Being 24

I turn 24 today..woohoo! Unlike my girlfriends, who has issues with the addition of a new candle in their cakes of life..I am not at all ashamed of growing older(although I prefer being a bit more wiser!). Maybe ‘coz I haven’t got my wrinkles yet? Well I can wait till 40 to crib about it. Anyways today I am going to celebrate my 23 years of existence. Not trying to dramatize the drama here, but the journey was really exciting. I mean I’ve learned a lot in these years. I could almost compare it to a sleazy Bollywood movie- there was drama, action, romance, tragedy! I couldn’t ask for more. I would really like to give a big hug and a kiss to that scriptwriter up there for making each moment of my full of surprises. One moment I m on top of the world, the next, I am on a free fall. There was never a moment or one particular situation that remained static for me. Keeps me at the edge of my seat, and so I end up eating more than I could chew. Call me greedy, but I have come in terms with myself of going to live every moment to the fullest. ‘coz there is this huge Billboard stuck in my head which reads, “ You never know whats gonna hit u next? Stay tuned for the next big shit, baby!”

Now this shit has been both good and bad. Remember, what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger?? I have learnt, the hard way, that every kick below the belt may take your breathe away, but so does the “special” moments. Either way you just can’t stop breathing if they cease to exist. That’s what you get for 23 years of being me! And I am glad it gave me nothing, but a new-found independence. I, no longer, am part of the Declaration of Dependence that I signed 10 years ago. As a 14 year old kid, I carried around a huge baggage of doubts and fears. But the more I see, the more I learn to get rid of my emotional crippledom. And finally after all these years, I think I can part me of getting cured. Yes, old fears do lead to news one but I guess life has taught me to sober down. So my next free fall would be more like spreading my wings and say “aane de”.

Its amazing to see how much my life has changed past 10 years. Talk about being on a topsy-turvy ride. But then it wouldn’t have been possible without all the people who had been, are and going to be part of my life. Thank you all! Its worth mentioning that the thank-you even goes out to those who could no longer be a part of this celebration called my-life. I have no regret or remorse knowing you all, ‘coz if you didn’t leave me then, I wouldn’t be able to welcome the new wonderful people to enter my life now. And trust me, this is not the 12-step program I am going through, its just the downside of being happy! And I have learnt to fight for happiness. But my biggest Thank-you goes to one woman, who was actually responsible for making my 24 happen.. but more on her tomorrow. ;)

But whats its worth, birthday is one day when I can actually have the cake and eat it too. Plus all the 1001 FB notifications have taught me two things: People cares, and I am getting old coz I ran outta breath saying Thank you’s :P

P.S. I don’t feel a day older than 16 though!

Victory of the slumdogs, what next?

"Slumdog Miilionaire" won 8 Oscars! The Indians around the globe are gushing with pride. This is a rags-to-riches fairy tale of a slum dweller and the miserable life he led in the shanties of Mumbai. He is not just a character in a film, we feel his pain. But most importantly,we are celebrating his pain through the awards. Doesn't that make us masochists in our own little worlds??

We enjoy showing off the world our miseries and all we ask in return is a damn good "Happy ending" no matter how unrealistic it is.And no doubt Hollywood takes the advantage of this fact. Poor India!Hungry India!Deprived and sad Indians! The world is our stage and we gain the sympathy votes. A nice market strategy. And I am sure Hollywood is hoping it can do the same trick what the cosmetic industry did with the Indian beauty pageant winners. 

I know what you are thinking. I am an ungrateful and unpatriotic Indian who should be summoned by the House of Un-Indian Activities. But here is a fact. I am an Indian who loves to see India as a super-power not as a developing Third World country. I do acknowledge the problems we face, but I hate to celebrate them. And I hate when they make films which looks like "an instant coffee illumination of a dark continent for the underexposed waspy American who is, of late, finding it kindda cool to engage with the rest of the world."

Headlines like"India's Jamals can't afford dal-roti daily" are flooding the national newspapers today. Looks like the whole country has awakened from a deep slumber to show their concern for the slum dwellers. Do you think we really care for the likes of Jamal, Latika and Salim? Hell no! We are bloody hypocrites. Noboby changes overnight over a British-American film about India with some Indian collaboration. No doubt the "slum story" can be a good topic to discuss over the brunch on a Sunday morning, but nothing beyond it. Till the new found hype and glamour of the slums is there,I say its Christmas for the people in the shanties- Health camps, donations etc. Maybe people on the better side cares or maybe they just want to earn some Good Karma in their free time. Either ways its short-lived.

But Mr. Boyle good job! And I agree small is beautiful. I am sure India will deliver you many such storylines. And why not? We love being SMALL. So what do you plan to tell the world next? Hmmm..how about the deprived SC/STs in India and how they require quotas in everything they do?? 'coz after all, Indians are the only people who take pride in being from backward society.

Jamini

Today I would like to tell you about a woman named Jamini. She is neither a politician nor a page 3 socialite. Nor someone important who can make a difference in this world. She is my housekeeper cum sentry who looks after my brother and the house, when my parents are away. A complete nobody...then why should I talk about her? But this tall and lean boring character has a different story to tell.

I don't know how old Jamini is. The flecks of white hair and the pigmentation in her face tells me she must be something around 40. Her unique feature is her pockmarked face. It has no sign of life. I could never figure out whether she is happy or sad. Never heard her complain about the work or ask for leave. Whether its diwali celebration or a funeral, that blank slate always has a morbid expression. When I first read about the Death Kiss of Dementors and its aftermath, the face that first came to my mind was hers. Obviously thats impossible in the real world. Jamini's abnormality was not from birth.

Twenty something years ago Jamini was married in her village (a-name-I-never cared to remember!) She was continuously beaten up by her drunkard of a husband. The torture not just scarred her body but her mind also permanently. After the birth of her daughter, she was thrown out of her house. The husband remarried  and Jamini was never allowed to step in her house. The young mother lost her right to feed her own baby. And this deprivation eventually sucked out her last drop of happiness.

Now all she does is work. And the way she gets things done is that of a plain idiot. Recently she threw away my passport along with the trash. No doubt such antics earned her the name "Jomoni" meaning funny. There are times when my mother has urged her to go and meet her daughter. But she never seem interested and always says "Hobo diyok baideo, bapek aase nohoi saboloi". I guess this tortured soul now refuses to be happy. Last time when I was in town, I got her a pair of earrings. That was the only time I saw her smile but her eyes were listless.

A woman like Jamini has seen only pain and she suffers in silence. I am sure she must have cried all alone before turning into a stone. And there must millions of people out there who suffers like her in silence. Ironically, sharing that same space and time are also people like me, who cry out loud how unfair life is, at the slightest of trouble. And as I write this, I am filled with shame and remorse for being such a weak-hearted fool. But then again, tomorrow is a brand new day to learn and start afresh. :)

Grooms for sale..!!

It happens only in India. Well two days from now my cousin was supposed to get married. Now it’s cancelled. Reason: DOWRY!! (Very much prevalent in many Indian communities. Fortunately it doesn’t exist in my Assamese community. And this is why we were hit below the belt.) It was another boy-meets-girl story. He is a Jhat and she is an Assamese. They fell in love and decided to get married after dating for 3 years. Everything was picture perfect until a dowry of 50 lakhs was demanded a week before the marriage. Well if it wasn’t paid on the day of “sagaii” (which was two days before the marriage and to be held at Delhi), the “baraat” won’t come down to Assam for the wedding. Sounds like a stupid Sooraj Barjhatiya plot, eh? Well this has what happened in reality and that too in my family!!

Thought that in such a helpless situation the bride’s family would comply with it. But they just missed a single point. They are dealing with the Sarmas. Blame it on our genes, but we do strike back when unexpected. My sister simply told the groom: “Bhad mein jai tu aur teri ma…the marriage is off!!” I bet he didn’t see that coming. And if marriage is all about respecting one another, then dude, I can never respect a guy who asks money from my dad.

Calling off the marriage was really brave of her and the entire family supports her decision. Her only lament is that she couldn’t recognize earlier what schmuck and weakling he was. I mean who would expect an educated guy with a secured job to act like an invalid. Ironically, Indian grooms come with price tags. The marriage market is an auction house indeed. Higher your degree and your position, the dowry amount increases exponentially. No consideration even if the bride is equally qualified.

Taking dowry can never be an age-old tradition. It is just another means for filling our endless pit of greed. And the new-age Indians are crazy about easy money. So unless you clean the skeletons in your closet, there is no stopping to DOWRY.