Saturday, June 4

The Virginity Fiasco

Madhuri Banerjee's virgin book "Losing Virginity and other Dumb Ideas" is a big flop in fiction writing. It lacks creativity, besides flow and spunk in the narration at certain parts of the book. Thanks to the dumb book review by Times of India (The book starts off as a chicklit, goes on to become one of those M&B romantic tales and finally ends in Kaveri’s spiritual contentment very Paulo Coelho-esque..seriously?!?!), it was a mistake buying and then completing it in one sitting. Only cliche´d dialogues and plots sprinkled all over the book, it was a typical B-grade Indian writer literature. In one of her interviews, the writer quoted "I wanted to use the word ‘virginity’ on the cover of an Indian novel because it has never been done before. It opens up a stream of consciousness that can lead to dialogue." That was really a cheap shot at publicity, because even the love scenes in the book were mediocre and lack-lusture. Indian writers are really terrible at writing sex scenes. But the book did live upto its title of having plain "dumb ideas". Just to prove the adventurous creativity of the writer, she makes the protagonist have sex in the beach, the washroom and then finally in a hot air balloon.(Can she get any more typical?!?!) The plots were just pages out of Cosmo and similar glossies.

Not to mention the whole sob story of a single 30 year old lonely yet "intellectual" woman. Its really sad to see how these writers portray woman in their 30s in such poor light. From my recent research on Indian woman writers, there is this whole genre of chick-lit which have very similar protagonists - 30, single, pseudo-independent metropolitan women who likes to go "dutch" even on dates yet desperately seeks a serious relationship. Enters the Prince Charming a.k.a the Great Emancipator or the Source of All Life -sexy, sauve, impeccable table manners and over-the-top bedside manners(sic!). Even the ogre tales sound much more realistic than these fantasy concocted men.

But lets not forget, the biggest selling plot of all times - the emotionally abused woman, how she overcomes the "love-hurdles" and then becomes the lady Buddha with all the enlightenment on men, love and all that bullshit. This is how all the books written by this genre of woman writers goes.

Chapter 1: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Chapter 2: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Chapter 3: Women are victims. Men are ba*stards.

Last before the Final Chapter: So after 99 chapters of emosanal attyachar, victim finally dumps the "bad guy". The fact that it look the protagonist a whole book to dump a guy, shows who is the dumb one.

Final Chapter: The victim now attains the wisdom of Oprah. THE END.

I hate when women loves to wallow in tales of abuse. What happened to the breed of smart, witty protagonists who loves to challenge any situation at hand with great spurts of enthusiasm? They say that there are only seven basic plots in the world of human affairs. And that all stories are simply re-arrangements of these very same plots. Well, when it comes to these female authors, there is usually only one plot.

And we all know what it is.

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17 homies speak!:

Raj said...

Indian writers are really terrible at writing sex scenes.

agreed. its one of the reasons i stopped reading indian writers as such. not that they could write any better on other scenes.

one more thing. generally sex would be the second last or third last chapter. once ho gaya to bas book khatam story khatam. ridiculous.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

haha.. I Totally agree with you Raj..its a shame that these writers come from the land of KS..yet sex is still a big taboo to discuss openly here. Absolutely ridiculous.

Raj said...

baah humbug. tell me u dont like chetan bhagat too. tell me.

Tongue-fu Lady said...

well I liked his work at 5 point was fresh n peppy..but the rest were all boring :(

i wish these creative geniuses maintained their brilliance..should have worked on quality than quantity..

Raj said...

will keep in mind after i am done with my first book :P

phatichar said...

That's why I say - horror sells. Throw in a couple o' them ghosts to interrupt the sex scenes..a la 'ragini mms'. ;-)

Then the title would read - "losing my virginity and other spooky ideas"

Tongue-fu Lady said...


Now thats the book I m looking forward to. The title suggests humor in horror, can't ask for anything more :)

Samarth Bharadwaj said...

Really impressive posts last couple of months...
The word is out, beware of the Tongue-fu lady... ;)

Tongue-fu Lady said...

Sammy Boi..Thanksss!

Jack said...

T-f L,

I do not know why should a woman be painted as something strange if she is single and touches 30. She has equal right to live life as she wants just like any male counter part. I know that a woman needs to be more cautious as she is mostly at the receiving end. She needs to be supported and protected rather than made object of ridicule. And such books by a woman author make me wonder WHY SO? If I ever write such book, even being a male, I will show such woman to be epitome of strength.

Take care

Karthik said...

Wonder how you even managed to touch that book! After reading the review I feel that the book deserved to have maintained its virgin purity - not to be touched, not to be played with.

In my Holy opinion, these people shouldn't be addressed as writers in the first place. They are just hobbyists, that are trying their hand at writing. "All right, I have a lappy. What do I do? Oh, there is m s word too. Hmmm let me write something." A month later, "Voila, I'm a novelist now!" Morons.

Bottom line: when it comes to Indian writers, I'd better stick to geniuses like R K Narayan, Vikas Swarup and the lot.

First time here. Nice blog you have. Loved your nom de plume. ;)

Utopia said...

Why oh why in India is being 30 and being unmarried always equated to unhappiness and loneliness? Like reallyyyyy!

On a different note the two best chick lits I have ever ever read is "Bridget Jones Diary" and "Eat, Pray, Love" and "The Shopaholic Series". None of them from Indian writers. Indian women have such a negative view of thirty somethings being single. As if one will attain nirvana once they meet Prince Charming. I disagree. :D Oh and I liked your blog. There is spunk in your writing. Keep writing.

Tongue-fu Lady said...


in my defense, i was Flipkarting and the book was shown as a top bestseller O_o
But I agree with you that its the writers of yore who actually had the creative juices flowing..same reason why i still stick to their writing.

Tongue-fu Lady said...


Out of all the neo-Indian women writers..I recommend Anuja Chauhan. This one comes with a great sense of humor, spunky writing and good storylines.

Welcome to my blog :)

phatichar said...

Hello...where art thou? :)

Rachit said...

hehe.. that's something Indian writters would hate, but the reality will be reality.

Weakest Link

CRD said...

I've watched trailers for a dozen of Hollywood movies and a couple of desi ones with similar plots. Needless to say, none of em were appealing.

Funny post. Blogrolling you.


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