Wednesday, January 11

Read ME.NOW.

Wasted two hours of my life attending an English class, for I have recently lost the power to write, and thought "hmm, maybe the English could teach me some English"?  If not, at least give me some muse to write.  Why, oh, why do I ever get such fancy ideas?

Honestly, my 5th grade English teacher did a better job in covering everything I listened to today, 15 years back! And I yawned for 2 hours straight going through an IELTS grade 4 lecture, killing myself in the head in 20 different ways for ever thinking that I lost my love to write. Everybody lies, and this was what I lied. If there is anything I could do with utmost satisfaction is that I can pour out my heart and soul on paper (if not to people). Yeah, and I can also picturise most of you right now smirking - She thinks she can write! But baby, haters will always hate, and writers will write. And I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it.

But its true I lacked inspiration - to write, crib and scream out loud here. Mostly because the number of sensitive people around me has increased ten-fold, getting offened at the slightest touch of sarcasm or a pinch of harsh reality. Nobody wants to talk about the bad, ugly and the slap-in-the-face kinnda truth. Everybody became that wishy-washy love dreamboat who live in their concocted world with imaginary happy endings. Wake up you fools, you are not who you think you are! You think you are God's that favoritecreation, but trust me you are just that strand of sperm that survived from getting flushed out. So shut up about how life is unfair to you, man up and deal with life. And for sanity's sake, don't flood my facebook homepage with your love problems. I don't give a damn if you dumped or got dumped by someone. Yeah love happens, so does shit. And if you think you can cure cancer by reposting a stupid status, think again. People are dying anyways, with or without your status. So get the hell outta your mind, and my homepage. There are more serious problems in life. Period.

And if you are one of those losers who thinks your life is not going anywhere, it won't ever will. Thats because you sit on your lazy fatass the whole day tweeting about every single pointless event of your wasted life. So you pooped big brown chunks of cereal you ate today for breakfast, big deal. So did my dog. But I don't facebook that fact. Stop wasting your dad's black money on buying blackberrys and iPhone 4S. Instead get high class prostitutes. That way you won't die young with AIDS, and live happily long enough to reap off public money just like your dad did. 

As for the princesses who are waiting for their Prince Charmings, honey, that will never happen. You gonna die an old maid alone in your Never-Never land. The world has only frogs and toads, and Robinhood's 'gay'men ( or was that 'merry'?). Nevermind. And if you do find your PC, grab him by the collar and tell him, rather than discussing it with your gal pals. If he rejects your offer, he is a pussy or you are just fat. Oh c'mon men are flippant, and so are you? Didn't you run after the hottest bod in the block? Either workout on that muffin-top or just your self-esteem. If neither works, learn to kiss as many frogs as possible, yet stick to the best kisser. But calling me a mean bitch, won't help you at this point.

Anyways if you survived the hatred till now, and have succesfully wasted 10 precious minutes of your life reading me depreciate you, and you still think that I can't write, think again bitch. I not only held your attention for 10 whole minutes, but I also faked you in hating me(hopefully!). And thats what writers do the best - create a world for you that can either suffocate  or revive you. So love me or hate me. But I will strike you now and again with my crazy imagination, and even stronger words. On the other hand, I could just be suffering from multiple personality disorder. Professional hazard.  

PS. If you think you want more such stuff on this platform, 'like' it and drive me nuts with your hatred in writing. Otherwise, just wish you never ever met me at all. I am what your mother warned you about. 

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I did it my way by Tongue-Fu Lady is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 India License.