Thursday, September 17

Why do single guys don't mingle?

This seems to be a very serious issue with many of my guy friends and also, my baby brother(well he is 17, but still a kid for me!) Now this post is not about the so called oversexed-players or the 'chadmachine's or the wanna-be 'Joey Tribbaini's, who says no-no to commitment. They are the idiot savants in matters of romance.

Here I am talking about the cute, shy single guys. I have met alot of them. You must have tagged them as the typical geeks or nerds in your class/workplace. But dear girlies, you may just not realize that these shy soft spoken creatures may have deep deep crush on you, whilst you were busy chasing the "bull". But then who is to be blamed? They hardly speak, and you don't realize they actually exist!

In my attempt to train my brother to talk to girls in general, and his CRUSH in particular, I have just told him one thing. Go and talk. The first line, no doubt, is the hardest but still go ahead and talk. I understand that guys have this incurable fear of rejection. What will she think of me? What if her friends make fun of me? What if I say something wrong? What if she knows how I feel about her? So on and so forth. But guys, the truth is, we don't judge you the whole time. Some of us find it difficult to start a conversation. Unlike some chatty girl like me, who can talk any crap, anytime, with anyone, majority of the girls have this kindda inhibition. So dear men take a deep breath, be brave and just talk. Who knows she may even like your goofy jokes. After all, we are also humans with limitations.(We may not show it, but we know it ;) ) And we are definitely not some praying mantis ready to bite your head off!

Now your opening lines may not be outta Mr. Cassanova's handbook(Trust me, weirdest lines make the longest impression ;) ) But don't say something totally weird and disgusting either, to get tagged as the weirdo or the crackhead. There is always the very trusty "hi" or "hello", followed by "how was your day" etc. And of course, her likes and dislikes are always there to talk about.(I am sure you must have done a total background check by now. Thats really a creepy thought though.) Now hold on to your horses, I am not trying to make you sound gay. But then,if you are not much into flirting, make sure you don't try to sound too cheesy. It simply sucks.

Also, you really don't have to be that uber-cool dude your crush is actually crushing on. Just be yourself. It works 98 percent of the time.Quoting my favorite Audioslave song:

"Someone finds salvation in everyone, another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself, down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love until the end of time
Another runs away, separate or united, healthy or insane

And to be yourself is all that you can do,yeah."

Last but not the least, if your feelings don't get reciprocated please don't get disheartened. I know its easier said than done. But who said love comes easy. And thats definitely the end of the world.You can go two ways now. Either stick to your guns and pursue your lady love, or go find another hobby! After all, aaj Pooja toh kal dooja. Life is too short and too important to cry over one person,baby! But then that doesn't mean you don't ever take that first step to know her. 'coz sometimes, to find diamonds you need to crawl through the entire desert. All the best!

P.S. Please feel free to add on something extra. Its always a pleasure to learn more, after all I am no certified Love-Guru.

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9 homies speak!:

vigneshjvn said...

Seems to me you are turning into a Love-Guru already. :P But you do realize that there's another set of single guys who mingle but the mingling doesn't really take them anywhere.
And idiot savant - sounds like an oxymoron! Cool!

devansh said...

hmmm.... thoda pehle brain wash nahin kar sakti thi...!? nawab ji ki gaddi nikal gayi ab to..!

Tongue-fu Lady said...

@vignesh:
word of advice-
try not to be the good guy always..u will end up being "the friend", only. and thats the DEAD END, my friend ;)

Tongue-fu Lady said...

@dev:
there is always the next time. stay cool, TFL is here ;)

vigneshjvn said...

Yes, I get that a lot. Seems I don't really care. Never mind.

Jack said...

T-f L,

Nice of you to give this sane advice. You are absolutely right when you say BE YOURSELF. One should never put on airs or boast. There is no harm in saying Hello or wishing Have a nice day etc. One may be lucky to find true love this way.

Take care

PS : Posted reply to your views.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

@Jack:
Thanks alot. Waiting for your next two posts!

Jack said...

T-f L,

One already in and second in a few days.

Take care

Lavender said...

So true.
But I think you are wrong when you say hardly anyone notices them
I'm sure the Bull gets more attention because he is more out there but there are a lot of us who'll pick the Geeks instead. :p
So listen up geeks make your move before the Bull does. You stand a better chance :)

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