life is beautiful...infact it always was...

well today morning i woke up with a hollow feeling... i felt really miserable...i just realised what i was missing the most in life...surprisingly it was life itself!! i felt so sorry about my foolishness to waste the precious moments in my life cribbing about (my college, my bad grades,my course subjects...),my stupid bouts of depression and loneliness, crying out loud how good my past was and how much i hate the present, feeling sad about people i lost, things i didnt do or said at the right moment, some wrong choices in my life etc. etc.. now i know and have thus learnt that it was all BULLSHIT!! life was never a sad place for me to live in... it was i who made it sad...pathetic to be more precise..there were times in my life when i wanted to erase certain memories of my life cause it haunted me..didnt realise i was trying to rob away my own happiness in this futile pursuit... but now, trying to live with them, and accepting it as part of this cycle called life actually made my life much more simpler..and happier..

i mean wat was i so sad about all these years?!?! i got everything i wanted ...a healthy life,an amazing dad(oh!! hez "papa the great"), an awesome mom(more of a friend than a mother), a very naughty yet cute brother(kiddo, u rock!!), a set of very good friends( u r the "darlings")...and above all i get to live everyday..i mean wat more can i ask for?? life is really beautiful for me..i was once a happy kid and intend to remain the same in future...enough of the so called "depression phase" of my life..its time to wake up after this long hibernation and face the reality...

"the phoenix will rise from its ashes"...infact it already has.

This SUCKS!!

Its 1.39 am.. and i m not getting sleep..excellent !!i have a paper 2 write after 9 hrs. and here i am not getting a wink of sleep...its not d 1st time i m writing an exam..nor m i nervous due to my lack of preperation...then why i ain't getting sleep?? i feel totally demented coz i hate to enter d class with dark circles or puffy eyes..maybe i will fall asleep after the reading the 1st question itself...

i even walked around the entire 9 floors of my hostel (a fruitless attempt 2 tire myself out!!), sat on the roof top garden listening to the intoxicating "coldplay"( mind you there were no stars n moon out 2nite..its cloudy)and ate an entire packet of "milano"..read a boring cheminope its still no helping...now here i m typing away aimlessly (in other words..blogging!!) and murdering around hundreds of mosquitoes past 5 mins in my room...n yet i m not sleepy!!

aww..c'mon this can't happen to me?!?!...i love sleeping and lazying around...no this is real bad news..waitamin..i jus yawned!! yippee...boring as hell u r o' blogging...but a good way to get some sleeping..nite

LSD

..."Lysergic acid diethylamide. When taken with adequate amount of coke in the right way, u r high for the next 27 hrs max..."

Now this is what i wanted 2 work on as my 3rd year chemical mini-project..Alas my project partner, Aashish wanted to work on environmental issues...Baah!! Had i worked on it, imaGINE how many personal inputs i would have got from my "reliable sources"..it would be a real big -time project helping the ever-stoned student community of our college...

Dancing My Stress Away...

My 3rd year @VIT is proving to be really fatal...mentally and physically. The work load has increased thousand times more with the donkey load of backlogs to overcome.. I mean there is hardly any time to eat breakfast 'coz if u r even 5 mins late for this 1st hr..you are simply thrown out...I m experiencing it every week...and it sucks when d prof. says "Next class!!" and the jackasses of my class shouts "LATE!LATE!LATE!".. With the compulsion of 75% attendance in every subject to be eligible to write the exams...life sucks here big time...

Not to mention the hot and humid climate of this place and the excellent behaviour of my department profs., i have become permanently hyper-irritated, allergic to people..picking up fights every other day was getting to familiar to me..Just the other day i shouted at the substitute lab in charge "Mr. CHIDKUT" .. I mean that guy got some problem with me.. He always picks me out when the entire batch is talking or laughing(at him!!)...That day my boiling point was really low ...and my patience just vaporised..I guess it hit him real hard ...Never did he expect that kind of retort...I did get a few pats on the back..I guess i spoke what was on everyone's minds...newayz dats not the point...its jus that my irritated behaviour irritates me more than anyone else...

Tried yoga, long talks, watched few comedies, listened to music, read books....nah!nothing was helping..until one fine something real good happened...dancing!!..well to start off with i m hell of a dancer...i suffer from the lead legs on the dance floor syndrome...so the other day when the music was loud in my room and there was nothing to do at all...i just got a crazy idea of shaking my leg a bit.. result : i was dancing for half an hour.. and i liked it!! i mean those 30 mins were stress free, anger free, irritation free...whoop!! that was jus the start..now i got the complete collection of Jane Fonda's workout with high power music...Not a regular though but whenever i get a chance i love dancing my stress away....jus lovin' it!