherwise wonderful day? Well, everything. When dear Murphy is in town, you better enjoy the ride 'coz shit is going down anyways. For me it was last night. Came back from a day-long symposium on Frugal innovation, only to realize at the doorstep of my flat that I left my keys inside. But this is only the beginning of the eventful night. Flatmate is out town till Sunday, and I have no idea who my landlord is. Took my phone out to call her, only to realize my S2 is out of charge and is dead. So there I was, in the middle of Hamburg city yet completely disconnected from everything else. And you think at this point some miracle will happen in this reality show. Definitely not in mine. Rummaging through my bag, all I found were few sticks of gum, chocolate wrappers, business cards, one book, a 10 euros note and my bus ticket (O' the joy of over-sleeping and rushing out in the morning!) Apparently with my keys, my bank cards were also inside, guess what... my FLAT! Checking into a hotel for the night was no longer an option. Considering Hamburg has more bridges than Amsterdam, my night shelter option was literally flashing in my head at that moment. Another first to my ever-growing list of weird experiences. However, I was not ready to freeze overnight.

So with pocketful of delusion and whatever left of my ego, I walked-in to the nearest shadiest sports bar (another first!) At that point my survival instinct outweighed my dislike for whiskey and dirty bars. I ordered the strongest they have and incidentally got the bartender to help my phone-situation  with a makeshift charger(an iPod plug charger connected to a usb connector that fitted my S2 perfectly), which he had to get from his home two blocks away. So grateful by his gesture that I had to get the next round of whiskey shots for us( I m no Lannister, but I always pay my debts). Meanwhile, it turns out that my flatmate was on the road, without any cell reception. Which implied that I can still continue with my one-night-under-bridge plan, or gamble a bit on my luck, and look for a spare key to my flat (if that existed!). And since I didn't have any contact details of her friends, I sent S.O.S message to her top six friends on her Facebook profile (A little bit of stalking, no harm intended). Now it was all about waiting for response, keeping all my fingers and toes crossed.

You might be thinking why the hell I didn't call any of my friends in the city to crash at their place for the night. Well if I did that, I would have cut-short the excitement of my misadventure that was unfolding quite interestingly so far. Taking the easy way out is always there, but enjoying the struggle is something else. And in the middle of these chaos, I found myself to be unnaturally calm and I am still laughing about it. I know I screwed it up by forgetting the keys in the first place, but worrying much wouldn't have helped me either. And while at it I might as well have a kickass time out of the experience. So I ended up watching the Germany vs. England match in the bar with a bunch of strange, drunk men. Friendly matches are no fun but last night, in that smoky, shady place cheering for Germany with total strangers added the 'zing' factor to my already interesting evening.

The game ended 1-0 (Germany kicking England's ass just like in 2010), and my first SOS response blinked on the phone screen. So there is a spare key in the city! A bit buzzed and a bit elated, I jumped onto the next bus to continue my quest for the key. While I was busy giving the imaginary-fives to myself, I managed to take the wrong bus and reach the other side of the town. By now Murphy was banging his head on the table. However with my newfound sense of purpose to complete this "game-level" successfully before dawn, I dragged me back to the right route only to find myself walking in circles to locate the correct house address. Oh well, the last leg of any race is always the toughest and also the most ecstatic. And to be able to enter my flat last night was against all odds. I am glad that I gambled on me instead of accepting the situation. As always loving the risk, loving the uncertainty and the insanity of life-situations, but most importantly enjoy sustaining it, is where my passions lie. So until the next misadventure Murphy-venture, I take a bow now and humbly pass-out in my bed (still exhausted from last night!)

Of goddesses and of sluts

Today is Mahalaya which means homecoming of Goddess Durga down to earth and this marks as the auspicious beginning of Durga Puja. Listening to the Mahishasuramardini every year by Birendra Krishna Bhadra in the All India Radio on Mahalaya was a tradition I grew up in. This is oratorio of chants to invoke and welcome the Goddess by praying "Jago, tumi jago" – "Arise, O thou arise!" (For those who don't understand Bengali, click here for the meaning.) Apparently, the invoking of Goddess is so powerful and intense that it overwhelms the one who chants it with emotion and reverence.  

Such is the land of India, where men worships goddesses. Ironically, this is also the land where men violates the being of a woman, openly. Now you may refute that laws are changing and the offenders are punished severely. But does it matter? Call me cynical, but even if rapists are given death penalty, this is just a temporary outlier considering the gravity of this hideous crime. We are only fooling ourselves into thinking that one critical judiciary move will change the entire scenario of the nation. Death sentence will not solve the underlying problem - the serious issue of pervasive gender discrimination and violence in India. The truth is, we have failed as a nation. Whats the point of invoking the Goddess Durga every year when you can't protect the living goddesses in your own surroundings? 

This extends from birth to death, starting with female feticide (the male-to-female population ratio is 0.93, worse than it was in 1970) and continuing with very high levels of child marriage (47 percent), teen pregnancy (62 per 1,000), maternal mortality (200 per 100,000 live births), domestic violence (50 percent), and sexual assault (over 24,000 cases reported last year). The numbers are crazy and these are only the reported cases. There are millions of unreported rapes and domestic violences which involves repeated offenders. Most women keep mum either fearing death or bringing "bad name" to the family. They would rather live a life of lajja or shame in silence then nail the bastards that harmed them. Why? It is the society that imposes shame on them. There is this really sick idea that is doing rounds in some circles of Indian society - any form of sexual violence is always provoked by the woman. It is entirely her fault because of her "bad" character or the way she dresses. And make no mistake, these circles I talk about are not the uneducated men from poor sections of the society,  but highly educated ones with fancy profession - people who wear suits to work everyday and stir their coffee clockwise. They are no different from rural men who thinks a woman's place is in kitchen and behind a veil, being forever pregnant and obeying the master of the house. If a young woman wears clothes of her choice, loves partying with her friends, consumes alcohol or flirts with men, then she is called a slut and it is entirely her fault if she gets molested or raped. Its her loose character that should be questioned because she sexually provokes the men in her vicinity. If thats the case, then what about girl children who gets raped and then killed? Were they too sexually provoking their offenders? 

Rape is not sex, its violence. It is a sense of entitlement and power. The rapists mentality reeks with the idea that their victims deserved it and should be shown who is more dominating. Will strict laws ever scare a mindset that refuses to see "weaker sex" as nothing but a mere property that should be "controlled" and be receptacle to male sperms? I think not. Do these men fear of being exposed someday? Nope. Infact, they are super-confident that what they did was right and it was only to bring back some order in society. Rape is not about women sexually provoking men, its about women being more empowered these days. Slowly but gradually, the women -literate or illiterate- knows in their own way what they truly want. They have come to realise who they are and what they can do, despite what male religion and politics say. What men - rapists or otherwise- should start accepting is, even if you try to physically possess our bodies, you have no power over our minds and souls. And someday when this thought is deeply rooted in every men of this country, will these vicious acts of crime finally stop. This is what I hope and pray for the Maa Durgas of the country.