Saturday, July 7

Cupid or OkCupid?

Everyone everywhere is waiting to fall in love, desperately. Most of us hate to admit it, but we all are  dreaming and running after our "happily ever after"s. However, the modern singletons are an impatient bunch, and the good news is, finding true love no longer involves scouring bars/nightclubs, meeting friends of friends, or just asking your mom to find someone for you. All you need is a computer and high-speed internet, for this is the age of OkCupid, and the avalanche of similar online dating sites. I never knew such reliable services existed until few months ago when a friend mentioned how convenient it was to meet "interesting" people that way. But how reliable is online dating? 

Maybe I have trust issues. Or maybe, its just my old-fashioned heart that still believes in meeting by chance, and not by algorithm. But I do understand that many people have reaped the benefits of such services. Of course with demanding jobs and fast paced lives, hardly anyone has the time and patience to meet someone without the help of technology. After all these websites promise to match them with a calculated and acceptable percentage of compatibility. Only when thats done, will these singletons put some time and effort in speaking to the "suitable" strangers via email for a period of time, which might eventually exhilarate and heighten intimacy and trust between them. So even before they meet in real world, they already feel a bond and connection. And if there is no connection when they meet, well, at least its one meal they don't have to eat alone.

What intrigues me is that these websites offer every sexual whim and steamy internet rendezvous that follows, all based on questionnaires, profile pictures and personal info. Of course despite the obvious pitfalls (people faking their identity, cheaters, liars and losers to name a few), I am sure its a sure-shot confident boosters for those with dwindling social lives and appalling insecurities. And definitely short term fun time for the rest. But mostly I feel this is nothing short of one mass orgy. Some people like it and some don't, but I shall reserve my opinions on orgies for now. 

A friend of mine who indulges in online dating occasionally often laments how the women he meets in bars are either aggressive in making sure they 'get a man' or are plain stand-offish, which for him are complete turn-offs. Hence he wonders if meeting a "nice girl" online is his only alternative left. After all one's social life gets narrowed down when all the girl friends are taken, and the male friends are either married or doomed to a life of lone wolves. Singledom can be hard, not only because it can get lonely at times, but one can also get one envious by seeing others in love. I am no relationship expert, but I find myself in this juxtaposition that maybe nowadays the only way people can actually build a rapport is via their fingers. When online, its easy to come up with seemingly witty responses as you have time to think,  pick few anecdotes from Google, and even bring up any ubiquitous yet titillating subject matter without any apprehensions or fearing any rejection. 

Still not convinced? Then maybe you can Google up  thousands of saccharine sweet testimonials regarding online speed dating. If you think you define someone based on a set of questions, followed by a bevy of emails/chats, I say go for it! Of course I still don't believe that one can fall in love online, maybe its just lust. I think the conversation should be the hook, not the sinker. What do you guys think?

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4 homies speak!:

Jack said...

T - F L,

In olden days family Panditjis were entrusted with job of finding compatible match. Some old relatives or even neighbors, specially ladies,played this role. As times progressed wedding agencies in form of persons came up. Later it got high tech and started. So now that we have progressed into internet age, we have such match making sites. It is all fine as long as those who put their profile in such sites are truthful. Even once two persons like each other and build a bond, it is still advisable that they trust their gut feeling on meeting.

Take care

Raj said...

it makes it easier for some and more complicated for others.

for example, most of the people signing up want the exact same thing, courtship. and hence there are no doubts when they talk. hence easier.

complicated as how right the person is for you may be overlooked if a set of certain characteristics are in stock.

Tongue-fu Lady said...


Thats true..matching has changed ten-folds over the is the sense of bonding and trust..thanks for your insightful comment.

phatichar said...

Yes..the hook - maybe, maybe not :)

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